Fight me.

This has been solved they are both calzones. https://cuberule.com/

I find that system inconvenient, as it does not inform me of how I should eat any given item. Classification for the purpose of classification is insufficient. However, an alternative that allows me to prepare my ustensils based on the classification is useful, and therefore I propose...

Soup, salad, and sandwich are the three states of food, and they can go through phase transitions. They are closely accompanied by spoon, fork, and knife, respectively.

A soup is any food that requires a spoon, and thus includes soups, drinks, cereal with milk, etc. Tipping a container is merely the use of the container as a large and unwieldy spoon, a straw is similarly a spoon when its topology is combined with suction.

A salad then is anything bite sized that can be forked, and one's hands are little more than fleshy forks, the fingers prehensile tines. Popcorn, salads, cut up steak bites, a handful of cheerios, etc.

A sandwich is anything that requires it to be cut in order to be consumed, and one's incisors are merely built-in knives. A sandwich is thus the vast majority of the cube rule's content, and only because the cube rule focuses on the physical location of the starch. This is, of course, entirely irrelevant when it comes to the consumption of food.

To observe a phase transition, one can cut up a sandwich without consuming it, thereby turning it into a salad; can drown a salad to turn it into a soup; can freeze a soup to turn it into a sandwich, etc.

Shredded cheese is a salad.
- While I think your system allows for some really odd edge cases, I like the way you think.
- https://saladtheory.github.io/
- I mostly agree with these broad level classifications, except for sandwich. A sandwich refers to the construction (something sandwiched between something else) and also the intended method of consumption (no utensils and rarely a napkin). By your classification a 32oz steak is a sandwich, yet it must be consumed quite differently than an ice cream sandwich.
  
  I'd change the sandwich category to be the chunk category, and have sandwiches as a subcategory of chunks and salads where the food comes surrounded by edible material that's easy to handle without utensils.
  
  There's also the group of very thin soups that might deserve it's own group, but that might just be a qualitive difference.
I don’t understand how pumpkin pie is toast, but cheesecake is a quiche. Shouldn’t they be the same whichever they are?
- It's hard to tell whether the difference is that the pumpkin pie crust is "slanted" while the cheesecake crust is vertical, or that the pumpkin pie is a single slice while a "quiche"-topology cheesecake is intended to be eaten whole.
- Don't forget that sliced pie is a taco to add more confusion!!!!!!
I love that under this system the popular examples of type 4 'sushi' includes no sushi, unlike type 1. That and in the process of eating something can cause it to change type.
- the process of eating something can cause it to change type.
  
  Process of eating and perspective.
  
  Beef Wellington:
  To the chef: Calzone
  To the diner: Sushi
- It's a good system, we should adopt it for all foods
Sane, rational, and consistent. I love it. At the same time: this is absolutely going to start fights.
I love this so much.

I like this statement because it’s successful on two levels. You can also argue over whether “pop-tart” counts as one word or two.

It is also a calzone.
- It's neither a calzone nor a ravioli. Pop tarts have pastry crusts. Calzones use a leavened crust, and ravioli have pasta crusts.
- Hmmm id say a canzone is a dumpling, because it's folded over on itself.
PopTart is a brand and is one word.
- It’s the internet. People will argue with you even when you’re demonstrably right.
Def 2 words!
- Blueberry is two words now apparently.

Salsa is fruit salad.

Salsa is a spicy smoothie
Pico de gallo maybe
I've never had a fruit salad with the consistency of salsa, but I see where you're coming from. They are very close relatives.
Nah, this is just objectively wrong. Even if you think of tomato as a fruit, what else is a fruit in typical salsa? Nothing.
- Not a staple where I'm from, but aren't there japalenos in there? Bell peppers ?
New York City?!
Not salad, salad is something you can "toss" in a jumble, like popcorn or some kinds of hash browns.

Salsa is generally more thoroughly mixed than that, so smoothie or maybe soup.
- Hash browns are salad, confirmed.

Your kids are poorly behaved

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

I'd argue the way that ramen noodles are made is different enough. Spaghetti is just flour, water, and salt whereas ramen noodles can have an alkaline process (kansui) among other things. Spaghetti is also one type of noodle whereas ramen is a category with a fair bit of variety.
- Weebs aren't people
But that is true

Star Wars is for kids.

Star wars is about Jedi.
Honestly anything about Star Wars will start an argument these days. The fans are really divided.
- No they're not
- I got one that will unite them tho and I stand by this one.
  
  Jar Jar's a great character.
Well then you are lost!

Windows user freedom > Linux

Ads have saved the internet

Valve games suck

Rs3 is better than osrs

Cybersecurity Professionals are mostly useless

I don't believe all of these but I do know they would start a fight with at least me.

I hope you stub your toe every morning
Those statements are great for starting fights because there's an element of truth to them.

Except the one about Valve games. If I get the apartment above yours in hell I will be moving furniture every day for that statement.
XML is better than JSON

React is better than jQuery
- How is the second one in any way controversial? React is a huge part of the reason why jQuery is much less of a thing than it was ~10 years ago
Windows user freedom > Linux

I genuinely do not know how anyone could say this and not be trolling. Of course you don't believe it, but I genuinely cannot see how anyone could
- You can install more things.
Last one is true..

Sincerely, mostly useless security professional.

Tool is overrated

I wanna downvote you so bad but it wouldn't be right
Come at me
They said "start a fight", not "speak basic truths"

Raviolo

I bring this up every time with someone who eats a panino for lunch!

You lost the Game.

You monster!
Well played. But also fuck you. 😀
Damn. You broke my longest streak since learning about the Game.

Cereal is a soup

Vanilla soy bean latte is a three bean soup.
- Except coffee is a fruit.
Ketchup is a smoothie
- A hotdog is a sandwich?

Hot pockets are strombolis.

The creator correctly says "jif"

It's an acronym standing for graphic interchange format. Not that I care all that much tbh. Reminds me of parents naming their kid cVIIItlyn. Sure you can pronounce it whatever you want, doesn't make you any less stupid. Also, iirc it was invented by a team, what do the rest of them say?
- Only one guy is listed as the creator, Steve wilhite, who says "jif" is correct, famously and infamously making the pronouncement with a gif when he received his lifetime achievement award haha.
  
  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBtKxsuGvko
  
  Apparently, a common joke around his office was "choosy developers choose gif", a play on jif commercials.
- It’s an acronym standing for graphic interchange format.
  
  That doesn't affect how it's pronounced.
  
  LASER stands for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. If you were going to pronounce it based on how those words are pronounced it would be "Lahseer".
  
  The best reason to pronounce "gif" with a hard g is that the closest word we have is "gift" and that uses a hard g.
Isn’t there a video/gif asking if it’s pronounced “birthday jift”, “jolden retriever”, etc?
- Gee, I'm sure there's some genuinely genius gentleperson who registered their generous gif genuflections.

Your lifestyle causes climate change.

Sadly disqualified, objective facts and reality have been deemed political.

Pop tarts are wellingtons

all kind of fermented food is expired produces.

love me some spoiled wheat soup
All fermented foods are alcoholic.
- Cheese and yoghurt are fermented foods, as is all bread but unleavened.
Fermentation is just rotting with style. Delicious, though.

Is a hotdog a sandwich?

I thought about this a lot recently after someone said it, ::: spoiler my opinion is that No, a hotdog is not a sandwich because it is meat inside of a single piece of bread. If you accidentally broke the bun into two pieces you could argue that you've made a hotdog sandwich because the meat is still called a hotdog and you've got two pieces of bread. That some sub sandwiches are a single nearly split piece of bread I view as an implementation detail moreso than a defining characteristic and not enough to say that sandwiches can be a single piece of bread. :::

It’s a taco.
- That’s a type of sandwich
  
  Like a hot dog or cuban
Is Subway not a sandwich then if the bread isn't split into two pieces?
- Sub bread is often split. It's just the type of roll used. I'd consider Hot Dogs a small sub or hoagie, just like a sausage, peppers and onions hoagie.
- It’s a sub
Open face sandwich.
- Hoagie, po' boy, hero, grinder.
  
  Lots of split bread or one bread sandwiches.
Sometimes if I only want a small sandwich I just use one slice of bread folded over itself. Is that not a sandwich then?
- In my opinion, no. I've alerted the sandwich police.
- That's a sanga
Reminds me of “The Cube Rule”, which argues that a hot dog is a taco!
The existence of "open faced" sandwiches makes your argument invalid.
- Those are actually hot dogs
Their seems to be no end to the sandwich debate but I want to point out that their are many sandwich, hot dog included where the bread is not separated. I would said a sandwich is made of two parts. That includes separated sandwich like club sandwich, and non-separated sandwich like baguette sandwich or hot-dog.
One could argue that bread slices are a loaf that was split/divided.
- I'm calling a slice something that makes the bread into two pieces and a split something that opens it up while still being one piece.