In my late 30s I realized I could work a little less hard, ask for support, and ask for what I wanted without expectations. It's an improvement so far.
In my early 30s and after the constant flow of assholes fail upwards and get promoted ahead of me, I decided to set fire to the world and did a Office Space.
That constant directness led me to run a department.
Thankfully, around 7-8th grade. The English and History teachers worked in tandem to impose a critical thinking background to their lessons. Of course, it made me and others cynical as shit, but we were at least less surprised when life decided to go in dry.
Oh I love the teaching, it's the crap around it that bugs me. The hard work is all the paperwork that no-one ever reads - "write only documents" as my father used to call them.
At 15, on my first job. There were 3 others in the same position. I finished first, perfectly, while they goofed off. Told the manager, all excited. She had me clean out a closet while I waited for the others to catch up. It was a real defining moment.
The best thing is that this is true in every job. Your reward for being 15% more productive than everyone else is an extra 5% in wages. Sometimes not even that.
It's really, really going to depend on your work environment. In some cases, being the person who is 15% more productive buys you some leverage and slack that others don't have. Was that guy in some roles - there was definitely shit I was able to get away with that would've ended in disciplinary conversations for others.
The trick, though, is being to suss out when that's actually the case, when you're just deluding yourself , and when that might've been the case once but for whatever reason isn't anymore. That's tougher.
Ok but if I'm even slightly mean to someone they try to screw me over for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, I see people getting away with it. I need a tutorial on being an asshole that people tolerate.
You have to make sure you're only being an asshole to people who're seen as beneath you. If someone above you both likes that person better than you're going to get fucked. They on the other hand can be an asshole to you with impunity.
Lucky af here too. None of the “work sucks” stuff ever realllly resonates with me. But I sympathize all the same. Just happened to get super lucky in most every way. We need to do better for the majority, but even an evil system ends up working well for some folks (perhaps only a privileged few). So, caution people on blanket “absolutely everything sucks, trust no one!” kinda thinking.
For the most part the more active and nicer you are the happier you will be. Yeah yeah you get taken advantage of, you know the same result if you are a lazy asshole.
Your insurance company is going to deny your claim, your stuff is going to break down, you will be ripped off, you will be injured, you will be robbied, and eventually you will die. All of this stuff will happen in your existence and there is fuck all you can do about it.
What you can do is stay active and stay giving. You can surround yourself with people who very much want you to be happy in life and your happiness almost completely depends on it.
So go ahead and make your decision. Do you want to pass judgement on a world that doesn't care what you think about it and rot with whatever pathetic little you have or do you want deep connections and a lifetime of achievement.
While I don't fully disagree with this, I do disagree with the happiness being dependent on this, as that is highly subjective and is not true unanimously.
I am constantly reminded that knowledge isn't free. We live in a world where everything could be so so so much better if information were shared, instead it is locked up and sold as a product. So to answer the question, every single day, I'm still hopeful that a positive change could happen.
25; I'm still waiting on a title change and raise I was promised in October. Turns out doing system administration work, software deployment, RMM management, and CADD support all while being payed as a support tech isn't such a great idea. Oh well, at least my resume is stacked for when I leave.
As someone who has done that, it is an uphill battle to get recognized for that work without the proper title. It's mostly recruiters who want easy commissions who won't advocate for you and quite a few HR people will screen you out even if you seem to have the skills just because you don't have that title. I hope you have a better job search than I did after doing that for a company.
Yeah, I've seen a bit of that. We'll see here in a couple months when I get to actively job searching. Luckily I'm in such a niche skill base that I think I'll be okay, but you never know. Thanks for the heads up!
Sorry you had to go through it; it's very exhausting and miserable, as you probably know.
Hard to be surrounded by the horrors of the world and not want to try and make things better.
Harder still to find any kind of institution or group that's got the finances and expertise to make effective changes, but which hasn't been hijacked and looted by corporate raiders.
Feels like I'm living in Mad Max world and I'm trying to decide which insane biker cult to join if I want to make the world a brighter friendlier place.
I was about 25. I did actually work my way up through sheer knowledge base within the first 6 years at the company. But after several years of going for a more technical position the boss slept with a new hire who was new to the industry and gave them the position.
I promptly left the company and heard that the person who gain the position through I'll gotten means not only messed up a lot but also injured themselves doing stupid shit anyone who's been in the industry would not do.
That hasn't changed much. In my area, women are sleeping with men to get minimum wage and work twice as hard as men who don't sleep with the same men (I guess) to not work hard and make 2-3 times as much. Let's just say I've learned I can do without a whole lot of stuff I didn't think I could before. For years.
As a kid I somehow figured I could be both a world famous Hollywood actress and a stay at home mom at the same time. And achieve all of that by like 20.
I mean at least one of these things happened temporarily but not until my late 20s.
When my angel of a tee totaling mother who would cry from the stress of working unpaid OT, making every family member custom holiday sweatshirts, or hosting other little girl's birthday parties at their lazy mother's request, died rather quickly from a brain tumor after her quack therapist ignored her months of aphasia. Selflessness guarantees nothing.
I was 21yo. I am thankful mandatory internships taught me that much.
1st internship at 20yo. Completed 2 full-fledged programming projects in 8 weeks, while I was supposed to complete 1 project in the entire 10 weeks. Spent the last 2 weeks unboxing and reboxing hundreds of products all day. Was paid 500€/month (minimum legally required). Worked my ass off from 8am until 18am. No one ever invited me to go for lunch with them. Boss treated me like an idiot. He once shouted at me at 8am because he didn't like my handshake and I didn't smile, I didn't look motivated and grateful enough to his liking.
2nd internship. 4 months long. Still paid the 500€/month minimum. Did my job alright, completed the tasks that were given to me and nothing more. Spent most of every Fridays just chatting with coworkers and drinking coffee. "Oh, it's 15:55 already! I better pack my things and leave". They loved me, told me they will have a position for me after I finish my studies. Colleagues offered me presents on my last day.
3rd and last internship. Applied the same principles. They offered me a job starting at 54k€/year (as a reference, other offers I got at the time maxed at 34k€/year).
I am thankful for this lesson. Be nice and socialize. Just do your job well with the time your are paid for and absolutely nothing extra. I have been nothing but successful in my career so far :)
Don't be a doormat, but be nice and take a little time to be a bro at work. I've been given many great opportunities because I tried to be nice. As long as you're competent and you care, you don't even need to be competitive.
My wife is in her mid 40s and hasnt figured it out yet. Constantly pissed at the company she works for screwing over people in her position with more and more responsibility for no pay increase. An opportunity came up and it was going to be rather inexpensive to open a competing business three miles down the road and it would have screwed over the company she works for, and she won't even let me look into it. She will never get by at her current job.
Well, my original plan was "time to go to college now, this should be just as easy as school was up until senior year, but I was just coasting and certainly that won't be a sign of things to come"
Oh, way too young. Grade school. I didn’t give up on the nice part, but I realized that extra work got a brief notice - and you constantly had to apply more effort to get that notice, the rest of the time you were the same as anyone else. So why work extra all the time for little reward? Guess I’m not very approval- or reward-driven.
Been in union gigs for decades now. You do your work, do it right because that’s what you do, and you get paid pretty well. Generally nobody’s in your business offering or retracting rewards based on how they feel about you or your work.
It did teach me a valuable lesson about not working too hard for the team. An important life lesson to be sure because there’s very little that truly matters.
Yeah, I learned early on how to speak up for myself thanks to these projects. If we had to do extra to cover someone else not doing their part that person got thrown under the bus.
Funnily enough, I was well aware of this while I was young, and planning on not participating and dying young. Somehow I still got suckered in for 10 years of service before I woke up again.
Around 16 or 17. I was already aware that "studying hard" was bullshit by 13, which made my grades fall from 90-100% to just passing, which in turn led to lots of complaining from my mom until I finished high school.
In school I would calculate exactly what I would need to do to just pass. I've always loved learning but didn't care for basically everything about the schools I was in. Which brought a storm of shit from my teachers and grandma.
No one appreciated the effort of calculating how many questions need to be answered on a test in order to bring your grade to a 74%. Sure it would've been easier to just do the thing, but they didn't make it fun and it didn't matter.
When I was getting burned out and started asking to be scheduled enough time to get my weekly tasks done, so they "silent fired" me by taking away all my tasks and putting me exclusively on the new hire jobs.
Mowing the yard for my dad as a pre-teen. I was trying to earn some extra cash and so went way above and beyond.
He acknowledged it and did pay a little more than we’d agreed to, but in no way commensurate to the extra work I put in.
I don’t mind working hard or doing extra, but I do it for me now. If interested, passionate, and engaged, then I dig deep and do more. Otherwise it’s the agreed upon work and no more.
When I had to have a tiny mental breakdown over getting a single day off after spending the year prior doing favours for the store manager like driving the delivery truck and being the pillar that kept the fresh departments standing. Ohh and I hadn't had a holiday for 2 years.
Now I work 4 days a week by choice, I come in do my work well enough then sign off. I constantly remind them that if I'm not being actively paid by the company I see myself as unemployed and free to do what I want.