"Become a dragon" covers most, if not all, of the rest.
Really dependent on which mythology's dragon you become. That aside, being a dragon in modern day would probably be very hazardous. Better hope you're a small enough dragon to not cause much property damage while figuring out your new body, and to stay mostly undetected, because otherwise you're likely to end up dead, or in captivity somewhere in fairly short order.
Assuming D&D lore, polymorph fixes that problem pretty easily. A polymorphed dragon could blend into society pretty well, and if you want, you could still get a ride into international waters (to avoid setting off national airspace warnings), fly down to some random jungle tribe, and be worshipped as a god. Plus nigh immortality (assuming aging only affects your polymorphed form and you continue to age at the rate of your dragon-self).
yeah but i dont wanba be a dragon
Weirdo.
I was thinking the same.
always relax
sphincter prompty unclenches
Always Relax is the true Instant Death potion. Why stop at the sphincter when every muscle and blood vessel in your body suddenly stops contracting.
Master alchemist: You idiot! You can't make a "potion of relaxation" by watering down a paralysis potion! It just takes longer to work.
Takes "always relax" potion
Where's the potion which lets me do two chicks at the same time man.
Ah, the million dollar potion...
I adore this movie. But not enough has changed to completely date this masterpiece, and I have very conflicted feelings about that.
Edit: for anyone in food-service or retail instead of IT, watch "Waiting" instead.
- Drink the purple one
- Jump off a cliff
- Realize I took the wrong purple one
- Still relaxed though
- survive an crawl up again, relaxed
- drink the right purple one
- jump off the cliff again
- realize what flight actually stands for
- still relaxed though
"Huh? Oh... OH!!" Dies instantly
Man’s greatest enemy is one’s own self
-Neitzche. Or was it Shakespeare?
It was Pol Pot
Anyone can talk to plants,it's getting them to talk back that's tricky
just eat some of their cousins (i know nothing about biology) then look at them for long enough and I'm sure you'll hear something
And you don't want "plants talk to you" either.
Then they never shut up.
Dragon for sure. It's getting increasingly embarrassing to be a human...
There's wonderful cliffs around my city, l dream of being a dragon and sleeping on the cliff basking in the sun all day
Hoard then eat enough gold and other valuable materials and you become a god.
Free fire resist, flight, and fire breath? Count me in.
Talk to Plants.
Just so I can tell vegans what their food is saying.
You can also be the greatest arborist.
my furry ass saw "become a dragon" and didn't even read the rest
Awww who's a good dragon
pets the said good dragon
These kind of posts always have weird ones like Poison Breath.
Why would I want that? To kill people? Mustard gas is easy to make and I'd just get arrested anyways.
The only reasonable use I can think of is if you wanted to start a pest control company... woo?
Instant death may be useful if it's like the Death Note, or else you'd also just get arrested.
Instant death may be useful if it’s like the Death Note, or else you’d also just get arrested.
At some point an investigator figures out that you're the only person that's connected to all the deaths, however remotely. As the years go by, you've done lunch together a few times and are on a first name basis. Their efforts are fruitless, and they can't prove anything. But now you have an FBI surveillance van permanently parked outside your home, and that investigator keeps coming around.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels permanently suicidal.
You can always relax by noticing your body & mind relaxing instead of trying to force them to relax
From the creators of "Just don't be sad", here comes: "Just relax"
I like to focus on my shoulders. If I notice they're scrunched, I lower them, and the rest of my body tends to follow suit.
I'll take the "talk to plants" potion since it changes LITERALLY NOTHING, and I don't want any additional powers myself.
Except now you're wracked with crippling guilt every time you mow the lawn, chop up veggies for dinner, or walk by some poor little scrawny weed growing out of a crack in the sidewalk.
Ok thats a half empty glass of sunshine if I ever saw one. How you guna spend your time conversing with something that'll live less than a year, shit out a bunch of seeds, then die? Why not find out what the Oaks, Cypresses'ses', Hemlocks and Maples have to say about the day America was conceived, birthed, crawled, walked, flew, first fuck last fuck. Shit I'd retire and walk the trails listening to stories from something that has expierienced 3 life spans.
"Become a dragon" is right there, so why would anyone even choose anything else!?
When my cat yawns I want to stick a finger in his mouth, and dragon talons are far too big for that.
As a dragon you could have a pet Tiger. Your talon will fit in their mouth.
You mean a *dead dragon?
Can I in become a dragon and then rebecome as many times as needed?
Joke's on you, I'm my own worst enemy!
Become a dragon that hunts billionaires to make a horde of wealth for yourself. I'd watch that.
I think the sleeper is "talk to plants". Remember how Aquaman used to be the joke in the Justice League? And I'm not well versed in comics, but Poison Ivy comes to mind as being pretty powerful.
Nah, if anything talk to plant is pretty weak. Poison Ivy can control plants, which is significantly stronger. Control plants let's you force them to grow big and grapple people, or produce particular toxins in people's faces, etc. Talk to plants lets you ask plants very politely to do something, but they are still just normal plants, and can just say no.
Plants can't say no because they can't talk. But you can talk to them.
DM here. Note that this is "talk to plants" and not "tame/control plants." BIG difference. You basically just add "plants" to the languages section of your character sheet, and I have to figure out what accents ferns, oaks, and grasses have.
I feel like all of these are just normal things in the real world aside from become a dragon.
We got steroids, weed, you can already talk to plants, you can just buy a plane ticket to fly.
Modern life is wildly magic.
I mean if I have to keep living, can't I at least kill then slowly and painfully?
Flight for sure.
the woke moralists want you to believe you can’t already talk to plants
