What are the worst names you could give a baby boy?
Hello you awesome people,
Friends are having a boy and everyone they know wants to push a name on the child. So I decided to be the best friend they could have and to offer only bad, ugly or horrendous names to the lucky parents so they could have a laugh. I already send them some names and dictators, Smeagol, Steve and Juan-Esteban.
So please, people or Lemmy, give me the worst names you could give a child, so that I can help them as a good friend!
Ps: don't worry, I've already planned some meals to drop off when the gremlin will be there to feed the parents. And some take-out vouchers so they won't get food poisoning
No joke, it's pronounced Kyle. It's the Greek letter chi, the dipthong æ which is called an æsc (pronounced ash) that makes a sound similar to the "a" in "cat" but shorter, and A-12 stands for "alphabet 12" or the 12th letter of the alphabet which is L. So chi-æ-l or kinda like a two syllable "Kyle"
Bob, short for Bobert. So that every time he has to say his full name to anyone on the phone or fill out forms somewhere, he has to repeatedly explain that, no, it's not Robert, it's Bobert.
See, this world is rough, and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. If a father knew he wouldn't be there to help his son along he could, hypothetically, give him that name, say goodbye, and know his son would have to get tough or die.
That very name would then help to make him strong.
I once knew someone who refused to tell anyone the name they chose before the baby was born (absolutely valid choice, IMO). The grandpa-to-be chose to exclusively refer to the fetus as Beelzebub.
That is normal around where I live, because you never know if it will be alice alive after birth.
So I mostly see the name in the birth-card my friends usually send
Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke
What?!? What a coincidence! My name is also Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke!
Oh, hello! Can Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke come out to play?
Open a random page in any P. G. Wodehouse novel and you’re good to go! Gussie Fink-Nottle, Bingo Little, Kipper Herring, Stiffy Byng. Or, my personal fave, add in an extra letter like he did for his character Psmith, where, he explains, the “p” is silent, "as in pshrimp.”
There's a classic Japanese story about a boy called Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke. That's all the first name. No nicknames allowed.
That's how I first heard of it, and it really helped me memorise the full thing when saying it. The challenge is not doing the pause between the Shuringans or staggering the Chosuke.
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. Assuming they live in Ulm. If not, adjust name accordingly.
Were I'm from (Québec), this name is always associate with difficult hyperactive kids. It's like a running joke "This classroom is full of Kevin". One of my good friend is a Kevin, he find that quite funny.
When I was working at a car dealership twenty years ago, I knew a salesman with that name. Before he sold cars, he was a relatively wealthy lawyer who got busted and disbarred for embezzlement or something to that effect, I never knew or cared enough about the details.
Not as bad, but still not great, my graduate advisor’s name was John Johnson. It still is but I’ve been done with all that for eight years.
There is a Pokemon competitive player named Chuppa Cross IV. Which means not only that somebody was unironically named Chuppa, but also his father, and his grandfather, and his greatgrandfather as well.