I feel like "it is what it is" is too often shit on.
I had a boss from whom I learned about staying calm and keeping steady course.
His favorite saying was "it is what it is" and it was always in the context of simply recognizing the reality for what it is, instead of hoping or wishing it was something else or lamenting over how it should have gone a different way. Then, from the point of accepting that "it is what it is" we would focus on how to get to where we wanted to be.
Sure it can be used dismissively, but I feel like people always just dismiss it as a cliche when it's actually usually a very good philosophy.
I had a boss who used to say the same thing. He was telling us "We didn't set this dumpster on fire, but somehow it's our job to handle it. No point bitching, so roll your sleeves up and get to it." I've started saying the same thing for the same reason.
Yeah, I have a voice in my head saying that. Not long ago I realised just doing stuff that needs to be done is much faster and less draining tgan figuring out how to get someone else to do it.
I agree with this. I use the phrase essentially as "this is the reality" to either set a baseline, or just a different way to say c'est la vie. It frustrates me when people say it's always a dismissive phrase, because when I am dissmive with it I'm not doing so in a negative way. There's something to be said about letting little inconveniences lie and fade away.
I agree, but I prefer “you have to play the ball as it lies”. It’s a similar sentiment, but more active so it doesn’t lend itself as much to defeatist readings. We can’t change reality, this is the situation we find ourselves in, but yes, we will find a path forward regardless.
This term seems like just an insult wearing academic robes. And a tautology. All cliches over simplify the world, side-stepping complex analysis.
There's nothing "thought terminating" about acknowledging that a problem is beyond your scope - which is what the first two mean. I've only heard YOLO used to encourage risk-taking, which is completely different.
Realistically, these are often just social cues that you're bored with the conversation.
Obviously whether you use a cliche to avoid thinking deeper on a topic or for some other reason changes with each use. It's not inherent to the phrase.
I don't think either of these are really thought terminating cliches inherently. The phrase is more for their usage as a rhetorical device to end arguments in certain ways. They become them when they are "used to intentionally dismiss dissent or justify fallacious logic" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought-terminating_cliché)
Ending an argument often involves dismissing dissent. The end of an argument is also the end of thought on that argument. You’re just rewording the original term, that you’re arguing against.
The Wikipedia article has multiple conflicting definitions, including:
"any use of the language, especially repeated phrases, to ward off forbidden thoughts”
"Claim Y sounds catchy. Therefore, claim Y is true."
"the start and finish of any ideological analysis"
The problem is that the term is just BS, in part because the idea it was made to support is complete BS.
Defining 'Totalitarianism' was a cold war project of western academia, trying to come up with a way to say that the nazis and soviets were the same. They weren't though. Only far right US Nationalists still claim this. The term has very low analytical use, so once the pressure to create this propaganda evaporated with the end of the USSR the term quickly became defunct.
Thought terminating cliches was coined by a psychologist in ’61 trying to claim that 'totalist thought is characterized by thought terminating cliches.' To translate: the west has reasoned ideology, everyone else just spouts cliches.
If only there was a way to describe using a saying to abruptly conclude a conversation that you're bored with so that you no longer are expected to apply any more mental energy on the topic, using an established terse phrase.
I find myself saying or thinking "it is what it is" pretty often, but not to terminate thought/conversation. If something bad happens and I can't do anything about it except deal with it, that's just the way it is. I see people complaining about those situations, and I feel like it's just wasted energy; we should save that energy for the things we have some amount of control over.
Well, if you recognize that a situation is beyond your scope you might use such a phrase to suggest moving on from further discussion either internally or in conversation with others. It might be less a magic phrase that stops thoughts and more a request to move on; a "conversation terminating" phrase.
The second one seems to be a bit of an Americanism I'm not really sure what it means. I take it to mean there's nothing anyone can do about it, e.g. there is a storm coming and you are not sure if it will hit your house or not, whereas the first one means there's nothing we can do about it but some other human can e.g. above your pay grade/ out of your responsibility.
Just walking away from someone who you're talking to is generally seen as very rude, hence us developing social cues to demonstrate that you're done with the topic/conversation.
Well, sometimes an end to a discussion is exactly whats needed. Sometimes. Like when theres literally nothing to do about something. Or the discussion is going in circles. Or when it would take shorter time to try it out in practice than have another meeting about the best way to implement it.
Doesn't "table the discussion" rather imply that they're going to come back to it at some point. I feel like "it is what it is" ends any further discussion on the topic.
“Living their best life” and “Speaking their truth” are recent and annoying examples of this.
The first is always used to dismiss self destructive or irresponsible behaviour. The second is often used to make a statement that is either false, manipulative, subjective or a combination. Their isn’t a personal truth, there is only truth.
They are just pointing out that these phrases are used for that, which is why they are recognized as "thought-terminating cliches", it doesn't mean they are always used in such a way. You can be aware of manipulative language without being an anarchist or commie.
The loaded language having an "intention" doesn't mean that intent is necessarily consciously realised by the speaker.
When I waa growing up, the f-slur for gay men was used pretty liberally without it having any related meaning to us. We didn't hate or even dislike gays. It was just "something people said" and we picked up on it and used it.
Now I have to say that a lot of those people really did turn out to be homophobes, but as it was a rural village, the chances were high anyway.
The point I'm making is that speakers can spread the "intention" or connotation of a phrase without even ever having understood it's meaning.
People just don't want to think about stuff that doesn't affect them or that they can't change.
Yeah, I understand this, and that's part of the problem. People think they can't affect change, so they don't want to think about change, so they say things like "we can't change things, it is what it is" and then someone who still had hope (but looks up to the speaker) loses their hope of change, and also starts using said language.
Accepting defeat is certain defeat.
Ofc in a lot of conversations, it might not be political at all. Sometimes you can't change things, as you have no agency. Like we used a lot of these semantic stop signs just as coping tools in the army. Digging a well into frozen ground, manually, in -20C... "it is what it is."
But it is exactly loaded language. It's just that not every use is malicious or political. They can be mundane and arbitrary criticisms that are quelled as well.
I feel the opposite, this website has too many right wing chuds annoyingly complaining that eveyone is a tankie or some shit.. its fucking annoying give it a rest already jeez
Something that I often say to myself to end contemplation paralysis is "What's the worst that can happen?" or "What's the worst case scenario?" If I'm debating trying something in the kitchen. "What's the worst that can happen? I waste a few cups of flour and some yeast."
I do use it as a thought terminating statement usually when friends have asked me to help. I ask for them to tell me what has happened and then I suggest a forward plan of action. It is very common for people at this point to feel guilty about having to ask for help and also to go down a spiral of putting all the blame on themselves. Neither of these things are useful as I need their active help and participation in putting the problem right and that's where their energy needs to be focussed.
So it this point I will very often say to them something like, "Well, it is what it is and we are where we are and there's no sense in blaming yourself, let's see what we can do about getting into a better position."
I did encounter a proper thought terminating cliche in the form of, "I hear what you're saying..." from bosses in various places. Means "I hear what you're saying but I couldn't give less of a shit about it even if I were prepared to put in the slightest effort, which I am not."
Right, which stops you from thinking of solutions and ends the discussion. But maybe it's doesn't have to be like that if you just talked it out a little more.
It's still accepting a shitty situation because it is what it is. While it might show empathy or at least understanding of the situation, it still is just accepting it that way without digging into it further, or trying to change it.
That line is usually the end of the topic. "Yeah, us working folks sure get fucked over, but it is what it is". Doesn't continue the thought or conversation. It terminates it
Yeah, I take them as conclusions, summaries, wrap-ups, basically like "Goodbye" or "Well, I'll be seeing you", "It was nice talking to you", "Welp, time to get back to work", maybe something more personal like "I'll see you in an hour at lunch".
The decision may have already been made to stop / pause for now, but the former (OP) statements themselves do not cause that anymore than the ones I mentioned here.
short circuit cognitive dissonance…
Omg I'm literally dying here - except you know what, I'm actually not? I'm saying that it seems overly dramatic language to me. Like someone who heard those words somewhere and thought they sounded cool, without knowing what they even mean...:-P 😎
Though tbf they probably could be used for that purpose sometimes too, yet that doesn't mean that is what they are "meant for"?
I kinda like 'its all good'. Which I never took to mean it was good but 'what you say when things go horribly wrong' as a joking meaning,aka it's the situation you can't change now so just go with it until you can change things.
Even when i hear those things it makes me want to explore a situation deeper because such phrases are indicative of an ignorant, fatalistic attitude that begs to be illuminated
Cognitive dissonance - conflict from holding two conflicting beliefs simultaneously
So it's a way to either prevent or stop mental frustration due to conflict between two beliefs.
For example, X needs to be fixed, but fixing it will take too much effort. "It is what it is," so we'll just accept it being broken as a given and work around it. If you didn't short-circuit the line of thinking, you'd spend a ton of time on something that can't reasonably be fixed.
Believe A is true. And believe B is true. Also believe A and B cannot both be true at the same time. That is cognitive dissonance.
In this case it is "short circuited" aka bypassed by saying something dismissive. Doing so suggests there is nothing that can be done about the circumstances behind the dissonant ideas, so it's not worth thinking about.
I'm pretty sure cognitive dissonance is not what she thinks it is.
Cognitive dissonance means holding two completely contradictory opinions at the same time. You can't shortcut cognitive dissonance, I don't quite understand what that means.
In the field of psychology, cognitive dissonance is described as the mental discomfort people feel when their beliefs and actions are inconsistent and contradictory, ultimately encouraging some change (often either in their beliefs or actions) to align better and reduce this dissonance.
Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort, not the contradiction, and that can be avoided by not thinking about the contradiction.