In my house the bathroom door's swing takes up about 1/3rd of the bathroom and the door slams into the toilet when it opens. So if someone (like a cat) swings the door open suddenly while one it pooping, they're going to walk with a limp for a while.
We'd look through the bathroom window, there was always something funny going on. Such as packs of velociraptors fighting each other, or a mastodon causing wreck on the neighbour's garden.
Spanish people stopped learning greek after smartphones where invented.
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We used to read shampoo bottles that where usually shipped in Spain with labels in four languages: Spanish, Italian, Portuguese and Greek. So it was always funny to try to see how things were written in greek while pooping.
I used to do that too! But living in Eastern Europe, our shampoo bottles had like twenty languages. I didn't manage to learn any, but I did develop a sense of how closely related they were.
We didn't have to poop back then. The act of pooping was invented by Larry Smartphone, who also happened to invent the smartphone. They were released together originally as a bundle but everyone has both nowadays anyways and you can mix and match.
Teletype with an acoustic coupler. You place the handset into the rubber cups that block out the sound, so that the modem noises were clear through the phone line.
The perforations in modern toilet paper are an homage to the holes in the punched tape used to feed the teletype pre-recorded instructions.
That's why the boomers are so mad at younger generations. Used to be you could get a newspaper delivered to your porch daily, and magazines delivered to your mailbox monthly.
Why didn't they put the newspaper in the mailbox? Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn't have time for your particular brand of bullshit.
And now, it's all on screens that hurt their eyes. My mom LITERALLY turns on airplane mode, and THEN turns it off. Completely off. Just so she can charge it. When I asked why she does that, she told a room of people "because thats how you charge your phone".
She then began argueing that airplane mode needs to be on, and THEN power off before you connect the cord. Otherwise you'll use radios and it doesn't charge right.
The entire room, knowing how crazy she was just nodded their head. Yes mom, that IS how you charge your phone and/or tablet. We're not just saying this because it's easier to agree with you on something that ultimately is harmless vs argueing with you, with no real benefit on either of our ends.
But yeah. This is how boomers view technology. And print media is dead. You can only read a shampoo bottle so many times before you realize the word "poo" is in the name "shampoo", which you're reading while you poo.
Oh shit.....I didn't know that. And it means I unknowingly committed federal crimes when I was 14.
I used to write these really fucked up letters, addressed to "Satan, or current home owner" with their address on the envelope. But I never put postage on it. I just put it in their mailbox.
And what I did was took a jar of strawberry jelly, and let it liquify. Then I'd dip my pinky in the liquid and use that as the "ink". Well on white paper, the whole thing looked like blood. And I would write these nonsensical letters to "Satan Claws". As if he were Santa, and would spread horror once a year on halloween.
Keep in mind, the whole letter looked like it was written in blood. Then I'd end the letter by saying "This weeks Pokemon of the week is...." and I'd staple a random picture of a pokemon cut out from Nintendo Power.
I did this once a week every week through summer break 1998.
The last letter before school started back up just said "Today was a good day, but now I have to die..." and then a "bloody" handprint. No pokemon.
After that, I never wrote another letter, but everyday in the 1998-1999 school year, I left an apple in his mailbox every week day. No explaination. Then it ended when summer break 1999 started.
Thats when we picked a random phone number and prank called it every day in the 1999 summer break until they used the police to trace the number and tried to sue my dad. Thats when the judge noticed my dad was a middle aged white guy, not a 1970s street pimp named JaMarcus. The best part is while they were IN COURT I was at Geauga Lake which was an amusement park. While they were in court, I used a payphone to prank call that number one last time.
I'd never do that stuff today, but I do laugh at how much of an asshole teenage me was. We never did hear from the guy who we wrote letters to, and left apples for. He may have been amused, or he may have disturbed. We'll never know.
Because the 12 year old on a bicycle at 4am doesn’t have time for your particular brand of bullshit.
For 25¢ an hour, little Jimmy better damn well make the time! Sheesh, kids today have no work ethic. Back in my day, we sacrificed our souls to Lucifer Walmart for no pay or benefits and we liked it, just as Y̷̨̮͇͔̼̘̞̞͓̘̠͒͐̆̈̓̈͋̃̀̂̃̒̃͝à̵̛̬̫͈̟ḩ̶̛͕͈͍̳̩̩͎͈̀̈́͌͂͝͝w̸̡͉͚̞̟͔͕̰̭͙͍̦͛ë̸̡͓̼͔̬͇͖͇̖̟͓́ͅh̷͕̮̭̜̥̟̪̞̺̹̯̻̲̳̗̱̼̃̓̅̿̀̆̇͆̂̃̉͐̓̿͝ intended!
My grandparents had like a basket full of magazines, comic books, etc beside the toilet. It was pretty good. They often buy weekly reader's digest and stuff like that. So it was usually new every time we visit.
I would stare out windows a lot while I was in the bathroom. If you stare at leaves in a tree and let your eyes unfocus you can see patterns and shapes. Sort of like looking for shapes in clouds.
For bathrooms without windows I think I would just use my imagination. I've got a fairly vivid one and just think about random stuff a lot.
It's hard to remember though. I have heard about people reading the ingredients of chemicals while they go, but I've never personally done that.
Pooping shouldn’t be a drawn-out process. You’re better off keeping your toilet time to less than 10 to 15 minutes, says Gregory Thorkelson, M.D., a psychiatrist in the department of gastroenterology, hepatology, and nutrition at the University of Pittsburgh.
In fact, you should only make your way to the bathroom when the urge hits.
If the urge to poop isn’t there, you might be tempted to push or strain to try to get the job done.
And all that straining could lead to the development of hemorrhoids—bulging blood vessels around your anus that can become swollen and painful or even bleed.
That seems, I'm not sure the word, but not correct. You can find a doctor (any professional) to say anything.
I bring my phone and keep a book in the bathroom because I'm NOT straining. I sit down, and while gravity is doing its thing to my guts, I read a chapter. I'm not rushing or pushing or popping hemorrhoids because I'm on my phone writing a stupid comment about pooping while pooping.
I don't think Dr Greg knows how people are using their phones in the bathroom. People aren't reading the back of shampoo bottles because they're in a hurry.
Vintage static softcore is just better. It is all about what you can't see that makes it more arousing. I mean, yeah, we can't see her dilating butthole, but imagining what her winking turd cutter looks like means it is the hottest possible gaping balloon knot imagineable.
Learning French (Spanish in the US) by reading the back of the toothpaste bottles and whatnot. Newspapers, crosswords and magazines were very common in household washrooms.