Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.
Texas Prevents People From Owning More Than 6 Dildos. Now Lawmakers Want to Ban Sex Toys at Walmart.
Texas is the land where regulation is always second, or so they say. However, it’s also a state where politicians have chosen to regulate oddly specific...
First, they gave for the dildos, and I did nothing.
They came for the dildos….. and BOY did they came!!!
Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!
How were they enforcing this?
It's just a tack on when they do search warrants.. oh we did not find any drugs but we found 7 dildos.. Off to prison!
well hey you only have 3 holes to a person
What if you want to triple stuff?
You would not be in a state of Texas then
Policemen Josh and Wade showing up to a party:
Josh: "Alright Wade, let's make sure there are not more than 6 erections in there."
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I'd rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
What if it was a dildo-gun?
What part of 'shall not be infringed ' do you not understand!? 🤣
The lawmakers are afraid of the competition
Don’t want to start WWIII but even I and my fifty buttplugs were surprised to hear that WALMART was selling sex toys.
So its now illegal to have more than 6 bananas in your home in Texas?
Sigh, this is gonna be an awkward call to mom..
Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?
There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.
Have you seen their politicians?
those are just plain ol' dicks
Texas is ran by dildos so this is really just thinly veiled self preservation at this point
I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.
Ever bring a dildo to a gun fight?
No, but there was the time someone brought a dildo wielding drone to a campaign event and attacked the Bernallio county Sheriff with a “dongcopter.”
yea that'd be a rookie mistake
At first I was like "barbaric", but then I thought to myself that 6 dildos per person sounds abundant. I've decided to believe that they were about to fight an owner of 7 dildos and implemented that ban to reduce their power. Like "there are 7 of us and you have only 6 dildos what are you going to do" because the 7th dildo would be illegal.
And yes I know that the grounds of this ban are absurd and barbaric, I do wish hunger and pestilence upon those who voted it in, it's just that any discussion regarding it had to be hilarious. What are they trying to prevent by restricting the access to 7th dildo, gang wars?
It's virtue signaling. It implies that anyone who would use a dildo (gays, immoral women who actually enjoy sex) are Godless degenerates that need to be controlled by the state before they go on a rampage through town with all of their dildos!
Or rather, anyone who would use 7 dildos - lets not bundle up with those degenerates the God loving Christians that fight to protect the purity and sanctity of Gods children that do happen to rail themselves with 6 dildos every night. I'd love to know what kind of science they used to calculate that 6 is fine in the eyes of their maker. If you strip away the context of those ghouls pushing slowly and successfuly for eradication of your personal freedom, and just look at the depicted scene as is, it's pretty wacky.
Neo-puritanism needs to die. I'm getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control. We're done with this shit.
At least none of these people should be violent. They can have their views. But law is always violent. So it has no business being an extension of anyone's sexual views. If you violently impose your sexual perspective on others you are as good as a rapist in my book.
I'm getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control.
Only 33% of the US voting population actually voted against Trump who ran on a platform of control. You might be putting too much faith in the general population.
Ted Cruz ran out and is trying to hoard them all for himself.
He is a dildo after all
Ran out? Does he know they are supposed to come out as well as go in?
As a non-carbon based extraterrestrial lizard alien, he consumes the soft supple rubber that many dildos are made of as a form of sustenance.
Roflmfao!!!!!!
Guilty as charged!
Imagining muffled cackles from a chamber of dildos
I'm gonna buy a new one tomorrow for shits and giggles. 🤪
I would never have thought to go to walmart to buy a sex toy if I hadn't seen them somewhat prominently displayed on my way towards the vitamin aisle.
Don't most people just buy them online anyway? How the fuck would they even enforce this? The whole thing is a joke.
It's more of an excuse to pile more charges onto the types of people they don't like.
While already in the house to investigate something (real or made up) it gives them an excuse to look through their underwear trying to find excuses to charge them.
They're criminalizing things more likely to be owned by people they're trying to cleanse. Maybe cops show up and find you've exceeded your government allotted sex toy limit... would you lose your job? Your kids? Do you even call the cops? Do you hide the dildos in a gun safe and leave the guns out, to make the cops happy?
The solution is clearly to set up sex toy libraries.
...They would never interfere with libraries, right?
What about a service where you could rent sex toys through the mail? They would never interfere with mail delivery, right?
There are definitely some Texas billionaires that own more than six politicians.
This has very strong “If I can’t make my wife come, nobody will
cumcome!” vibes.I think it’s got religious overtones. One per day except the sabbath, when you have to leave your holes free for God to enter. Like Mary did.
Didn't cheat on her husband at all
Why are so many people using them in Walmart?
People like to sample the produce as they shop, granted it's usually a bag of crisps or a handful of grapes but it's the same... ballpark.
I usually munch on a crisp refreshing onion while shopping.
Long queues, nothing else to do…..
Makes sense to me.
The great Republican war on orgasms have begun.
They've been stopping orgasms from happening for a long time.
Begun? Texas has always had a war on dildos.
Yet, they keep voting for one as governor. 🤔
Yay! More small government and freedom!
Small enough to fit in your underwear drawer!
Small government (for businesses) and freedom (to be a certain type of Christian)
Will United Healthcare cover dildos if they are for medicinal purposes?
I am told Vibrators were invented to combat female hysteria.
These early vibrators became popular among the medical profession and were used for treating a wide variety of ailments in women and men including hysteria, arthritis, constipation, amenorrhea, inflammations, and tumors;
ROFL I need 6 because of... uh.... constipation!
Is there a limit on total footage? Does a double ended dildo count as two? Is a Christmas tree of dicks ok since it's more than 6, but is Christian?
Christmas tree dildos you say?
I assume a menorah of dildos is out.
I dunno, are the Christmas tree dicks circumcised?
I don't know how to make a quote line but this one stood out to me and made me laugh.
"Parents do not consent to their children being exposed to obscene devices while shopping for toothpaste."
What stores sell toothpaste next to adult toys?
Funny how they use the word "consent" here that is usually used by progressive people to advocate for safe sex. This is surely done on purpose. To make it sound like seeing dildos in the store is something close to sexual harassment.
Funnily enough, they frame it as sexual harassment against the adults. As in "now I have to explain my child about sex toys". And completely ignore the children's perspective. If there was any risk in seeing sex toys, the children would be much more prone to getting "damaged", as they are children. But since when do "conservatives" even care about the health and safety of children?
The parents should be very well able to deal with seeing sex toys. They are adults after all.
The children will not care about just seeing the sex toys. The biggest risk is that the parents scare them with a bad explanation, and then when they get older they will be scared of sex or think they need to do some things they don't want to.
Maybe they were talking about those vibrating obscene electric toothbrushes
That quote reminded me of this funny commercial https://youtu.be/_hgN4Fqulmw
My local supermarket has sex toys on upper shelves in the family planning section, which is in the healthcare department. They don't look like dongs, so people shouldn't recognize what they are unless they know about them already. But kids might still ask their parents what that is on the shelf, and that is apparently worse than school shootings.
Yeah but have you considered that vibrators are very likely causing school shootings?
Vibrator goes brrrrrrr
Gun goes brrrrrr
Do you see the pattern?
The Meijer I shop at regularly has vibrators in the same aisle as toothpaste, might be the next aisle over but they're real close to each other.
I’m guessing that part is performative. I doubt there are dildos for sale at Walmart.
Oh, I am just
cleaningholding all those for a friend.Like a car, they need to go for a ride every now and then, else they break.
For a friend, of course.
This is disrespectful to George Washington the founder of America who was mostly Dicks.
I heard that motherfucker had like... 30 god-damned dicks.
I heard he was six foot eight and weighed a fucking ton.
Link for the uninitiated - https://youtu.be/qv6OOuPI5c0
I think you're referring to the wooden dildos he stuffed his mouth with. Back then, there was no such thing as silicone.
Yes. Texas bans the possession of or promoting use of more than six dildos.
It does make exceptions for people who have the multiples of the device for medical and law enforcement purposes.
Lmao. Police officers can legally use an array of didos for 'law enforcement'.
You'll be arrested if you cheer them on for it tho...
BUT if you can prove it's medically necessary; you're welcome to have a cornucopia of rubber cocks.
UHC denied my claim for my medically necessary dildo.
I think the DOJ needs to investigate how exactly the police in Texas have been using dildos in the performance of their duties...
They need to keep them on hand in case they find one and need to plant 6 more.
"Come out with your hands up or we send in the dildos!"
Suddenly the kidnappers realised they'd brought guns to a dildo fight and surrendered.
I have loose bowels, I need 7 dildos to plug it and stop my anal leakage.
How...how are they enforcing this?
Its something to charge you with when the cops go on a fishing expedition at your house for weed or whatever else.
Its just a punishment law that cops get to use at their discretion totally fairly.
At least they can fuck themselves while they're at it I guess
Wouldn't surprise me if they treat toys like Sudafed. Gotta flash your ID to buy one.
So... are there like, auditors? Does the government pay someone to go around and inventory peoples' sex toys? Do you have to register your devices? Are they serialized? Do you have to report them on your state tax return?
Who are these
peoplewhackjobs that spend so much time thinking about what other people are doing in their bedrooms?If you want an example of what enforcement of this looks like, take a look at Iran's morality police. That is the end game for these kinds of laws.
If you get caught, just say its The Salad Mixxxer.
Sounds like the government wants to hoard most of the dildos to go fuck themselves. 🍆
The One Star State is at it again. "Freedom" there is not really a thing since the government obviously owns the citizens.
This doesn't effect me, I don't shop at Walmart or have more than six holes.
Arguably, if you also count holes in your head, you should get to 7 even as a guy:
- 2 nostrils
- 2 ears
- mouth
- urethra
- anus
Did I forget any?
Actually, do ear plugs count as dildos too? I think you can buy them in boxes of 10 usually. That seems kinda much under this new law.
I find your erasure of burn victims and other with atypical anatomy very ableist.
I also never claimed to be human.
Let me introduce you to the all new Belly Button Plug, to get you to seven.
Besides banning the sale of sex toys, the Texas Obscenity Statute also specified the number of “obscene devices”—for example, dildos—a person could own: six. The number was not chosen at random, but rather because lawmakers assumed that people who owned more than six obscene devices that were identical or similar had the intent to distribute them.
Theoretically, it should be possible to have more than six obscene devices without by guilty of intending to supply them - cock ring, butt plug, fleshlight, dildo, strap-on, inflatable sheep, Ben Wa balls, nipple clamps and penis cage. All have different uses, all without intending to supply.
If supply was the concern (although I don't know why), perhaps criminalise that not the bottom drawer of my bedside table.
Also ear plugs.
Fine. I'm a defender of gun rights. No more than six or you intend to distribute. Let's rock.
If supply was the concern (although I don’t kmoe why)
There is no crime in America greater than unapproved economic activity.
Ironic, since unrestricted economic activity is the foundation of Adam Smith's capitalism.
Ah so it’s basically like with drugs. Once you have more than a personal amount it’s possession with intent to distribute.
A personal amount is limited to one light evening alone as well.
IANAL, but this law is (probably) not currently enforceable due to (among others) Lawrence v. Texas.
However, that was explicitly named as being on the chopping block, so at best it's "not enforceable yet"
You said "anal". Heh!
Great, now where am I gonna find BestValue dildos
To Target we go!
Rules for thee but not for me, eh Sen. Cruz?
Need to make a proposal to limit cross walls to a maximum of 6 crosses.
Hairbrush and shampoo bottle sales about to go through the roof.
shampoo bottle
And yet they have such unearned pride as a bastion of freedumb.
Someone needs to make a Swiss army dildo.
That still only counts as one!
Well fuck me, I give up!
They'll have to come and take them from my cold dead pu-... wait..
Oh, good. Bob is still safe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZkTd2-dAE (or your friendly privacy friendly service preferably)
