For real though. Tough to get through.

English is not the only language with homonyms.

In French if something isn't functioning properly you say that "il ne marche pas." Now, in my studies, "marche" means "walk." So to me that says "it doesn't walk." I asked a native speaker about that and they told me, no, that is not what that means.
- It's like saying your fridge is not running.
- Wait till you find out about du coup -
- Same in German. "Es geht nicht."
- I'm English Canadian with a lot of French Canadian family and friends ... I don't speak French but I've been around it all my life .. here's one for you ...
  
  Le ver vert va vers le verre vert
- Same in Romanian. "Nu merge".
You’re a homonym.
English should just adopt hanzi. All problems solved.

Soldier, plug, varnish, wax seal, some dude, seal?

Navy seal , rubber seal, wood seal wax seal, Seal Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel, animal seal
- Ah yes, the navy seal in the middle of the desert.
some dude.

My.....my lawn...
- Is this a "get off my lawn" joke? Sorry, just confused. :P
  
  If it is, don't worry, I'm sure my age has little to do with my ignorance. It's probably more that I just don't follow celebrities.
- I think that's famed character actor Morris Chesnut.
- Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel
Soldier Dunno Brush Stamp Seal Seal

Ohh... Seal seal seal seal seal seal

Military, air filter, paint brush, wax seal, Mike Tyson, sea-lion!

That's Seal, a Bri'ish musician/singer.
- Oh yikes, I’ll have to check him out now, thanks!
- whoooooooooosh
What's the common word for the first row?
- They're all "seals"
- The top row was a little harder for me as I saw soldier, rubber something, and paint brush. The bottom I saw all seals.
  
  The top is Navy Seal, rubber something seal, and sealing wood with a paint brush.

Three of those are the same thing and the other three are named after each other

Navy seal isn't named after seal the animal. It's an "acronym" for sea air and land.
- And the fact that it’s a marine mammal is a coincidence? No it’s a backronym much like every other law’s name
- SAAL?

I don't get how English is hard. I learned it when I was just a kid.

Google for a poem called "The Chaos". It starts with "Dearest creature in creation". Read it out loud without errors.

Here it is. I was going to paste the whole text in here until I realized what a monster of a poem it is.
- As a native speaker, dang, that's not easy!
  
  A few words I'm not sure on.
- And, have you read it aloud? ;-)
  
  But it is good that you provided the link instead of the text, as the link contains a load of additional information about the poem and its author.
This poem could be the final test of an English course.
I can't read easy English out loud correctly.
That's not easy, Mr. Fox, sir
- When tweetle beetles fight, it’s called a tweetle beetle battle.
  
  And when they battle in a puddle, it’s a tweetle beetle puddle battle.
  
  AND, when tweetle beetles battle with paddles in a puddle, they call it a tweetle beetle puddle paddle battle.
  
  AND, when beetles battle beetles in a puddle paddle battle and the beetle battle puddle is a puddle in a bottle they call it a tweetle beetle bottle puddle paddle battle muddle.

yeah…

And one of those blind dudes was French, no less

Why use lot word when few word do trick?

This post double plus good.
Actually, that's an argument for a more expanded vocabulary. You can use single words to consolidate.

Fun fact, the word 'set' has 430 definitions.

That's quite a set of definitions
- If the set of definitions contains the word set, does the English language implode in a recursive cascade of paradoxes?

Come on, you can't count Seal the musician... That's not a common name in English speaking countries. I've never heard of anyone else named Seal

English is only "hard" because it is shit. There ain't no rules for nothing. All the "rules" have exceptions, which have exceptions, which have have exceptions.

Too wide spread, too many accents
Invented by an island of rock throwing mongrels.

English is easy. The hardest part about it, which some other languages also feature, is a poor correspondence between the written and spoken language.

That feels intuitively correct to me, but I'm not sure if I'd say any language is particularly "easy". Language is complex, complicated and only makes sense in the context of understanding human communication. Although language is also more intuitive than we give it credit for.

I think spoken Japanese is possibly "easier" than spoken English, but written Japanese (outside of digital media) is essentially impossible for me because I don't have Kanji memorized.
- I mean yes it's a bit under-nuanced to describe any language as "easy" or "hard". The single biggest influence is whether you're already familiar with a similar language. English is going to be much easier if you already know German; Japanese will be much easier if you already know Okinawan. And as you say, written and spoke language can be quite different.
  
  That said, I don't think it is the case that all of the different factors trade off against one another perfectly. I would expect them to trade off against one another to an extent though, because I would imagine there are forces which cause overly complex languages to become simpler, and more simple languages to become more complex. (One aspect of complexity comes through redundancy, such as requiring agreement between inflections of words when the inflection only conveys information already imparted from the rest of the sentence. But extra redundancy can aid in understanding because the listener generally doesn't hear everything perfectly)
  
  But yeah, some languages just have incredibly complicated and picky grammar, whilst others have relatively simple grammar. As an English speaker, Japanese grammar has lots of unfamiliar features but could still be simpler than Finnish, which also has lots of unfamiliar grammar but which is very complex.
I feel like English is fairly easy to get into and have a correct conversation level. But that it's insanely hard to master.
- I have no reference for the relative difficulty of languages to master, except that I know that all languages are incredibly hard to master to the level of a native speaker.

Damn. I keep being surprised by how many people take stuff online way too seriously. Good meme, you get my seal of approval

- Needs to have a facemorph of Seal (the singer).

Navy SEAL is an acronym. Doesn’t count.

So? "Laser" and "radar" are acronyms, but we use them as words
But an acronym that was intentionally made to be the name of the animal, so it's just a duplicate, like all three of the non-singer seals, which just mean to lock something in or out. There are only 2 meanings of seal here, plus a singer who named himself after one of them.

Through, though, hiccough, slough, bough, and cough don't rhyme

Who says hiccough
- it's pronounced "hiccup" but some people don't respect the spelling and write it phonetically.
I'd argue that even cough and rough are different. There's probably more.
Nobody says hiccough.
- Literally everyone says that word. They just pronounce it hiccup.

But all the three non human non animal things basically do the same thing. They prevent things from leaking out or in. So the word seal is apt.

Count to two too many times

You should edit in "Try to" at the start to incorporate all 3!
- All three are in there already?

The lack of Lucille jokes here has me worried about the future of Lemmy

Sealy language

3 of those are basically the same definition. And one of them is just named after another one of them.

two are proper nouns, so dont count. three mean 'to close something' (more or less). one is an animal.

i see really only two homonyms in total.

One isn't even a proper noun, it's a massaged initialism:

United States Navy Sea, Air, and Land (SEAL) Teams, commonly known as Navy SEALs...

And the wood one looks more like stain to me
Humans are animal too, so there are 3 animals
- seal is his name, not his species

English sucks ass and it's all the fault of people who pronounce the word "avove" with two distinct vowel sounds like weirdos.

(Jk jk I don't mean it please don't hurt me wedge/schwa distinguishers.)

Avove? How are you supposed to pronounce it?
- Shite. How did I not notice I'd typo'd.
  
  I meant "above."

i didn't understand this at first

I don't get the first row, somebody feel like helping me out? Lol

A Navy Seal, an oil seal for a machine, and someone applying wood sealant.
- Ohhh they're all seal ok, I thought the top row was something else, the brush threw me off, I thought the center one was some sort of "brush" for something mechanical, like how you have a "brush" for motors and then some military unit nicknamed brushes lol
Both the first and second row are the same. Seal.
- What kind of "tHaNk yOu fOr yOuR sErViCe"-brain nonsense made you think anything but a sliver of people would look at "man with gun" and think Seal?
Squadie, some kind of filter, painting.

For ~~real~~ seal though.

Pretty sure seals were named after seals.

If you'd like to have your mind blown by something you haven't ever thought that hard about before in your life, sit down and try to come up with a list for all the definitions and use contexts for the word "set."

"Run" is another good one.

Oh, it ain't easy, but it sure is fun :)

English is not hard. Nobody uses seal but me.

I put my seal on the letter, he got it wet, and Seal couldn’t read it.

You tell me

Found the Pat McAffee fan.

Who?
- It's me, I'm the Pat McAfee fan. Don't know how they found me before I commented though, that is worrisome.
- Sports podcast in America. They went on a 5-10 min rant about all the different types of Seals their are. All of which are in your picture.

English programmer rounding up: ceil

Its a coozy