white text on yellow background, that's infuriating
I had to zoom in on my phone just to be able to read that!
When you're actually using the app instead of having the compression artifacts of being screenshot several times, it's not as bad.
I don't care if you're watching it in 32k on Odin's personal account, white on yellow is NEVER acceptable for ANYTHING.
It assails the eyes.
It doesn't make it less of a crime against good design. Low contrast for reading is bad practice.
If someone does not take the least amount of effort to answer a simple question like that one .... then he doesn't care about you in the slightest.
"But its a generic question!"
Two words: common courtesy.
People (guys usually) also answer like this when they are trying to tell you exactly what you want to hear so that you'll sleep with them. They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they've lost their chance. It's a very manipulative mindset. He was like a deer in the headlights, not knowing if any answer he gave would be the right answer since he doesn't know her at all yet. So he stalls, hoping she'll drop it.
Or he might just be an idiot.
Either way, drop them and move on to somebody who will be real with you.
In other words, playing games, i.e trying to "tick her funne bone" so he gets someone else to play instead of himself. But what most of those guys fail to acknowledge is that "tickling her funne bone" takes time -- it's not a "free pussy pass" of any sort that you "say it", and she goes "WHOOAAA fuck me mister! Fuck me right NOW!". That is not "acting tough" or smart, but acting like a douche.
Yeah, that was my thought as well. This is the type of person who is only going to say something of they think it will impress you. The second possibility is that they will share nothing of themselves, period. In either case, they don't seem like good relationship material.
What he gave was the wrong answer IMO.
They feel like if they give any wrong answer early on, they’ve lost their chance.
To be fair, that's usually correct. Women have their pick of men, generally. If a guy answers a band she doesn't like, most likely she'll move on.
So guys lie and tell her everything she wants to hear. And then once they get their foot in the door, they can start telling the truth.
This guy handled it very badly but I can see why he didn't want to answer.
Nah it's one of those things where some guys just prefer to talk about what they think matters to everyone, their job or financial conditions, music or other personal stuff might just be an extra on their minds
So an idiot.
If someone asks you about your taste in music, then clearly music matters to them.
It's kind of nice when people reveal themselves to be insufferable douchebags at the outset rather than wasting your time.
her persistence indicates he is physically attractive
As my wife will tell you, there are benefits to being married to an insufferable douchebag. Chiefly, you can be pretty confident they won't play around on you, because no one else will have them.
He has a valid point there. If he doesn't want to say , you keep talking the same shit and expect a different answer?
Not wanting to answer a question is fine, but doing that by just being pretentious isn't a good way of going about it. Being forthcoming about not really wanting to talk about your music preferences is fine, changing the subject politely is also fine so you don't leave the onus of carrying conversation entirely on the other person.
Acting like your music choices are too out there for anyone else to understand is a good way to not have them relate to you in any way.
As a dude...
Dude...
Id say she got to know just about eveything she needed to know about this person.
This is so weird. The first response was somewhat acceptable if in a joking manner but then he quintuple downed.
Someone's insecure about his Shakira collection.
Seriously though, I'm guessing this guy either doesn't like music at all (I've known a few and they act like this) or got made fun of a lot for his music tastes in high school. It's a shame this guy is probably a walking insecurity.
Which is a great reason to unmatch him and move on.
I didn’t even know it was humanly possible to not like music at all. What were they like? Like their personalities? Did they seem sociopathic or were they generally “normal”?
I used to not like music at all and 15 year old me would have probably responded just like this guy. But for me it was more that I didn't know what I liked until I heard it. Everyone around me exclusively listened to top 40 and RnB, or techno/house. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me cos I hated everything I heard. And then I heard metal for the first time, and everything changed.
My father in law doesn't like music. He doesn't dislike it either, he's just indifferent. Apart from that he's just your garden variety somewhat-curmudgeonly 80-year-old dude.
There's a lot of good examples in the comments, but the few Ive ran into were more indifferent thsn anything - like, they never heard anything that appealed to them. One guy I knew actively avoided music because it'd get stuck in his head and drive him nuts.
They seemed normal otherwise, for the most part. But they knew that disliking music was weird and were a little insecute about it.
I don't dislike music, but I do view it as something very situational. I only listen to music when I'm going somewhere by bike or foot or when I'm working out. I blame my 4 years of being a mail carrier for creating this 1 to 1 connection between moving and listening to music. I never put on music when I'm home. But I dislike 'background' anything in general. I've never in my life put on a movie, TV show or podcast as 'something to listen to in the background'. That's baffling to me. Music is the same I guess. If I'm home it's automatically background because I'm not gonna sit om my couch and stare at a wall while I listen to music. While if I'm working out or going somewhere I can intentionally listen.
early shakira songs in spanish are the bomb though, look up her mtv unplugged album
Oh absolutely, no shade on Shakira at all. Just using her as an example of something a guy might be insecure about - which is of course, stupid. Don't be insecure about liking music, folks.
ayooo whenever, wherever is 🔥🔥🔥 fr fr on god no cap fam
Yeah this is like the people who would answer “radio” back in the day, when asked what their favourite music was ._.
I used to share my music taste quite openly but these days not so much. Sharing stuff just gives some people more ammo to shoot you with when they want to try hold shit over your head
Bro doing "being mysterious" the wrong way
Bro is being long term single if this is his game.
That yellow background is so unreadable 🍌
What confuses me is why they chose to use white text there... surely the orange background is bright enough for black text to be far easier to read?
Yes, this is 100% black text material. Like it's not even a question lol.
How do you read light yellow text on darker yellow background?
Once life has given you enough lemons, you become really good at discerning shades of yellow.
It's kinda the prerequisite to getting into online dating
Sounds like urine trouble to me
One word at a time
With sunglasses like everyone else. Duh
Yeah someone crosspost this on c/fraccessibility
"It's something you've never heard of"
"How do you know?"
"...because I'm never going to tell you about it"
Maybe it's just a super closely guarded musical secret he has to keep. The cabal of music keepers does not take blabbermouths lightly
Hammerfall. That is all.
Technically the truth
This is literally out of these incel playbooks. Straight up tater tot bullshit lmao.
The whole conversation is a facepalm. This should have been 3 lines:
"What's the last song you saved?"
'I am not comfortable sharing that information with you'"Okay, if you're aren't willing to let me get to know your basic interests clearly this isn't the kind of relationship I'm looking for. Good luck and have a nice day" [ends transmission]
That sure would be nice but that pesky ego/personality is a tough one to ignore.
I personally found that a lot of the women I talked to on dating apps acclimate themselves by becoming more jaded, sarcastic etc as a defense.
Can’t blame em haha
If only people were straight forward and detached.
Fantasy: "This relationship is not working out anymore, it is time for a break up/ divorce so we can move on with our long term lives in a more positive way."
"Yes I agree let us proceed forward in a calm and reasonable manor with no screaming or anger. We shall split assets in a fair and non-childish way."
"Okay I will be staying in another house/motel until the house is sold, have a good one"
"You too!"
Reality: 5 hours of incoherent scream fighting, crying and baseless threats followed by another 5 hours of passionate makeup sex
I've never had such an annoying color combination for a text message.
Incidentally I just tried banana soylent and it’s pretty good.
I passed this post like 5 times before I read it for this reason
It’s from bumble. That’s their colors
You know... It's seeing this type of stuff I'm so happy I found my wife the old fashioned way before dating apps existed.
I am also happy that my marriage was arranged.
I found my spouse through a dating app, but we matched up really well since neither of us like this kind of shitty small talk.
If I were that lady I'd boot the hell outta that dude, such a prick.
It can work. I used a dating website (pre smartphone) and I just put in a photo of myself sitting at my computer and a list of bands and movies I liked. My wife approved and asked me out on a date.
"Why do girls keep ghosting me? I'm such a nice guy! Bohooohoooo"
You don't want to date that guy, let the process work.
Bro was probably listening to that "Anime Thighs" song from a few years back 💀
If you're talking about Ken Ashcorp's "Absolute Territory", that song goes super hard. Just don't pay attention to the lyrics, lol.
I'm talking about the song by MC Virgins
I've had that song in my regular playlist for years and only learned what the lyrics were about when someone told me. It's such a banger that I never stopped to actually listen to the words for at least two years lol
Great freaking song. Listened to it after reading this comment, and it goes hard.
haha yeah that song
do you uh happen to have a link
nono, I want to watch it ironically, my interest absolutely wasn't piqued by "anime thighs"
Please use headphones. https://youtu.be/pT5hdqzvrxc
Time to move to the next chat.
Online dating is one of the most exhausting experiences of my life.
He's thinking "what does music have to do with me getting sex as quickly s possible?"
If he’s wondering that he’s an idiot
If it is any consolation for them, they definitely learned everything they needed to know.
"It's just this old Papa Roach song, you've probably never heard of them. I'm just really unique like that."
What a cornball.
Sounds like my son. He hates sharing his music no matter what it is. Same with videos. It's so stupid. Just tell me and move on why is the 21 pilots song you're listening to need to be top secret.
This is not a comment on you, but I do the same thing and have come to realize it's at least in part a response to being judged in some way (or feeling judged at least) over things I shared with my family, so now I just don't share.
If it's important to you, it might be worth having a conversation about why they are withholding and, if it's for similar reasons, addressing why they feel that way and assuring them you'll do your best to keep them from feeling bad about sharing.
I keep trying and always assure him just interested in his life and never will judge him for his taste in stuff. I mean we enjoy shows and movies together and we play games together. But YouTube videos and music he won't share.
Music and entertainment tastes in general tend to be quite personal, so it's probably a bit of insecurity. He'll get over it, just explain that it's not a test, you're just chatting. Maybe share some of yours first or something
It's really weird to me. As a teen I loved telling the world what I was listening because it was obviously the best thing on earth, man.
Cuz kids don't like having their parents asking questions about their life... how is that even surprising to you? It's ok to ask but if they aren't forthcoming you can't just say it's stupid. That's how you get a kid to start doing things secretly.
Sigh I wished my parents took an active roll in my life. Guess I projecting. Was just trying be a better parent than mine.
If he don't want to tell you then don't ask. It can be really annoying.
Yes, having someone who can't answer simple basic questions that won't affect them is really annoying.
It was Coldplay.
It was all yellow.
What I wouldn't give to see Patrick Bateman hacking Jared Leto to death while ranting about Coldplay.
This is a red flag. It means he listens exclusively to Nickelback and Creed.
Ugh, also u2
Biggest fucking red flag of all
Lmao, this is indeed a red flag, stay the fuck back haha
That's a flag I'd fly any day
Rebecca Black - Friday. He just doesn't want to own it.
GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY
I mean really, who isn't looking forward to the weekend, weekend
Sick reference, I hadn't thought of that song in years. She was bullied and harassed endlessly over it. Turns out it was just a relatively well produced amateur music video she did with her friends one day for fun. I always thought it was a poorly produced professional song/video being force fed to us. Felt real bad when I found that out, poor kid hope she's doing alright.
Laaame
Well, now she knows he's not worth the trouble of the first date.
It's probably CBAT or the 4kids Digimon opening
To play the devils advocate here, maybe music man has gotten ridiculed before with this question on his music preference. When I'm driving by myself, I'll fire up youtube and listen to all sorts of random stuff. But I'd never subject my wife to it as I know we don't share interest in some things.
Just lie then, what's the point of acting like this
Just lie then
Not an ideal in forming relationships. Honestly, as much of a train wreck as his response was, at least it gave some useful information to the person he would potentially be dating.
I'd think it would feel bad having to lie about the music you listen to. Maybe music man is already past denial and in acceptance, just not telling anyone.
But perhaps they're just a douche.
But how did you find out you have different tastes without first ever sharing your music tastes
That's the perfect moment to know if someone will ridicule you for your music choices. If it happens, you stop the conversation right there and save yourself the trouble of a awful first date.
Well, even saying that you can't remember the song because you snorted cocaine out of your adult diaper is better than being a jerk.
Even if that’s the reason, still, come on
So, if your wife asked as to whatever song your listening to is, you would react this way?
People don't respect the Colgate Comedy Hour anymore, this is why we don't have genius like Paul Bufano or Roy Donkins anymore. Her music collection must be all meat and potatoes.
My musical taste is cringe and my spouse has known it since we started dating years ago. Never felt the need to hide it from them. Good partners can respect each other's preferences, so there's zero need to hide what you enjoy.
You’ve presumably had conversations with your wife, though, where you shared, and she wasn’t into it. I dunno, at the least you were, perhaps, honest about not wanting to (or not being comfortable with) sharing.
Furthermore, it’s a song and she asked. No one is being subjected to anything. No one has to listen to the song named, or, if they do, even finish the song.
I would share my music taste more openly if the opportunity arose, but more often than not, I'm either out of data or the song on YouTube has gone (!)
But I bet she shares hers. Speaking from current experience
The app worked, you got to know her true colors rather quickly. Imagine putting up with passive aggressive shit like that your whole life, or even for a night.
His*
Lol it's interesting how a negative person in a conversation in text is often instantly assumed to be a woman's voice
Funny, I immediately assumed it was an insecure guy
even when the tweet that this screenshot came from is included and shows that it was posted by a woman
People do that when they don’t have an answer. I can’t remember the last song I’ve saved, for instance.
These people need to learn how to conversation then. Remember: it's not an interrogation or exam, you don't have to exactly answer the question as though you'll be flunked out of a class for the wrong answer. So:
"Oh man, I don't remember. But I really like x by y. What kind of music do you listen to?"
It's not that hard.
People do that when they don’t have an answer
People do that when they don't know the basics of interacting with another human being.
Just say whatever song you like. It's better than acting like a jerk. Even saying "I can't remember, I haven't heard a song in a long time" is better than being a jerk with a person you just met on a DATING APP.
I haven’t heard a song in a long time
That's a really funny way to phrase 'i'm not much of a music person".
I don't do that. Just tell the truth, no need to drag a question out like this, it's incredibly annoying. Just say you can't remember since it's all streaming now.
You gave a perfectly reasonable answer to the question in eight words. No evasion.
I agree, though he's still not a great conversationalist
I think with the horror show dating has become in general, people are becoming more and more afraid to be vulnerable in even the slightest perceived ways. 😞 There's a reason for the loneliness epidemic. Between mass narcissism and guttural fear of winding up with a person who will just use/abuse you, I'm shocked I haven't seen worse. 😐
Oddly enough, since I'm so used to being open when I'm ~anonynous on the internet, when I need a confidence push to be open with someone in person I just pretend I'm on the internet and they're a stranger, and bum bam wam suddenly I don't give a shit what they think of me & I can just speak comfortably
I can imagine it going that way, too. It really depends on the person. It's odd...we seem to have built this culture around distrust and winning at any cost and it feels good at first glance. Once you dig deeper, though, the whole thing is just ugly. If I lost my husband, I'd voluntarily choose to be alone. I'm not willing to have my heart torn out and having it used to beat me within an inch of my life. >_<
Holy shit, the head on this person must be as hard as Earth's core got dyam
Molten, mushy, and smooth?
Given this is online dating, possibly hot and dense. There's no smooth talk happening here.
Probably something like My Little Pony remix
If that person can't share music, god knows what else they can't share
This translates to "I do not have anything impressive to say off the top of my head and I'm panicking now"
Kudos to you for demonstrating interest in getting to know whoever you cross on these platforms (a rarity these days...) 🙌🏽
I relate to your discomfort. I usually unmatch or block such vibes bc the point of these apps is to date, which implies getting to know each other. If one is unwilling to put in the work (as minimal as it may seem), just spare folx who are interested in the above.
So much has changed in the dating scene. Sometimes, I am asked why I am being nosy or psychoanalyzing them. 🙄 Dude, you're on a dating app, right?
P.S.: I respect boundaries, but such questions are essential in familiarizing oneself with someone.
You use the term "you" a lot here. This is an old post, so you're not going to be talking to the actual person that experienced this
Is this real? That was painful to read.
“Anyway, how’s your day going?” “Why would I tell a stranger how my days going?”
"What time is it?" "Why would I tell a stranger the time?"
"Why would I answer a stranger asking me about a stranger asking about their day?"
It fucking happened to me, i asked that douche what he was doing in a day, just me being curious. Appearently i was jealous and trying to control him. Jesus fuck that kind of people, they are not worth it.
Haha I’m so edgy haha why do you want to know? Haha you probably wouldn’t even like it haha.
I’m not like other 25 year olds hahaha
A cloud of adjectives surrounding no noun.
I think white text on yellow background might be the most frustrating part.
High odds of a bot
Ugh that reminds me of trying to talk to a Replika. "I have a gift for you!" "Great, what is it?" "(Hands you a box)" "...cool so what's inside the box?" "Wouldn't you like to know!" "Umm. Yes. Yes I would like to know what's in the box you just gave me." ...and so on and so forth until I rage-quit the app. 😆
Anyone who can't answer a simple, innocent and curious question is not worth putting more effort into. That tells me that they prefer to be the one in control of the conversation and later, control of everything.
You definitely got to know them, they kinda suck tho.
Probably listening to Elliot Smith thinking it makes him unique somehow for having emotions.
don't be ridiculous, this guy doesn't have emotions.
or at least, he doesn't think he does.
Peak insecurity
Pretty sure it was Nickelback
How about the doo doo fighters
I bet it was this, they were just afraid of sharing this materpiece.
Haha that was great
That's probably the cbat dude after his gf left him.
I guarantee you that guy complains to his friends about how girls dont want to date him.
Just got a preview of what dating them would be like. Bullet dodged.
I would be likely to say that you may not like it/ I have an old person's music taste or something ONCE. It's stupid to keep saying it lol
Afraid to say, I don't get this. What app is it supposed to be? I don't remember what song I saved last. Am I supposed to admit that, or just name a song? Which person in the cartoon is supposed to be the annoying one? There both seem annoying to me. Yes the white on yellow is very hard to read. BTW I have no idea who Elliot Smith is.
You sound like yellow in this conversation, not understanding that dating is about getting to know someone from the outside in. You gotta start somewhere, like a favorite song. You can’t jump straight to childhood trauma or politics or something or it will never work. Trust takes time.
This looks to me like a dating app called bumble where, for man/woman matches, the woman is supposed to initiate the conversation.
You can check which song you last saved on Spotify (for example) by just looking at the top song on your liked songs, but the question is just to get to know each other; even a "i don't remember what song I saved last but I've been really interested in [so and so artist] lately" would be a totally sufficient answer.
Because of the extreme evasiveness, elitism and condescending tone of yellow, yellow is supposed to be the annoying one. In my opinion, white just seems to be trying to continue the conversation and encourage yellow to open up about their music tastes to get to know them.
Aha, so yellow is the guy in that convo. I hadn't seen bumble before. I don't use Spotify either, but I get the idea. Thanks.
The last music I downloaded was the entire album Raksha, by Bloodywood. The final song in the album would be Chakh Le, which is a really fun Indian metal song about rising up against the owning class
how do you do a cross post? I'm trying to cross post this to [email protected]
I think you can't, just copy this post and reference it in yours
Okay, so turns out you can just press the copy button that's available on the web interface and it kinda does it for you, with the attribution link. Yes, it took me two days because I was worried I would mess it up 🥺
Average Tinder conversation.
💀
I would leave a comment but you wouldn't understand
It was probably like Tame Impala or something lmao
Or maybe it was Baby Shark
Maybe he doesn’t have real ears and has to use prosthetic ears that make all music sound like brown noise and is too embarrassed to tell you about it.
The only thing that makes sense really.
Anyone else notice picture quality is bad on lemmy?
probably going to be different across servers (haven't confirmed) but many are using pictrs as part of Lemmy for image management. you can configure the details on how and at what quality they are stored. git is here: https://git.asonix.dog/asonix/pict-rs
I've actually found it to br far better than reddit, mostly because 99% of reddit posts these days are bot reposts of an jmage that's been cycled a LOT
Might be a repost of a repost of a message sent by text and recompressed at each step.
Try [email protected] and see if the image quality is fine there.
So, what was it then?
Why you wanna know?
"Fine... It's Imagine Dragon... These balls over your face! Eyyyyy!"
It would've at least given us closure.
Blocked
10:1 odds it was Yo La Tengo.
Patience is a virtue
someone who thinks way to highly of themselves
More like someone who struggles with social anxiety and low self-esteem
I’ll respond at least: Gossip Folks by Missy Elliot
Is it infuriating because of the yellow text on an orange background? Or is this when I find out I'm color blind?
my guess is they pirated it and suspect the other person is undercover police or so
Exactly, this is an undercover napster sting operation. He was listening in the Rebecca Black speakeasy.
I weep for the future of humanity.
I can see why they'd avoid sharing. It was... this song 😬:
What app is it anyway??
Looks like bumble.
So glad I'm not om that app anymore.
Do they not want sex?
People saying that the dude is messing it up clearly have no clue. He’s fishing for the kind of girl who’ll put out easily. See how much this person is clinging on to it, he’s a semipro player.
So you don't think just answering the question like a normal human being would of been the better way to have a conversation? It really doesn't sound like this is even working on her.
If he was looking for a healthy relationship then, yes. But clearly he’s looking for something toxic that would feed his depraved ego.
You're both terrible here.
If they don't want to tell you just drop it. They're an asshole for not sharing and you're an asshole for being persistent about something that doesn't matter
Nah looked to me more like they were pushing to see how he responded after what initially sounded pretty cringe and elitist, basically confirming the tone then handing him the shovel to keep digging deeper
Nah, he shouldn't be dating if he wants to keep his music taste a secret. Anyone who dates will get that sort of thing exposed.
That is a red flag for certain and asking about music is a important factor in dating. If you don't like the same type of music odds are not in favor of making a connection.
That's total bullshit, sorry.
I've had fantastic relationships with people who like music I hate, and bad ones with people who like the same genres as me.
You can't judge someone's personality by their music taste outside of it just being basic or not. Such a strange thing to hang your hat on.
The red flag is the mf trying to play "mysterious hipster" and just showing how fucking insufferable he is
Yeah that's absolutely a red flag, but not having the same music tastes doesn't mean shit in general.
I don't know that it's that big a factor, people can connect in different ways, but it can certainly be a spring board for getting to know someone and make a connection.
People who are single in the age of internet dating are single for a reason.
And that reason is EVERYONE ELSE IS WRONG AND I’M NOT GONNA SETTLE FOR THEM MOM
I'm kind of torn on this one. His way of dealing with the question was bad for sure but I don't like sharing my personal tastes at first either because I'm insecure…
"oh my god just tell me damn"
That's where they lost the right of it. It becomes a legitimate question why the hell they want to know so much.
Both come as self-entitled 1st wordlers.
Ah, so people are still trying online dating. Curious.
Met my wife online, though not on a dating app. It's not all hopeless!
Good for you! I wish you both happiness.
Granted this was 6 years ago, but I met my now fiancée on bumble. It might be worse now, not sure
Congratulations on your engagement!
It's the best way to find a partner.
And it's basically the norm, like someone said. Been like that for many years.
