I will party a whole week long when he finally dies.... So hurry up Donald.
the one for Thatcher in Britain was LIT. There was a conga line in the street and "Ding dong the witch is dead" shot to the top of the music charts
For me, it's gotta be a bullet in a bunker, MAGA has to die cowardly and with a wimper so even those most faithful don't want to talk about it any more
I really, really, really hope he dies on the toilet. It's such a fitting place. Just, he takes a break from a meeting and doesn't come back. And when they go to look for him, he's slumped to the side. Unable to give anal birth to DJT the Turd. I hope pictures of it leak. I'd get it on a t-shirt.
On the toilet?
In public! Grabs
his heartthe area where normal humans have a heart, starts staring wildly, sweating profusely, all you hear is a giant wet fart, then his pants stain brown, he stumbles, knocks his head, bites his tongue, collapses.The end.
I won't party till Musk and the rest of the oligarchs are gone too.
Each one of these assholes gets their own special party week.
White House Press pack now have the opportunity to just grill who ever is at the podium next on questions comparing the Model X and then deaths related to Self Driving Incidents
They literally just notified 32% of the Department of Education last night that they were being fired.
Fuck these assholes and anyone who voted for them can fucking drop dead.
i mean, who needs Education anyways? in the future, when machines take all the jobs, there's no point in having an educated workforce. so better cut down on that money that schools are spending today. (/s)
The poorly worn suits make so much more sense now
Come on cuntservatives! Buy an EV like your king commands but look like a tree-hugging pussy or don't buy an EV and be a traitor to your king!
Which will it be?
Trump: slaps roof
Tesla: combusts
Ya. This shit is on the top of lemmy but how Ukraine just bombed the fuck out of Moscow and agrees to a cease fire with America reestablishing military support and intelligence services to Ukraine is nowhere to be seen.
Wouldn't both parties need to agree to a cease fire for it to take effect? So far, Ukraine is the only one that agreed.
Protip: you are much less likely to be bombed if you don't start wars.
Fuck Moscow.
OK Tankie
Literal used car salesman as president. 🤦♂️
Do these idiots not realize that it's Tesla's association with nazis that's killing sales? How did they think this was going to help, Republicans are suddenly going to start buying electric vehicles?
Yes. That was the goal, the God-King ordering the masses to buy Tesla.
Honestly they may just ignore this one, as much as I hate it there's a decent bit of overlap between the car community as a whole and MAGAts. Though it's also possible they could interpret it as "get electric cars" at which point we may see more EV converts which I would love. The mere concept of an electric 1995 Toyota 4runner makes me harder than the Rock of Gibraltar.
Why isn't Elon wearing a suit?
He will wear the costume when his war against democracy is over.
Disgusting. No way for a President to act.
Yeah! He shoulda stuck to selling beans from the Oval Office, like a respectable con man!
SAD.
Title of his memoirs.
This looks like an SNL sketch. People keep expressing sympathy for the onion writers, but really, how does one even parody this? Just shot for shot, word for word something a satirist would come up with.
(ChatGPT story)
Americans Celebrate Having One Regular Day, Say It’s “Exactly What They Needed”
New York, NY — In an unprecedented turn of events, Americans across the country are celebrating what they are calling “the most normal, regular day in recent memory,” marking a significant break from the chaotic, unpredictable rollercoaster of modern life.
“It’s honestly been a while since I’ve had a day like this,” said Karen Thompson, 42, of Dayton, Ohio, who reported that her Tuesday included nothing more than answering a few emails, picking up groceries, and getting a slightly-too-hot coffee at her local Starbucks. “I didn’t get any bad news. No surprise work projects. I even made it through traffic without being rear-ended by a guy in a Dodge Ram. It was a good day. I’m feeling rejuvenated.”
In cities from coast to coast, Americans woke up to the kind of day they hadn’t experienced in months: no major scandals, no worldwide crises, no seismic shifts in public opinion. For once, the news cycle wasn’t dominated by geopolitical unrest or trending hashtags. In fact, the only noteworthy event was that the Wi-Fi went out for about 15 minutes — and even then, no one freaked out.
“I haven’t had a day this uneventful since... I don’t even remember,” said Jack Morris, 29, from Austin, Texas. “I didn’t even get an email with ‘urgent’ in the subject line. I was able to enjoy lunch without my coworker telling me they’ve started a podcast. It was just me and my turkey sandwich, and honestly, it was great.”
At a press conference held to commemorate the event, a spokesperson for the National Association of Regular Days (NARD) explained that the organization was “thrilled” to see this rare occurrence of calm, adding that they hope it signals the beginning of a new era of moderation.
“The public has long been craving a moment to just breathe,” the spokesperson said. “We’re seeing a nationwide trend of people taking an actual break from the chaotic ‘always on’ mentality. It’s almost as if they’re starting to realize... hey, maybe a day of normalcy isn’t so bad after all.”
While some have expressed concerns that this "regular day" could be the result of a political conspiracy or an alien invasion disguised as mundane life, the overall mood across the nation remains overwhelmingly positive. Social media has been flooded with #OneRegularDay memes, with people praising the "non-urgent vibe" of the day.
“It’s been great,” said social media influencer Mia Stewart, 23. “No pressure to be perfect, no need to overshare every moment of my life — just a regular day. So glad we could all experience it together. Honestly, I think I might do it again tomorrow.”
At press time, the news cycle had already shifted back to unpredictable chaos, but Americans remained hopeful that a few more normal days might be just around the corner.
I figure The Onion just has to full on go the opposite direction.
-Trump Returns Funds to Ukraine: Turns Back on Russia.
-Functioning Government Returns to the United States
-Democrats Embrace The Left
Headlines no one could believe and stories about things basically working like they should.
This is basically what killed South Park in 2016. Trump became president and you can't even parody that, because You can't think of anything more absurd. Except maybe electing him for a second time.
50 years ago, the president advertising a product probably would have lead to investigations
Now it barely makes the evening news.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Checkers_speech
It did, but he got the VP nom anyway. And he went on to fundamentally reshape the Republican Party over the next twenty five years.
Honestly, every time I see an SNL skit recently that mimics one of the latest events I keep saying this is sad because as crazy as they get, I feel like the real event was so much crazier. The skits just make me sad because I'm just being reminded of how fucked we are.
Reporting trump doing nice things for liberals is how they should approach it. IMO.
This looks like an SNL sketch.
Ohh, I kept waiting for something funny to happen, but now I get it - it won't.
:DSNL have been getting alot it lately with all the material they are getting from trump admin.
It's not like it's a surprise. Remember how he did a photoshoot with a can of beans, because the owner of the brand said he liked him?
This gives me major late night car dealer commercial vibes. My English to Trump is terrible however I have faith that someone write Trump doing the narration for this commercial.
If you haven't heard infomercial musak playing every time he starts talking you haven't been living.
There’s no pretending who’s calling the shots anymore. The monkey was asked to perform. He is giving his best performance and everyone is watching the (shit)show.
Americans electing a used car dealer to the Presidency is, frankly, the fate we deserved.
He seriously was being a car salesman. A photographer got a shot of his taking points.
Heh, Trump reeks of used car salesman energy.
Well, yeah. Remember the string of bankruptcies and unpaid workers who he stiffed?
Please let this sink the stock even more.
It definitely won't help. "The most unlikable person on earth being associated with our brand is tanking our stocks, what do we do? I know, well ask the second most unlikable person on earth to help."
Yeah...I fully predict there will be a TARP bailout for Tesla.
One of the only times I'd put Trump at #1, because he's just such a #2.
Tesla sales are tanking because of Elon's embracing fascism and this is the best they could come up with to fix it
Just lean harder into it and hope the guy who hates electric cars can sell electric cars
It has to be bad if they resort to trying to sell EVs to climate change deniers.
Maybe this is secretly how they save the environment. Coal rollers switching to EVs. And Putin launching the nukes causing a nuclear winter. Global warming solved.
And how do they reconcile this with his administration's pro-destroy-the-environment agenda?
It's not about the environmental aspect of the car for them, it's just another luxury sports vehicle to the buyers this is pitched at. Its fast, expensive and a desirable brand is all they care about, being electric is just a 'cool quirk' of it.
Were the brand to become really toxic and widely unlikeable by the general public then even the wealthy vapid types would be turned off it. Let's hope we can get the momentum there, as the only buyers left would be the pro-EV MAGAs with money, and I very much doubt that's a large enough demographic to keep Tesla afloat.
Microplastics from the tires
Why is musk standing like his feet are afraid of each other? He looks like a proper ninny.
hes wearing lifts.
Makes room for the marionette
he's getting ready for that star jump. crowds just love it.
You guys have retirement savings?
Enough to retire for about a week.
Hey now, I also have a week of sick leave saved up. I’d just have to pretend to be sick (and provide a doctor’s note for my absence) for an entire week before retiring for a week.
It's insane that both of them think this will help...
They truly don't understand that the vast majority of Americans fucking hate them. And the ones that do like one of them, already like both.
Zero people will have any change of opinion because of this.
They truly don't understand that the vast majority of Americans fucking hate them.
Do we know this for sure?
Oh, it will help. Elon can afford to tank the losses from share price fall, then he'll grab loads more with a discount and there will be an eventual rebound. And then we will have the very first trillionaire in the world.
I guess one of the reasons for Musk to murder Twitter shares was to test how effectively he can tank the financial damage and still ride it out before going full nuclear on his companies.
Reminds me of one British twat called Humphrey Smith, who owns all companies as unlimited and tanks all legal expenses himself so he can do whatever the fuck he wants with them and with staff. Oh, he also owns a town and does whatever the fuck he wants there too.
At some point, the bill is due. If the stock isn't producing dividends, then it's a growth stock. If the stock stops growing, or balances back to reality with their ledger sheet, then they'll realize the growth isn't happening because their sales are dropping like a rock, their market penetration is negative, and nobody wants to buy a vehicle associated with an actual, real life, Nazi who's spent the better part of the last 3 months making everyone in the world's (and especially American's) lives a living hell.
Tesla was massively overvalued because Elon had people convinced he was a genius billionaire inventor who was going to turn Tesla into a "Energy" play. Also, he wasn't a Nazi manipulating world governments, forming up DOGE, firing thousands of government workers, causing planes to crash, endangering everyone's lives, and threatening to get rid of one of the very few good things to exist in this country: social security and medicaid/care.
Nobody has a crystal ball to the future, but I seriously doubt the Tesla stocks will make a rallying cry to get back to even close to where they're at. At least not without a subsequent sell-off.
There's just too much risk and volatility without any profits. And in the April 22nd-29th (whenever they choose to have it that week) earnings report, we're going to see a real bloodbath of a growth stock that's been overvalued by hundreds to thousands of a percent which fails to produce dividends or payouts to their shareholders, having a sharp, sharp line down for their quarterly earnings, with another quarter doing the same, and the one after that, etc.
It will crater.
The market can remain irrational longer than we can remain solvent, sure. But it eventually corrects. Even if it takes a recession/depression to trigger that.
I'm still wondering, do they have an advicing team or something like that or do they just always act on their own, on instinct ?
Because if they do, it's either they never listen, either the advisers are at least as delusional and that's even more baffling.
They're surrounded by ball-gargling yes men.
I remember the last time an EV was parked up outside the white house. That went really well for everyone. /s
(2021 Lordstown Motors Endurance)
Trump finally caught up with the versions of him in the parallel universes where he wasn't born of a rich family and is now a car salesman. Just like the universe intended.
In the best universe, his mother's abortion didn't fail so spectacularly.
The richest man on Earth for now
The cool thing about being a trillionaire is that you can fall a long, long, long way and still be the richest man in the country.
Doubly so if you drag everyone else down with you.
Trump's cybertruck has a chance to do the funniest thing.
Surely the solution is to double down and take another round of special K to feel better?
Triple the dose and he'll feel like his dad loved him.
Not as much as his step sister though.
selling crappy cars to dumb people is probably the role that suits trump the best.
And from now on MAGA loves EVs!
NSFW ish
Tap for spoiler
It’s about fellatio tho. You should check it out if you aren’t American and know science words.
NSFWish (select to expand)...
Esoterical Fun Fact: Peter North was rated as one of the best partners to have sex with by female porn stars of the time, because of the size of his penis, and his love making skills.
Edit: Its dry humor guys, related to the parent comment that this comment is replying to (he's one of the actors in the image; his name is mentioned). Relax.
Every time I see your copyright notice the day that text gets reproduced by an LLM verbatim draws nearer.
Is Elon still the richest man in the world?
Sadly yes, and by a lot.
Memorizing the look of this super expensive tesla for no reasons at all.
