Right? My immediate thought was just that is is awful communication and everyone would have a better time if they just said something in either scenario
Oh and that is fine but then you have to ask yourself if you want to have a partnership with bad sex. If not, break up, or "teach" by communicating what you want, what is good and what is bad. There is no alternative, accept bad sex, break up, teach.
(Technically, you could let them have sex outside of the partnership to study, but... Well, not my cup of tea)
Not just men, I’m a lesbian and I’ve experienced this with women too. Some people are really sensitive to constructive criticism especially during intimacy.
While 100% in the don't fake it camp, please also remember us men are not mind readers and our equipment works different. Much like with cooking and cleaning, if you don't tell us what we are doing wrong or better yet show us the right way, we are going to assume we did our part cause we got the result we wanted and you didn't complain or ask for something different.
I've noticed a pretty direct correlation with a woman's habit of masturbating and her ability to orgasm during sex. The chick I was seeing just before I went back to college, I'd believe it if you told me that I've played with her clit more than she ever has TO THIS DAY, and guess what? She never once gave me any suggestion on what she wanted me to do, I'm sure because she genuinely didn't know.
What I happened to notice with different girls as a guy is that for many, of not most, telling/showing the right way is a turn-off and having something the right way without showing first is a source of tremendous excitement.
With that said, we, men, are still not mind readers, and women really do have it very differently, so some common sex education, while useful, can only cover the basics, and even they are not universally applicable.
I don't think OP is talking about a PowerPoint presentation (unless that's your kink, you do you), but more like some verbal cues "faster" "don't stop" "a little lower" etc. If the guy has a reasonable amount of attentiveness and experience, he should be able to get her 80% of the way there. Also, little cues like that can be hot as well because we know she's into it and stuff.
I dunno man, most women in my experience have all really appreciated (and as much said out loud) that there was communication. Sure, if it happens without any prompting or guidance, it’s mind blowing because it feels like there’s something naturally special going on, but that’s a pretty rare thing. Sexual compatibility can be tweaked and guided, for sure, but then again there are also people who just don’t have it together.
There are also just toxic people that want perfection with zero work. But that’s not how shit works, even if they can be a vocal group
Fake orgasm is very counter-productive, even when it's used as a feeling preservibg way of saying "I'm tired and bored, let's just finish you off and go back to watching tv"
I dumped a woman when she told me she faked her orgasms. Good sex requires honesty, trust, and communication. It's impossible to get better when either person is being dishonest.
Good, fuck her. Or not fuck her in this case. I've dated two or three guys that had honesty issues, and the relationship crumbled very quickly after I figured it out. Without trust there's no respect, no cooperation, no kindness.
Have you tried giving instructions? My experience is everyone is different and some people need to be told what to do. Is that a fit for you? Maybe not then move on.
I feel like as.a.woman I.have to.point out that, many times, a woman orgasming or not is not.your fuck's fault.
I would also.like to point out that it is harder to orgasm in "normal" sex than is it with oral, so.if your girl didn't orgasm don't take it personally, pull your pants up and go down on her
There’s also women who can not orgasm by in-and-out movements (like: the act of fucking) and it just hurts them after a while. Had to find that out the hard way.
Positions and angles of attack can matter. Something that feels good for one girl does nothing for or hurts another. And it's not necessarily a matter of "I like this position" because it's about how your two bodies interact. It's very possible you both like different things. I had a girlfriend fairly early on where we pretty quickly realized I liked this and she liked that, and we'd take turns doing the other's favorite. Dynamics of sexual relationships became a lot less adult after high school.
Or, first ask for directions, go down and stay down, keep listening and doing exactly what she says, until she gets there first. THEN bring your dick to the party. For many of us the second and successive orgasms are much quicker and easier to achieve, even from penetrative sex.
"It's ok babe, I'm good, my thighs are sore."
"No, I'm gonna get you off tonight!"
Sometimes the kind thing to do is just fake it. It doesn't mean the sex was bad, it doesn't mean I wasn't satisfied. But getting to the Big O is often times just too much trouble.
Most men are a lot more receptive to input than many women give us credit for. For the mist part, men do not want to be known as a terrible lay. If your man doesn't think he needs pointers, get someone else to treat you right.
That one was A) a joke and B) a joke about shaming those unwilling to learn for not being willing to learn. Not about shaming them into being better in any way. What do you think I am, a Catholic parent?
I know the tone of this is supposed to be "haha you suck" but if you fake it then you're only going to make the guy keep doing the thing that didn't work. Help them learn how to be better because they can't feel what you're feeling.
I'm in the "multiple orgasm" camp but it has happened a couple times where I'm not really in the mood (stress etc) or the sex has gone on too long (chafing, boredom) where there's not a specific thing my husband should start or stop doing long term and I don't want to impact his experience. It's only been like 3 or 4 times in the last 15 years.
Let's be honest, two girls kissing, I have never seen anyone have an issue with that as long as they also kissed boys. Also kiss is a euphenism here. Yes lesbians were seen as wgtow and somewhat persecuted but bi-curious hetero girls? Absolutely never seen that even hinted at. In fact a lot of pop culture put that on a pedestal. Because it's hot.
Honestly, yeah! If it's not going to happen, fine, that's life sometimes. If I'm doing something that doesn't work for you, or you want something different, how tf am I supposed to know that? I'm not psychic ffs. If you fake an orgasm, you get what you deserve.
Lol, you sound really angry. If you want to get better at this, you should probably remove your ego from the equation here and look at it objectively.
I see a lot of anger from both genders these days on social media. Take a step back from all of that and date people who are not into all that shit. It will turn your brain into mush. :)
Social media is harmful for you. It's become even worse than the news now, since it's actively targeting you with algorithms, trying to get you to be upset so you click around. It's going to serve you the worst of humanity fighting eachother.
Tbf most men don't have that much input in the process of making woman organisms. They're just expected to buy pickles and ice cream from time to time.