RFK Jr faces call for investigation into claim he chainsawed whale’s head off
RFK Jr faces call for investigation into claim he chainsawed whale’s head off
Activists say Kennedy could’ve committed felony violation for allegedly driving with whale skull strapped to car roof
His independent White House campaign has fizzled, but the flow of bizarre stories of Robert F Kennedy Jr’s unorthodox handling of the carcasses of wild mammals has experienced no similar suspension.
An environmental group is calling for a federal investigation into the former presidential candidate for an episode in which he allegedly severed the head of a washed-up whale with a chainsaw – and drove home with it strapped to his car’s roof.
The episode has parallels with another extraordinary tale reported earlier in August in which Kennedy confessed to dumping a dead bear cub in New York’s Central Park and attempted to make it look like the animal was killed by a bicyclist.
The latest grisly revelation, about the whale head, is not particularly new – it stems from a 2012 interview Kennedy’s daughter Kick gave to Town & Country magazine, in which she talks about a visit to other family members of the political dynasty in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, more than two decades prior.
His daughter:
“Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.”
That... sounds real.
Just a not weird family drive through the country. Seriously though, I'm betting the Harris campaign is sitting on several more of these stories that will roll out over the next couple months.
I'm also wondering where his collection is right now. If he's being investigated for a federal crime, there may be a search warrant in the works.
Look, guys... he already admitted that he's not a choir boy. So just drop it, already. Sheesh. /s
whale juice would pour into the windows of the car
Why...
Why wouldn't you roll up the windows?
what the fuck
people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.
Right, so when they're not driving around with whale heads, he's just a reckless driver. Must run in the family.
Remember folks, there are delusional centrists who love this guy and think he speaks for the working man.
Man, Kennedys end up with a shocking number of dead things in their cars.
A truly mind blowing amount.
They’re drowning in it.
Ever read a comment that's so damned clever you bail out the internet, knowing you won't find another lightning in a bottle post any time soon?
Just ask Chapaquitic Teddy.
RFK Jr: "This is a cool story, right? People will think I'm cool?"
Brain Worm: "Yes! Yes! And tell them about the bear!"
Beautiful. If Kirsty Noem taught us anything, it's that charming stories about animals are all the rage.
Okay, but if it was already dead, and he didn’t kill it, what’s the big deal?
“Mr Kennedy’s apparent transport of the marine mammal skull from Massachusetts to New York, and therefore across state lines, also represented a felony violation of the Lacey Act, one of the earliest wildlife conservation laws enacted by [the] United States in 1900,” he wrote, adding that it was also illegal to possess part of any animal protected by the endangered species act.
Oh.
I think the purpose of that language is to prevent
peoplehunters claiming they just happened to find it dead.I hate when actions that cause no harm are made illegal, just because actions that do cause harm are harder to investigate.
Maybe I was lied to in boy scouts but I was told that law even prevents you from keeping a feather naturally dropped by a bald eagle. So cutting the head off an endangered animal would definitely be a no no.
All feathers are illegal, but they will most certainly throw the book at you for Eagle feathers. The animal rescues have to transport dead bald eagles to the federal government where they get DNA tested and cataloged and feathers are only distributed to Native Americans who have gone through a permit process. A first time offense is a $100k fine and a year in prison.
Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act
Handling and Distribution of Bald and Golden Eagles and Parts
This is exactly as mentioned in other comments, to prevent the "it was already dead when I got here" excuse.
Not just bald eagles, or all eagles, or even all birds of prey. The migratory bird protection act covers nearly 1,100 species of birds: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migratory_Bird_Treaty_Act_of_1918
And that list includes some very common birds, like some gulls.
Are we sure John McAfee didn't fake his death and change his name to RFK? Cause this is some weird-ass John McAfee shit.
Can we not use John McAfee and shit on the same sentence anymore? IYKYK
I don't know, and honestly I'm a little afraid to look it up...
And this is only like, the fifth weirdest headline I've read about the guy.
Trump: "People are calling us weird! Quick, bring on someone that is weirder than me and Vance!"
Staffers: "Turn on the RFK signal!"
Cards against humanity-ass title
It was already tough being in a world where it's hard to see the difference between the onion articles and actual news. Now we're on a completely new level where news can be the result of playing CAH. It's kinda funny until you stop to think how terrible it is.
Little know fact. A worm crawled into his skull and ate a piece of his brain. The brain then died, and that's RFK JR.
Mf'er really named his kid Kick Kennedy?
Her actual name is Kathleen.
She's named after her great aunt Kathleen Kennedy, who died in a plane crash at 28 years old. Aunt Kathleen was nicknamed "Kick" because of her "irrepressible nature" and it seems she inherited the nickname as well.
What the fuck are even these headlines? What the fuck RFK Jr?!?!
I know the meme is Ted Cruz being the Zodiac killer, but are we sure it isn't actually RFK Jr?
So the unspoken bit about RFK Jr. is that he's a tweaker, right?
I mean, the details are all in the context of politically entitled progeny, but the underlying vibe I get from the stories about him is very reminiscent of the tweakers I've known over the years.
Watch the Behind the Bastards on him, he at least used to be really into drugs even got one of his brothers addicted.
Edit: Pretty sure it was the brother that died from a drug overdose.
I say we make him americas next prime minister
This can't be fucking real.
how much would a whale head weigh? how would he have raised it onto his car roof without an engine lift and crazy chains? maybe it was a really small whale? why would the windows be open?
TLDR; he ate a racoon.
In his defence, he thought it was human meat.
The hunger
Lots of people eat racoons, that’s far from the being this guys problem.
This is a Kaufman-esque performance art piece, right? Jk rich people get a free pass on insanity.
Every headline I read about this man is pure insanity.
Everyone around Trump seems to either end up in prison, a convicted felon, or in rare cases, dead. Funny how assholes and weirdos seem to gravitate to him.
I think it's a strategy to remove the focus on both trump himself and what hes campaign is missing (clear stances on lot of things).
Just get crazy headline-guys in the spotlight!
And it seems it's working.
So... he's draining the swamp?!
Just a friendly reminder that this man is now aligned with presidential hopeful Donald Trump.
This goes way beyond weird. No wonder the weird OLD orange felon welcomed him aboard.
Dang, we missed out on a whale beheading, bear practical joking, brain worming president! It's just too bad.
Bear corpse practical joking. Don't forget that it was already a corpse.
A baby bear corpse. That makes the joke funnier.
Wild day for people who believe in consequences as we beg appeals courts to not let Trump off scot free for misuse of classified documents and hope theres a way to prosecute a Kennedy for decapitating a whale.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the brain worms make this guy chainsaw his own head off.
I don’t . . . What . . . How is . . .
Imma go lay down.
Weirdo
The worst part IMO is using a chainsaw on a necrotizing, possibly rotten whale carcass. Chainsaws do not cut soft objects - like tissues - so much as they shred the hell out of them. That means a lot of splattered, fish-stench horror and fluids. And he probably didn't wear so much as a smock for protection.
I wanna know how he wasn't arrested? I mean if any average person had done that their ass would be in jail ffs.
average person
Found the reason.
I'm sure the DA will get right on it as soon as he and RFK Jr. get back from their falconry trip in the Hamptons.
What are the charges? When I find skulls laying around our camp I nail them beside the shed door. So far I have a rabbit, tortoise shell and an unidentified herbivore. Lost the deer skull. :(
Call me weird if you like, but criminal? Excepting scale, what's the difference? Not like he rowed out in the bay and harpooned it himself. I can't shoot a black bear, but I can do what I please with any remains I find.
What are the charges?
You can just, like, read the article. It's right there. Hyperlinked nicely for you for maximum convenience.
Not weird at all.
Please just go away.
Can someone explain his voice? I don’t want to be the bad guy, so rather than pilling on the obvious…
Why does he sound like he smoked a dick 5 min before his interviews?
That information is very widely and readily available with a basic web search. His voice was fine until (I forget) years ago when a weird illness damaged his vocal cords.
He caught permanent whale laryngitis from the dead whale head juice that sloshed through his open car windows.
He has spasmodic dysphonia. It's the same condition that former NPR interviewer Diane Rehm
hadhas (she's still with us at 87, good for you Diane). His is a lot more severe than hers to my ears.Cool it’s all out there… but you forgot it… but it’s all good and we all get a downvote. Cool cool cool.
Anyone else want to mention what’s going on with his craggy bullshit? Why it’s so GD abrasive but we’re all supposed to just accept it?
He’s a weirdo, but an investigation sounds like a waste of resources. The whale was already dead. He didn’t kill it.
transport of the marine mammal skull from Massachusetts to New York, and therefore across state lines, also represented a felony violation of the Lacey Act
Pretty thin sauce.