My pro-Trump family found out that I voted for Harris and now my brother is openly threatening to kill me. How do I get out ASAP?
My pro-Trump family found out that I voted for Harris and now my brother is openly threatening to kill me. How do I get out ASAP?
I (21M) live in an Ohio household of hardcore Trumpers who, unfortunately, found out that I voted for Kamala Harris.
My father and brother are fascists. They believe in killing anyone who disagrees with Trumpism. My mother is not violent, but drank basically all the QAnon Kool-Aid and is batshit insane.
I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight. I also can't safely lift anything that's heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.
I am also financially-dependent on my mother at the moment.
We moved to a new house recently, and the walls are very thin. That allowed me to overhear a private conversation between my father and brother.
My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say "Sure."
My brother is in peak physical condition. He owns guns and has military training. I had long suspected that he is the biggest potential threat to my life, but gaslighted myself into thinking I was overreacting. Today, he confirmed it.
My brother isn't the type to throw out threats of violence willy-nilly. He has also physically abused me in the past when we were younger and has major anger issues. I believe that I have to take this threat seriously, and that means that I need to evacuate ASAP. I think the most likely day for him to act is on election night or shortly after, which would give me just over a week. But then again, I can't be sure. Maybe he is planning a surprise.
My mother is too unreasonable to take any of this seriously.
I have a few thousand dollars and Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don't know for sure if they will, since we're not close emotionally. I also don't know if my brother will go out of his way to target them once he notices my absence. He is going to an out-of-state Trump rally this week, so I know that he doesn't have much trouble crossing state lines.
I don't know where my birth certificate and social security card are, other than that my mother has them somewhere. My father is home the entire time and stays in one spot where he can see everything. Even if I knew where they were, there is no way for me to retrieve them without him noticing.
Fuck fascism. I was born to a family of vile abusive sociopaths. It was hell the whole time. I won't miss any of them. Fuck them. They are a disappointment to the rest of my family line. I spent my entire life learning how to become a decent human being in spite of it all and now the fuckers want me dead. FUCK. THEM.
The thing that separates me from the rest of my family is empathy. I refused to hate the people they wanted me to hate. Instead, I listened to their stories and befriended them. I care about everyone, not just straight white Christians. I voted for Harris because I wanted the best for everyone, which means preventing the installation of an authoritarian regime. And for that, I must pay the ultimate price.
I may never get to experience love or deep friendship, but no matter how this all ends, I vow to spend the rest of my days pouring out as much love and joy as I can out to every last ally I meet.
Any advice would be helpful. I don't want to wait, but I also can't do this without some kind of plan. I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing, so any input is appreciated.
Thank you.
This reads as a shitpost, but I'll advise on the chance it isn't and you're in a crazy deadly situation.
Make a show of applying for remote Jobs ASAP, do it tomorrow. Dress up nice for the "E-meetings", and then hop in discord or something with a friend and have an "Interview" that goes well.
Then, explain to your family that you need to submit documents to HR to complete onboarding. Get ALL your personal documents in hand, and then ride off into the sunset away from them.
At the very least it's a copy paste from a popular reddit post, and it indeed reads like a shitpost that combines every single trope...
If you're as disabled as you say and either you have documentation (such as state benefits) or it's just obvious I would try APS (adult protective services) over the cops. Things will move faster and more effectively if you do some of the legwork (hypothetically speaking) for them ahead of time.
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Get in touch with the family that might take you in. Try to find three options who confirm they will take you. Write down or keep in a Google doc or whatever their: full names, phone numbers, email addresses, and physical addresses. The number one thing I see holding up cases like yours is housing, and if you have all those details worked out ahead of time a caseworker can do a lot more for you a lot faster. A lot of the time our psych social workers can get someone a uber / lyft or bus ticket easily enough, the problem is figuring out where they're going. If you have the contact info of someone they can call right there and then who has already agreed to take you, you are a slam dunk open and shut case. Get three so you have backups.
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Arrange for a ride locally such as a friend or acquaintance or literally anyone else who has a car and is willing to help you for 24-48 hours. This should not be hard to talk someone into. Many people want to help a person like you but don't have the resources to house someone for weeks or months. For this acquantaince you are an easy way to help and feel good about themselves. Use that. Tell them to wait for you to contact them. Again, try to get three options set up so you have two failsafes.
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AFTER you've done that, call your local APS (adult protective services) or file a report online. Do whatever you can to keep your family from knowing you called because it might take a few hours up to maybe even a day or two for them to get to you and you don't want your family tipped off in the meantime. Tell them you're being held by your family and kept from accessing your legal identifying documents like your birth certificate. If you get state benefits your documentation or papers regularly mailed to you may also have a compliance / abuse reporting hotline number somewhere on it. You could also try a crisis hotline through an organization that does community outreach. Tell them they have abused you in the past and you are in fear for your life. Tell them you HAVE A PLACE TO GO you just need help getting your documents. Again, you are easy to help in this situation, they don't need to worry about setting you up with benefits or housing or anything, just transport maybe. This is what the numbers and addresses are for, they may want to confirm you have somewhere to go and even have options. Just play up the danger and that they're keeping you from your documents. If you get an asshole worker wait six hours and try again (change of shift) or try calling a different agency or the next town over. You may also be able to find other places to call or worst case scenario call 911.
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The SECOND they show up and if they're able to get you those documents, get the hell out to that person who's helping you locally and block your family and do not tell or hint or give them any other indication of where you're going. Don't even tell the person giving you a ride if you think it will get back to them. If necessary tell them an entirely different final destination and just get them to get you to the airport / bus terminal and get out.
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while you're waiting, get all your medications, medical equipment / supplies, any valuables or sentimental items, and 3-5 changes of clothes all in the same area of the house. Make sure to pack sentimental clothing but especially pack accessible clothing that's easy for you to dress yourself with. Get them into a bag if you think you can do so discreetly, but a box or even just a pile in an out of the way corner is fine. If you have any special skin safe shampoo or other non-medicine but important toiletries stash them too or just make sure they're all in the same place in the bathroom. Get everything into 1-3 discreet / hidden piles so you just need to throw them in a trash bag and go. If there's any valuables you think your family will try to dispute ownership of, try to get any receipts or photos of you wearing or using them or texts from someone who bought them for you or whatever else you can find and put them in a Google drive folder or email to yourself. Worst case scenario though, be willing to leave some things behind if you have to.
Good luck and godspeed. :)
This is the best advice, in the best order, which I have seen laid out so far.
To which I will add:
Assuming you do have at least a valid Drivers License... it should be possible for you to attain your own copy of your Social Security card (which is not actually a card, its just paper) and Birth Certificate.
For the former, you can make an account on ssa.gov , and it is not too hard to get a Social Security card mailed to wherever you end up. Just say your old card was stolen.
As far as your Birth Certificate... theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I'm not familiar with Ohio specifically.
Finally, when you are settled in a new safe place, if you have not already tried, apply for SSI and/or SSDI from Social Security.
Its a mountain of paperwork, takes up to a year or more, but if you can get any form of guaranteed income, that's better than 0.
As far as your Birth Certificate... theoretically it should be possible to attain a copy through some kind of State records office/website, though I'm not familiar with Ohio specifically.
Vital Statistics
Here's the info from Ohio:
https://odh.ohio.gov/know-our-programs/vital-statistics/how-to-order-certificates
Hero.
Actually, none of this advice is actionable for OP because Ohio doesn't have exceptions for disability for APS. You must be 60 years or older.
"Adult" means any person sixty years of age or older within this state who is disabled by the infirmities of aging or who has a physical or mental impairment which prevents the person from providing for the person's own care or protection, and who resides in an independent living arrangement.
It looks like certain countries may extend those benefits to 18-60 year olds with disabilities, but only if they have funds, and only specific a handful of counties. It's absolutely no guarantee because the law does not require the DOJFS to respond if the person is under 60.
Honestly, if they follow your advice, the DOJFS is likely to just call the cops anyway.
You really need to break those paragraphs up. If you want to give people advice to help them out, the very first thing you need to do is care about how you're presenting that information. OP even said they have issues with cognitive function sometimes, so help them out by not giving them sold blocks of texts.
And I can tell you as someone who is intimately familiar with the workings of the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services, the assistance available to OP will depend heavily on how their local country office is run. It could be as easy as you say, it could also be an absolute cluster fuck that takes weeks for no resolution because the county office has been butchered by local conservative leadership.
If you'd like to edit the thing I wrote for free at 2am to include your edits for clarity and more localized bureaucratic knowledge, I'm happy to link right to you at the beginning. Other than that, you're welcome.
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First, you need to know, you did NOTHING wrong. Your family is the problem, NOT YOU.
Second, when you say you are "financially-dependent on my mother at the moment." it's quite likely the other way around. If you're as disabled as you say, you should be getting disability benefits, paid to YOU, not them. Likely they were collecting before you turned 18, but at 21 those benefits are YOURS, not theirs.
Third, don't sweat the birth certificate or SSN. Those are just paper and there's a process to replace them, a process you can't start if they harm you.
GTFO. Now. While you can. Take your benefits with you, cut them off and let them hang.
Absolutely agree with you, but one thing to note is the existence of what's called representative payees. OP would have likely had to sign a form for it at 21, unless they were verifiably incapacitated at the time, but a rep payee is, for an intents and purposes, the beneficiary as far as the social security department is concerned.
Which is NOT to say don't leave. It just means that OP needs to contact social security the instant they are clear of danger or being overheard.
The moment you're safe, contact the SSD and ask them to verify your status as the primary on your account. If your mother (or someone else) is not the rep payee, then you're clear. If they are, you need to ask for the paperwork to transfer your benefits back to yourself, which may involve having to go through a judge. That said, keep a record of any communications between yourself and whoever the rep payee is. Ohio is a one party consent state, meaning you are legally allowed to record your phone calls as long as one party is aware and consents, namely yourself. Text based communication is easier, though.
If you are able to contact anyone (guessing you can since you're posting this) I would suggest contacting progressive organizations in your area. Women's shelters, even if you're male, may be able to help you, or direct you to someone who can help. Gay organizations often have some resources in place for teens who have disowned. The DSA, the episcopal church, the metropolitan community Church, the United Church of Christ, any Sikh, Buddhist, and often Hindu community centers are also notorious for being home to progressive members. Sadly, they likely don't have anything in place for such a rescue mission already, but they may well be a member willing to assist.
Best option is if there's an anarchist mutual aid org near you, but that's unlikely.
I wish you all the luck and success in there.
This also ended up longer than I anticipated going in, so posting it as a full comment in and of itself, too.
If you're in acute danger, call the cops. A credible threat has been made. Even if they can't remove you or your brother, everything being on file might serve at the very least as a deterrent to execute his plan.
Thanks for the quick reply. I have a few concerns here:
- I have no recorded evidence of the threats, so I'm not sure if the cops will take this seriously. I heard that shit loud and clear, but I didn't get an audio recording.
- I have no idea how corrupt the cops in the local area are; this is a red county, although it's on the outskirts of a big city. I don't know if the cops could severely fuck me over in ways I don't know about.
- I am likely to end up escalating tensions. My brother would probably see it as an attack on him (Harris supporter trying to get his guns confiscated) and make it a priority to get rid of me quicker. He isn't very smart (hence why he joined the cult) so he might think that Trump will pardon all violence he commits.
I'd love to be wrong, but my current impression of cops is that they are unreliable and involving them could really backfire. But if anyone has a thoughtful rebuttal, I'd appreciate it. I'm not going to pretend to be an expert here.
Please read Apytele's comment, you are absolutely correct that calling the police will be interpreted as a threat and make your situation even worse.
You have to get out, first.
The police have literally 0 legal obligation to protect any citizen from a crime or potential crime, what they do is investigate after the fact, or sometimes during a reported ongoing incident. (Barring traffic stops, basically)
And that's assuming they're not fellow MAGA cultists.
My brother said that he hates Harris supporters so much that he wants a day of retribution where he goes on a violent rampage to kill everyone he knows who supports her, especially gay and transgender people. When my dad asked if that included me, he did not hesitate to say "Sure."
Isn't that already a case for the police or FBI or something?
My first thought also. I get people not wanting to get the police involved (i.e. some officers may share the sibling and father's sentiment), but this is definitely a situation where authorities should be contacted. This really feels like we're going to hear in like two months a local TV reporter say the words: "from a FOI request, we've learned that the two suspects were on police radar for months."
Here is my advice. When someone tells you who they are believe them. Get out. DO NOT contact police or any kind of law enforcement until you are gone and safe. People like this will escalate if they feel threatened.
You can get new documents, clothes and items. Even if you only escape with the clothes on your back, wallet and phone. Make sure your family cannot track your phone. Make sure any communication you have with your helpers is locked down. Use an app your family doesn't use or understand, like Snapchat or Discord. Have your helpers or uber pick you up a few houses down in the middle of the night if you have to.
You would be surpised who still cares for you. Reach out to family, to old friends, to anyone you think could help, either by giving you a ride or taking you in for awhile. I haven't talked to my best friend from collage for over a decade, but if she called me needing help I would drop everything and head her way.
Also, I live east coast and hell, maybe I could give you a ride to somewhere depending on where you are going.
Lastly, please take this seriously. You are not overreacting. Your life may very well be in danger, and just like with any other abusive relationship, leaving is the most dangerous part. Nothing you own outside of your ID and medications are worth dying for.
Use an app your family doesn’t use or understand, like Snapchat or Discord.
Nah, use Signal, they definitely won't use it, cause it's "woke leftist crap"
Signal posted this on Twitter a few years ago:
And this is what the Trump cultists had to say about it:
So you can definitely be sure that they don't use it
It's also much more private and secure than Snapchat or Discord. I would avoid Discord, since it's not encrypted and your chats are saved to your account. If someone gets your password, they can read all your chats. Signal only saves them on your device, so you're safe.
Absolutely, Element is fine too. Signal is easier to use tho
Your comment feels like it's replying to the title of the thread and not to the context of the post.
OP is disabled, literally struggles to move on their own, and is financially dependent on their mother. Most of your advice is boilerplate and unactionable for them.
If you're serious go to the police immediately and remove yourself from physical danger, deal with the rest of it later
Having been involved in a conversation about this sort of family dynamic with police, I wouldn't recommend it. Unless OP is in a gigantic city, he is not going to receive any help from the police that actually protects him. What will happen is the police will listen to his story, then go talk to the other parties involved to get their story.
If an officer believes him right off the bat, they can/may hold off on talking to the rest of the family and tipping them off that OP is making these claims, but even in that case OP still may be stuck in the house. They might be able to connect him to a shelter. Might. The problem is that he is male. Male domestic violence shelters are almost certainly going to be a shit-show at best, and 95% chance there isn't a shelter for males of domestic violence within any distance that the cops would help him get to.
The best bet for OP that involves cops is to follow Chonk's advice: https://links.hackliberty.org/post/3089471/5115602
Use the cops for what they are actually good at: protecting you in the exact moment they are there. Anything else is going to be a time-consuming investigation, unless the brother/father literally admit to planning to kill OP.
Pigs are also more likely to side with the fascists.
The cops are not good at protecting you, wherever they are, but sometimes they're good at protecting themselves.
I agree that going to the cops probably wouldn't keep OP safe. But it would give the cops a starting point if a dead body turned up. They would know exactly where to start looking, and they probably would do so. But couldn't lead to more harm than it is likely to prevent? Yes, possibly. It's hard to make that determination without knowing more details about the city.
I have to agree, local cops cannot be trusted to totally be impartial, and may be sympathetic to their ideology.
A bus ticket to a large city or college town should get you back to the real world, where you're more likely to be safe.
Record and document everything.
Murder threats are always serious. EDIT: When the victim thinks they are not - the most. It's a protection mechanism or something, if a person receives murder threats and waves those off, it means the situation is really serious. When a threat alarms them, it may or may not be serious. But if it doesn't, then run. Cause it means that the threat has been preceded by something less direct to desensitize them to threats from that person or group.
The absolute state of these lunatics, november is gonna be messy for us with either candidate ugh. Call the cops, leave, start over, etc im so sorry.
It's terrifying. If you're in a position to, and don't already have one, I'm encouraging everyone on the left to get a decent gun. Cheapest option is an assault 12 gauge. These people are full on, insane fascists. Their "day of retribution" will be a lot harder to impossible if we're armed.
Im not bothering to register and buy a gun for the first time this late in the game so ill take my chances. I live in california so im not that worried but its been unpleasant being around strangers the last couple of months that I feel like this charade of rat race late stage capitalism is making everyone a little more psychotic every day.
I'd been trying to promote gun ownership and training among left leaning folks since early 2016. Took various friends and Facebook randoms to the range and taught them to shoot. Have had motivation issues with that project for a while though.
Cheapest option is an assault 12 gauge.
I don't think I've come across any "assault shotguns", but maybe you're referring to the "tactical" variants? They'll typically come in black rather than wooden or camo pattern, have shorter barrels, and hold more ammo when compared with hunting shotguns.
It's important to note that shotguns aren't super beginner friendly, though they're probably the most financially accessible option for home defense. One piece of advice I would give is to look up what "cheek weld" is when using a shotgun (in additional to general safety and usage info). We're also pretty late in the game here for those that are worried about election-related violence, since developing marksmanship skills takes time. Better late than never though, just try to get at least one range trip in so that you can familiarize yourself with the basics.
Not looking to turn this into a guns thread, since that wouldn't be very useful for the OP. If anyone has any questions on the subject, you could make a post in one of these communities, and I (and probably others) can give advice:
You don't have family there. You have relatives.
Assuming this is real, and that you have a cell phone, I think your best resource is your not crazy relatives. Ask to visit. I find it more likely your brother is just boasting and full of shit, but if you are physically delicate, it could still end badly.
So call them and tell them what you told us, that you are worried. If they invite you, that will be an excuse to get your stuff from your mom. You need allies.
I really curious how they found out that you voted for Harris. Was the party dumb enough to send you a thank you letter with blue stickers or something?
That's my question too, do they not have a secret ballot in the US? If they do (and I'm pretty sure they do) my advice to OP is to deny who they voted for until they can get to safety, "was just joking about voting Harris" is a perfectly reasonable lie if your safety is threatened, the family would have no proof or way of finding out.
In the US our actual vote is secret and anonymous, so it is possible to hide who you "pull the lever" for. When you vote in the primary however, (in most states) it is recorded which party's primary you choose to vote in (but again your actual vote is secret) . This is a matter of public record (don't ask me why) and campaigns use that info to target people based on their likelihood to vote for them. So if OP chose to vote in the Dem primary, their name would be on record as having participated in that Dem primary, and the local/state/national Democratic Party probably would have sent campaign materials to their address (not like thank you notes, but more like ads for Dem candidates and causes), and their family may have deduced that they had an "outsider" amongst them. Another scenario is that OP may have just been honest with them when they asked.
The entire scenario sounds completely fabricated. Voting in the US is completely private unless the person asks for assistance. Also the amount of detail the OP provided reads like fan fiction.
Do you really not know who your family likely voted for, or your roommates? People like this don't need a registered ballot result to make an inference that lets them act violently; unless he'd had the foresight to play at being a Trump convert months ago, I think this story is extremely credible.
Some states will tell you just about everything about a voter with only their name and birthdate. Not that far feteched
It's absolutely fake
I would wager an average US mail carrier could correctly assume who a household has voted for just from the correspondences delivered during any given election season.
For people who are worried about what their family members would think, probably they're not donating or signing up for newsletters, so their postal mail is not going to give you much information.
A lot can be inferred. OP probably has talked about his political beliefs before with their family present (or eavesdropped). Either that, or OP had some arguments with his dad and his brother and they're now taking leaps of faith thinking he must be a democrat.
It's the latter.
Arguably a stupid mistake in retrospect, but all I said was that genocide against LGBTQ+ people is evil because genocide is evil, period.
I believed that opposing genocide was still in the Overton window and they hadn't gone full fash yet.
But then they told me who they really were.
That's when they began to constantly accuse me of voting for Harris. Because I opposed the mass killing of innocent people. I was already the oddball in my family for not spewing hateful rhetoric every day, so it was a believable narrative to them.
Maybe my brother doesn't believe for sure that I voted for Harris and just included me in his hit list because I oppose the killing that he wants to do. Either way, the end result is the same.
- Find the best person in your contacts whom you can trust and explain everything to him/her. Discuss about where you'll stay, how many others friends are there, how many people live in house (more is better). And it would be great if someone who stays with you has firearms.
- Call him/her to pick you from your house and tell him/her to bring cops too.
- Once they reach. Pack all important stuff like certificates, clothes, gadgets, etc.
I just hope that you were just high while writing this but if not then you gotta fight for your life and freedom.
I've always found the best people at foodnotbombs, which has local chapters in most cities. Start there.
Out the front door and straight to a punk show.
Sadly, the local police/FBI likely aren't going to do shit for you and will only increase the risk of you getting found out by the people you're living with. I'd wait until you're out to contact them.
Your non-crazy relatives seem like your best bet, provided they're willing to put themselves between you and your potentially violent acquaintances should it come to that. Be honest with them.
Otherwise, people have suggested abuse hotlines and organizations, that's probably a good place to start. If I were in your situation and I had nowhere else to turn, I'd probably reach out to the church I went to when I grew up. I'm no longer Christian but the church I went to was exceptionally open minded and left leaning and I would trust the leaders to understand and help me how they could. Maybe you know of or could ask around about a place like that in your region? I would avoid anything within your town if possible since word is likely to get back to the people you're currently living with.
Really sorry you're in this situation. I'm all the way on the west coast but I have a network of resources in central IL if you end up there. Reach out if you can think of more ways I can help.
My home church growing up was right leaning and as much as I hate them, I still feel like if I was in OP's shoes it would still be a good bet. To be fair they were more center right than far right but still.
I don't know how things go in the USA but in my country if anyone was to threaten to kill me, like a real threat not some shit talk, I would call the police and they would deal with that. Even more so if I told them I have a disability of some sort and can't defend myself.
Also, you need to contact a social assistance office, or whatever you may have like that in your town/region/state, because you need to get away from them and be able to sustain yourself. A change that will most certainly take a lot of your energy and focus — one more reason to let the police deal with the death threat.
Unfortunately, calling police in America may put you in danger. It's one of the many, many reasons I've left. I don't think people quite understand what it does until they've lived in other, safer places.
Unfortunately, calling police in America may put you in danger. It’s one of the many, many reasons I’ve left. I don’t think people quite understand what it does until they’ve lived in other, safer places.
That is not how the system is supposed to work. I never went to the USA and probably never will (there are a lot of reasons and people that would make me want to go mind you, but there are also way too many things I'm just not OK with). So, like I said I really can't tell but if that is like you say, that's very problematic.
I mean, there must be some legal authority to call for help. Self-defence, adding violence to already too much violence, can't be the only solution a State has to offer to threatened citizens. If that was, what use would there be in such a State?
Most police forces in the US were infiltrated by fascist white supremacists long ago. It's why even in very progressive places like Seattle, the police forces are under federal supervision for racism and so many POC are murdered all the time. It's rarely worth calling them. Mostly I only report crime for insurance purposes.
Mostpolice forces in the US wereinfiltratedcreated by fascist white supremacists long ago.Not trying to be pedantic, I just think it's really important to remember that that's what the police have always been for.
Things should work in the ways you describe. Sadly they often don't due to untold decades of lowering funding and general neglect have made the systems we have in place for our most vulnerable slow and bad enough to be worse than useless. They're actively harmful.
People who are disabled from birth or before working age are religated to a minimum assistance payment that does in no way meet the basic requirements to live in most places in the United States. Filing for that is a lengthy process that's often arbitrarily refused and requires even more time and effort put into it for (in many cases) a total payment less than the federal minimum wage monthly.
This is why you're seeing a lot of comments about OP getting moved in with family.
You need to call your relatives. If one of my second cousins whom I never met gives me a call saying that they are in your position and don't know where to turn I am driving out 4 hours to pick them up at the drop of a hat.
It is going to be be hard but there are means to get free. Explore your options once you are safe but right now job one is get safe.
I wouldn't call the police as the others have said. That might instigate more anger and violence from your brother.
I would seek an abuse shelter first. They could provide you with the things you need and take care of you. Here's one example.
Man, I am so sorry this is your situation. I won't pretend to really know what advice to give you, other than you should contact adult protective services and see if they can do anything since you are a vulnerable person (aka disabled).
Again, I don't know shit from fuck, but that's where I would start. Idk if the cops would take the threat seriously or not, but you might be able to file a restraining order.
Nothing to contribute to the conversation here, but fuck, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Please do let us know if you get out of this alive.
You need to come here to Australia mate.
Honestly, I feel like there are going to be a lot of refugees from the US if Trump wins
Have you seen Australias immigration policy? If hes got a disability, hes probably already denied. And how many of Americas allies do you think are going to start accepting refugees from the US? They wouldn't risk the optics of it.
Firstly, I live in Australia.. We have lots of migrants here. So yeah, I've seen the policies. In fact, I get along better with migrants than many multi generation Aussies
And yeah, calling them refugees was part joke, but part truth. There are lots of ways to enter including work or study. If Trump wins, its possible he'll mess up so bad he'll be overthrown within 4 years (that's the worrying thing. I lived in Indonesia during the riots). So, anyone migrating might not need to last long (even the right wing will realize they fucked up bad)
Considering how many people Trump has pissed off including our ex PM, I don't think countries will hesitate as much as you think....
First thing is to ensure your safety.
Once you have that taken care of - what do you know about your brother's out-of-state trip? He sounds like the kind of person who will ignore the local gun laws of wherever he is going if they're stricter than where you live. If he's going to a fascist meet-up, a tip that he may be illegally armed may give law enforcement a reason to start searching the Nazis for weapons.
Contact the police and FBI once you are safe. You may very well save lives.
Doubtful either will do anything but maybe make a report that might be ready if they are murdered. Cops will say there is nothing they can do because nobody is hurt. I'd bet a field agent would never call you back or show up.
If you have an extended family member who is sympathetic, that is the best. Otherwise, look for somebody who is sympathetic and older with a spare room or something, if there's some task you can help them with, even better. Older people are likely to be more stable and better understand their own limitations.
If you have an ID you should be able to get a copy of birth cert and social security by applying for them, if your family messes with them they can get fraud charges. You'll need to file a change of address for disability etc. Try to work things out as possible.
The other thing you should do is see if some anarchist is willing to put an airtag or similar on your brother's truck to monitor him. This will mean if your brother does end up doing his murder spree he can easily be tied to the murder at the least.
Honestly I would report the threat to the FBI. He is planning terroristic murders across an entire population of the general public and across state lines.
First, obviously ensure that you stay safe.
But if possible, gather as much evidence as you can. Make voice or video recordings, write down things you here, take photos of things that might be important, whatever. As soon as you're in safety, send all the evidence of your father/brother making death threats and planning violent riots to the police/FBI.
I'd say skip local PD and go above them, if they're crossing state lines that means it goes into federal jurisdiction. Also more likely for it to be taken seriously.
Right, that's probably a good idea
I hope doesn't live in Portage County, Ohio
Democratic relatives from the South who might potentially take me in, though I don't know for sure if they will, since we're not close emotionally.
Make it easier for them: Ask only if you can stay for a little while. Don't tell the whole story upfront.
Once you are actually there, you can look for other options. Or maybe you become closer.
You don't need your birth certificate or social security card. They are easy to replace. A birth certificate is a public record: you can order it from whatever government agency handles vital records in the county of your birth.
Social security card is marginally more difficult, but if you know the number, it is surprisingly easy. Just go down to the nearest social security office with your story, and they'll get it sent to you.
You can only do it like 6 times in your life, but you rarely need the card itself anymore.
Wait what happens at the 7th time?
Denial of service I guess? Either that or having to submit a very specific set of documents or forms to let someone somewhere know why you need just one more after already having seven at that point (First one being the one your parents are given at the time of your birth, followed by the 6 reprints they allow)
If you can get relatives to help, do that. If not, contact a local women's shelter or other abuse-related non-profit. They may or may not be able to help directly, but they will most likely know what other resources are available.
I wish you the best.
I don't think a women's shelter is going to help him much...
They may have answers. He likely won’t be the first man who called them needing advice on where to seek refuge
Depends on the shelter. Some are gender specific, some are simply there to help anyone who needs it
Men's shelters exist.
Shelters often share resources and many are more flexible than you would expect. They might not take you personally but dollars to donuts they can point you in the direction of other specialized resources.
This is a long reply. I'll do it in spoiler tags for the convenience of people who don't like that.
It sounds like you already have your answers on _what_ to do, which is the question everybody is trying to answer:
- You believe you are at real risk, so you need to get out.
- You can't safely access your primary ID documents, so don't (or if possible before leaving town, go the APS rout suggested by another commenter). Take any secondary ID you have with you and replace primary ID later.
- This is the one you seem least sure about, but you've identified your best safe destination, at least to start. Go to your Democratic relatives, and plan next steps from there. I'll add to this and other "what" questions in a reply
There are two other ways to understand what you're asking for in this post.
The first is validation to build confidence in your decision.
You have it.
Nobody is in a better position than you are to judge the seriousness of the situation. Trust your gut and get out.
The other way of reading the question is not what to do, but how. Logistics. This is the thing that hasn't been addressed.
I am disabled. My cognitive ability suffers severely if I sit up or stand up for more than a few minutes. I also have another condition that requires me to avoid bending my neck, so I have to keep it straight.
This suggests you don't drive, and that long walks or waiting at a bus stop aren't good options for you. Since you've presumably lived with your disability for some time, I'm going to assume you have local transport options sorted out - please reply with more details (level of urban, distance and size of nearest cities if rural, details on who drives you places if applicable, social connections) if if that's wrong.
You may or may not not have much long distance travel experience. How have you made longer trips in the past, other than your parents driving?
Driving
- Convincing a liberal friend to drive you to a red state within a week of the election is a tough ask - even if they are willing and have the time, they may not feel safe doing so. If they do, they're also more likely to downplay the risk from your brother. Most people who can do this are not working: retired, unemployed, or stay-at-home parents.
Unemployed friend should be your first choice here: probably happy to make the trip if you cover gas and lodging. Stay at home parent is less likely to be able to get away because of the need to handle childcare. Retired people you know are probably also connected to your parents, which make them riskier options.
- There are also websites and apps for pairing strangers with and without cars going in the same direction. Usually the person with the car will want gas money from the one without. This is a riskier option for you. It may also take longer and require you to make temporary arrangements to stay somewhere locally, and even then not work out.
First, don't use Facebook for this - too easy for it to get back to your family. Use your favorite search engine or app store to find a "road trip carpooling" tool. Probably as manybas possible, if you choose this option.
With your disability, you're more vulnerable to unsympathetic or even politically hostile drivers. When they ask about your trip, don't tell them why you left. You're going to visit family you haven't seen in a while. Talk about things you've done with them in the past, and what you're looking forward to doing with them now. Don't mention things that convey their (or your) politics.
If you're paired with a MAGAt or someone who holds otherwise objectionable views, do not push back. Express indifference, or even agreement if that's what it takes. You're vulnerable both because of your disability and because they control your transportation - you don't want to be stranded at the next rest or gas stop.
Air
You will need state ID, drivers license, or passport for this. You can buy a ticket online through a site like Travelocity, Kayak, or Orbitz. That will usually be cheaper than through the airlines. Print your ticket if you feel safe doing so, otherwise you can get it at check-in at the airport.
Show up over an hour early - preferably two, I don't know how muvh your disability may slow things down. Check-in is probably at a kiosk. Then ask the first uniformed person you see for mobility assistance. With your standing issues, that will probably mean someone to push you in a wheelchair to TSA. Documentation of your disability may help here, but shouldn't be necessary.
After TSA, they'll probably send a golf cart to rake you to the gate. Once boarding is called, disability should make you eligible to board at any time. If you need to lie down to keep enough cognitive ability to recognize the right boarding call, do so, and explain to any official that tells you to sit up (but they probably won't). Ignore any passengers that say anything about it - you don't have to answer to them.
When you board, make the flight crew aware of the cognitive issues with sitting. Ask them to tell you specifically at each stop if it's time for you to exit the plane.
When you arrive, ask for mobility assistance again. There will be a taxi stand at the airport if you need that. You may not want to call ahead to your family even then, so you can make your request in person not to contact your brother and parents.
Bus
Greyhound, or Megabus. You will need state ID, drivers license, or passport for this. It will be physically challenging.
Again, you can buy tickets online. I recommend this, as they sell out. If buying and printing the ticket at home is not safe, you can still plan the trip and then buy at the terminal if there is one - but it limits your starting point options to actual terminals (not all Greyhound stops have them). The ride will be long, cramped, and you will almost certainly have to change buses at some point. Bring something to do that won't run down your phone battery, like a book or knitting.
There will be less assistance than with flying. Lying down at the station is more common, but if they're full they're more likely to make you sit up despite your disability. There will be stops where you can buy food. There won't be a taxi stand at the other end, but there will almost certainly be a local bus stop.
> I also can't safely lift anything that's heavier than a few pounds, so anything more than that is very risky. I can push and pull fine.
Do you have a rolling small suitcase you frequently use for taking things with you when you go places nearby? If so, pack what you can in that. Ignore things that can be easily replaced (personal care items, fashion clothing, etc) and plan to replace them when you get where you're going. Thrift stores are your friend. Focus on things of emotional, medical, or financial value. If there's room left, pack underwear since that can't be gotten used.
If leaving with anything would be unusual, don't. Getting you out is the most important thing. Everything else is secondary. If you go the APS route for your ID, they can help you retrieve some belongings at the same time. Otherwise, plan to figure it out later.
Great breakdown! I'd like to add train to the options. OP might be able to utilize an Amtrak train for a portion of the trip depending on the travel destination. Here's a map of their routes. Tickets can be purchased online, they offer assistance for disabilities, and they have places to lie down or eat food.
If you decide to fly OP, consider getting a pack of gum to chew on to help with pressure/popping in your ears during altitude changes of takeoff and landing.
Thank you, I thought I missed one! Again, this will also require some form of ID. It also provides greater leg room and comfort than airplane or bus. The seats also recline more than either of the others, which may be helpful given OP's cognitive issues with sitting up for extended periods.
you have to put
::: spoiler button textat beginning, not just::: button textCaught that within a few seconds of posting, but edits seem to take longer to propagate than the original comment
I'd add shelters to the list if you can't immediately get direct travel to family. Many provide support services as well which can help you on your next steps.
Print your ticket if you feel safe doing so, otherwise you can get it at check-in at the airport.
You can also just have it on your phone. You don't even need to use Apple Wallet or Google Wallet, most airlines just give you the PDF file. @[email protected]
do you have a driver's license?
you can get a running camper or even a large van in a pinch for less than a few thousand.
it's not the most comfortable thing in the world for everybody, but if you get an RV, you have a tiny independent apartment on wheels free and clear.
you have no more rent after the initial purchase, and obviously it's private so you have as much time as you need to to figure out what you're going to do next.
That's the quickest way to get your own private space and I can walk you through it(browse, visit, buy, register) and look at vehicle listings near you.
I can walk you through exactly how hygiene and all the everydays work in the vehicle you get, likely expenses and all of that per month, it's all doable and not a huge adjustment from living in a regular apartment.
birth certificate in almost every state can be replaced in 1-2 weeks for about 40 bucks or expressed in a couple days for 80 bucks, and with your birth certificate and a couple other documents like tax forms or some other identifier, you'll be able to get your SSN card replaced as well.
If you have any other specific practical questions, please send them over here. I've replaced many documents before, I've lived in an RV, I've been traveling for a decade, and I'm thriving on the other side.
I have life experience I'm happy to share and you can take from it what you find useful.
Call the police if your life and others are threaten. Seriously.
And then the cops show up, interview everyone, and leave.
"Let us know if you have any further trouble, OP."
Then everyone in OP's family is insanely pissed off at him, even more likely to kill him, start screaming at him 60 seconds after the cops leave.
... You must not be American, to think that calling the Police in for a domestic dispute is some kind of solution.
If you’re disabled like OP calling the police is dangerous. They will not understand OP’s disability and will make them do stuff that will harm them. It’s better to look for local mutual aid organisations specialised in people with disabilities.
Idk about the US but here in europe you can call social services and if you are serious they will send someone out to get you and at least temporarily you can stay at the relatives who dont want to harm you.
Not 100% sure, but I think it depends on the area. A lot have gutted services like this to the point that they either barely exist or do not at all. If this is the case then the only people that will respond are the cops, which I'm sure they don't want to take that chance.
i wouldnt hesitate to reach out to family down south as they may be most able to legally help you. i would not call the cops, they are useless. hunt for shelter and other hotlines, ideally chats if the walls are thin!
some counties also have "no wrong number" programs, so if you can get a call to, say, the health department, they can redirect you to better services
I would - there's the risk they don't take a phone call seriously and let something slip to the parents. Far better to show up on their doorstep to help them understand the gravity of the situation and importance of getting out.
I think the best advice has been given by others.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Feel free to DM me if you need to vent, or if I can do anything to help.
Leave now. Fuck your stuff.
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get a cab
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get a Greyhound to an area with a better outlook.
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look for roommates in your destination city on the ride
YES! Get to the city any way you can. If you don't have any money see if you have something to trade or sell. Go to a homeless shelter, some have case workers who can help you. Some cities have shelters just for victims of abuse where they make sure your identity is hidden and they can help you get setup with housing and other assistance. You'll likely have more options since you're disabled. Your family is less likely to go to a city to find you. You deserve way better and I hope you find peace.
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Even if there is no attempt to kill you, the physical abuse and attempts to force you into vulnerable and risky situations will, and you are already vulnerable. Maybe you can contact some form of social service or disability services and report the circumstances. Some guides suggest contacting the police, but it wouldn't be my first option - maybe try to contact probono lawyers who could help you like this https://www.ohiojusticefoundation.org/tom-and-gerry-cincinnati-attorneys-contribute-hundreds-of-hours-of-pro-bono-service/ in case things get serious. Leave a trail that indicates that the threat has been made. You can also try to get in contact with organizations like Ohio Democrats, but do so quietly. I'd try to lay low if I were you until you can move out, maybe even just throw them a bone by trying to virtue signal their cult thinking until you can get away safely. Definitely clear or hide your browsing and account history so they can't trace it back to posts like this, and maybe just leave a less threatening persona account that if they do find they would have less of an issue with.
With conditions that severe, do you have access to a medical transport service or an understanding friend? One way or another, have them get you to a bus depot, buy a ticket to the nearest sane state and tap their social services to help you get established with basic care - Ohio is likely beyond broken intentionally, and it might not feel like it, but you will find social systems that function (not perfectly, but function for those truly in need) in other states.
If you're in active danger, focus on moving (or being moved) away, as fast and far as you can afford.
Absolutely agree with you, but one thing to note is the existence of what's called representative payees. OP would have likely had to sign a form for it at 21, unless they were verifiably incapacitated at the time, but a rep payee is, for an intents and purposes, the beneficiary as far as the social security department is concerned.
Which is NOT to say don't leave. It just means that OP needs to contact social security the instant they are clear of danger or being overheard.
The moment you're safe, contact the SSD and ask them to verify your status as the primary on your account. If your mother (or someone else) is not the rep payee, then you're clear. If they are, you need to ask for the paperwork to transfer your benefits back to yourself, which may involve having to go through a judge. That said, keep a record of any communications between yourself and whoever the rep payee is. Ohio is a one party consent state, meaning you are legally allowed to record your phone calls as long as one party is aware and consents, namely yourself. Text based communication is easier, though.
If you are able to contact anyone (guessing you can since you're posting this) I would suggest contacting progressive organizations in your area. Women's shelters, even if you're male, may be able to help you, or direct you to someone who can help. Gay organizations often have some resources in place for teens who have disowned. The DSA, the episcopal church, the metropolitan community Church, the United Church of Christ, any Sikh, Buddhist, and often Hindu community centers are also notorious for being home to progressive members. Sadly, they likely don't have anything in place for such a rescue mission already, but they may well be a member willing to assist.
Best option is if there's an anarchist mutual aid org near you, but that's unlikely.
I wish you all the luck and success in there.
This also ended up longer than I anticipated going in, so posting it as a full comment in and of itself, too.
As others have said, you really should contact the police and let them know your brother is planning to murder people.
Maybe the FBI would be a better contact in this case? I may be wrong, but to me the brothers explicit words of intention and access to guns seems very much like a threat of premeditated domestic terrorism. If that's indeed the case, here's the FBI's page with contact options near the bottom.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal/live with this OP. You deserve much better. This internet stranger is proud of you for doing all that's within your power in such a shitty situation!
These people became full blown cult now?
Always have been.
"Family" and "relation" aren't mutually exclusive; call the cops on your brother. You can't un-radicalize him, but you can at least keep him away from you.
Please update us!
How did they find out who you voted for?
Whenever I watch movies, sometimes I need to remind myself not to get caught up and to just allow the story to tell itself.
I believe the FBI is who you’d contact my dude
The problem is that you are totally unknown to us if you happen to not update or something what would we do? Who do we call? What we will say? You'll need to set up a network of people that checks on you and can ring an alarm.
As panicked as you are, take a second. Murdering family for political views isn't exactly on the table quite yet. You're still afforded freedom and justice and even if people dont think you should have it they would have to cross a line that they've never crossed before to exact their cruel punishment. Use these social norms to posture an exit route but do not fear standing up for yourself. None of us are there physically so you are your last line of defense. You can also start a live stream assuming you have a phone which should be another layer of protection.
I'm also not saying be confrontational. I'm saying if the need arises stand up for yourself, it will throw them. Just be sure to have an exit strategy for each situation and assume you can only play that card once before they talk themselves into disobeying societal conditioning.
Bullies are just scared little children on the inside. Murder, no matter how brain washed you are is not a small leap. I suggest you use this fear to build the courage to leave. Though your greatest fears may never be realized it takes a humongous toll to live with that sort of stress.
Contact APS like suggested and they should help you along but make it clear reconciliation is not something you would like to pursue. Even if you can imagine reconciliation being helpful now is not the time and you'll thank yourself later for making this choice.
Also, cops arent inherently bad people. Some cops have disabled family. Some cops are left leaning. Some cops just firmly believe in the letter of the law. It's a gamble, for sure, but not a crap shoot as others would have you believe.
Department of Children and Families
To be honest I would take some of the advice here, but in the immediate I would get a switch blade or bear mace or both and hide them in different places around your room.
When election day comes if anyone tries anything stupid you will at least have means to defend yourself and escape.
I have a hard time taking some of the advice here seriously, especially around there being some kind of conspiracy where the police are right-wing and full of fascists - but let's take it at face value
Instead of law enforcement, go to a lawyer and ask them to help, stating that you feel that you cannot go to the police. Any law firm worth their salt would ensure that you are represented, or that you're represented by someone from your district that will protect you. They will also keep an eye on adequate law enforcement to ensure they actually protect you, and don't just farm you back to relatives. At the very least, they can give you enough protection to ensure that your relatives in the south can contact you and take you in if needed.
Dude... there's no conspiracy that the police is full of right wing facists. It's openly the truth.
Right? Lol a Democrat cop. Unheard of these days.
My wife tried to tell me that the military would stop Trump. I laughed in her face. The only brainwashing stronger than the USMC is on OAN and Fox.
I'm telling her we need to get armed, I don't feel okay even having a Harris sign in our yard in this climate, and I'm in a historically liberal area.
A "conspiracy" in the way you used the word here would usually imply that it isn't true, so a different word would be better.
Do you have any disability income?
Sending good vibes op. ❤️
Call the police and fbi immediately
do NOT do this until you are away from your family. cops are exceptionally bad at handling this stuff
Cops =/= FBI
You know why the FBI is so terrifying? Because 20 agents have already verified the information that allows the agents to come and arrest you. The FBI gets their target. Every. Fucking. Time.
As for op, I think this is probably the only choice that you're going to have in conjunction with working with the family that may still be able to support you.
That's such a shitty situation that you're in, and I am so sorry that you have to endure this. You may be disabled, but you are not weak. You are strong! You voted your conscience despite the risks of retribution from your family.
Never call the police. They don't prevent crime, they show up afterwards to hurt the person who did it. NEVER call them.
You were joking - obviously!
Democracy dumbs down civilization.
You should read the book, "the subtle art of not giving a fuck"
