Old game called "Altered Beast". You could transform into a few different beasts. Classic side-scrolling game.

Along the same lines, WIN 2? I have one and I love it for what it is.

This kinda happened to me. College graduation day, I walked, entitling was going well. Later I get an email from the school saying I didn't graduate because I didn't take a "cultural appreciation" class.

That possibly explains one murder, but what about the other two? Unless they all played a part in the heinous act...

Would you kindly take this golf club.

One would hope that a message THAT tone deaf wouldn't have even made it to the keyboard before realizing what a catastrophically bad idea it was.

Spoiler warning

I never played it, but the second Jedi Survivor game has a fight against Vader, but not at your main character. You win in the fight, then the cutscene makes you lose. It's played off as a "close loss", but it's disappointing when you can no-hit the boss and lose for story reasons.

As the founding fathers intended.

And that man will wear that name with pride for the rest of his life.

It gets really funny when you start seeing scientific notation with e to the nth power. You can even go past that and just display an error. It can take minutes for it to tally even at the highest speed. Super satisfying to listen to and watch happen.

That's a thing for many of these comics. They usually incorporate some (often stereotypical) flavor to the characters, usually writing the text as though they were speaking English but with an accent from their native tongue.

Dogpile all the way.

I was gonna mention Fixed Odds since it's also craftable, but then you mentioned "no dungeons". Unwavering Duty is from trials, so it's probably also a no-go. Avalanche is sadly tied to the Christmas event. Iron Banner just ended, or you could've also tried for Archon's Thunder. The other reply mentioning the Thermal Erosion from Europa is probably your best bet.

As someone from the east side of the state, it definitely fits. Friends joke that I live in West Idaho.

Horse is pissed off you were late.

As a parent, sometimes it's a hope, not a lie.

Jessie's left pant leg.

Where we're going, we won't need pants. Hospital gowns are very freeing.

I have a small laptop by the name of GPD WIN 2. It's about the size of a Nintendo DS, touchscreen, keyboard, one USB-A and USB-C. Might suit your needs.

I get a TON of spam texts where they refer to me as "There". "There, we tried delivering your package but ran into trouble. Click this link to resend the package or it will go back to the sender" etc etc.