If their eyes do that, they might be autistic.
Source: am autistic.
My eyes always do this and I was diagnosed with ADD as a child after an IQ test. Teachers before always accused me of being dishonest and I got into all sorts of trouble because of it.
a lot of people still read me as dishonest
I grew up around a lot of pathological liars, and still have two in my life. I detect it so quickly. It's not like the kind of lying I do, pathological lying is compulsive and sometimes pointless. It has nothing to do with body language, it's all verbal clues.
I have a really good friend now that I would have written off as a pathological liar. But I had to be around him because we kept getting assigned together. What happened was once he detected that I don't care about machismo or if he could beat me in a fight, he stopped lying because he was no longer trying to impress me.
Try reading to the final panel.
They can't. There were eyes in that panel, and therefore their eyes looked away.
I did. What I said still applies.
It's a fun subject to talk about regardless. The final panel makes it funny, sure, but I imagine a lot of people like discussing their variety of social quirks with others... and this definitely provides the opportunity.
Alternatively, another social quirk that exists is responding before fully processing something... replying to an email / comic / thread before reading the content completely... THAT is typically a behavior seen in people with ADD.
What? This is technically written so it doesn't apply to him.
And if their arms or legs are crossed, they're probably feeling cold.
Source: am cold.
It's actually both.
Allists! Your eyes are not that interesting! They're boring to look at 10 minutes straight.
Or theres a FUCKING SPIDER ON THE CEILING
Depends. Is it cute?
ND salesman checking in. Yep, I hate this lie.
There's a variety of reasons - some social, some have to do with memory. Brain wiring is weird. When recalling conversations with people I will 'half insert' them into the physical space and make eye contact with 'them' as I would have in the original conversation. For me it helps with recollection; for the other parties involved I may as well be addressing ghosts.
I went to an alternative school for a bit, and one of the “behaviors” I would get punished for was not making eye contact. I still don’t feel comfortable with it.
Everybody says they’re autistic.
I know, right? I wish everyone could experience what us autism enjoyers live with everyday.
Living with autism is so fun that many of us are or have been depressed for long periods, some even considering suicide.
Had me ready to rant until the last frame... well played.
I've never heard averting eye contact means that. I do it all the time because I'm scared of making eye contact not because I'm disinterested or dishonest
In some cultures, direct eye contact is actually aggressive and disrespectful. Kind of jarring when it happens when you come from a culture where eye contact means you're paying attention...
The thing about body language is that it's always context specific. Yours is a common reason in a lot of people who avoid eye contact, especially with strangers. However, if someone who usually doesn't avoid eye contact suddenly does it, then it's often because they're disinterested or dishonest. Or just nervous or stressed. I don't know. Maybe I'm full of shit too, but I don't call myself an expert.
I think that's the joke
What’s disappointing is that body language can definitely help to determine how people are feeling or what they are thinking, but the people who are into it the most just seem to forget it’s not a foolproof method to completely determine the truth.
Youtube Title: "Top CIA agent reveals TOP TEN telltale signs a SUSPECT is LYING"
Thumbnail: a person doing normal things like... scratching head... or touching face
🙄
Also fuck those "crime stories" youtube channels where the narrator keep mentioning the suspect's "body language" like if its indicative of anything.
Like bruh, they already read the results of the case, of course they know that the suspect is guilty/innocent, that "body language" is just hindsight.
What they won't say is that it has nothing to do with any specific body language. You know how some people talk with their hands?
Well everyone has little things like that. In poker they call it a "tell" but that's still inaccurate compared to what interrogaters are really doing.
They can't actually tell if anyone bullshits or not. They have facts about the case, or in the CIA example they have intelligence. They use lie detectors and what not to create anxiety in the
victimsuspect/asset. When someone is in sufficient fear, they will let information slip because the brain literally loses control over itself. Too much fear, like in torture, and the brain will force the person to choose whatever answer it feels like will result in self preservation.People brag about the times they were right, or the times they believe they were right. They won't mention the times when they were wrong, or will just convince themselves they were right about something. If they brag to the right people, they can make a living out of it.
Watching American true crime is painful when we are used to the UK system. Hang on you used a fucking polygraph? Are you actually serious? May as well just go "yeah that guy is giving me bad vibes, so I told him what to say to confess". Meanwhile in the UK they look for actual evidence and can't just tell you what to say to make a confession to something you didn't do.
Stuff like "You said you were at home and have never met them, this evidence shows your DNA on the victim. How can you explain that? "
It is pretty terrible when I watch an American docu and am surprised when a detective/cop or team seems to genuinely care and have a desire to help. So many are horrible people. Audit the Audit is a good one for putting those types on blast.
I have no concept of a law enforcement agency that does anything outside of try to coerce those society has deemed "problematic" into creating additional problems for themselves.
So, funny thing: a person's body language may or may not tell you something about what they're feeling, but it absolutely has an impact on how you perceive them. When you get advice to make eye contact, or not cross you arms, or ball your hands into fists and cock your arm (no, dude, I wasn't being aggressive; body language theory is such bullshit), it's saying less about what your internal mental state and more about how you're non-verbally communicating to others.
The bullshit part about body language isn't that it's not valid, because it is. The bullshit part is that there's some key that let's you interpret it unambiguously.
Some people avert their eyes when they lie. Some when they're disinterested. Some because they have social anxiety. I do it because I simply can't think clearly when I'm staring into someone's eyes, because I'm too busy drinking their souls. But when someone is talking and you avoid eye contact, whatever your reasons, they will tend to feel as if you aren't interested.
Anecdote time! The aunt of a friend was a local politician when Bill Clinton was running for re-election, and he stopped in town, gave a speech and mingled, so she got to meet him. She said his most amazing characteristic was that, when you were taking to him, you felt as if you were the only person in the room. He had no distractions, his eyes didn't wander to more important people, he wasn't thinking about other, more important things: when he talked to you, he had all of his attention focused on you, and was only listening to and talking to you.
That's what I think of when I think of effective body language. Regardless of what really was going on in Clinton's head, when he talked to someone, he was able to make them feel as if that's all he was doing: listening to and talking to them.
Lol your aunt just wanted to fuck Bill Clinton and you turned it into a life lesson on body language.
Oh, come on... everyone wanted to fuck Bill Clinton. Don't be shy.
Funnily enough, I feel like in most social situations people would think I was insane or overfocused on them if I kept steady eye contact - which I easily could. But I consciously decide to let my eyes wander every now and then to let them feel less pressure. Because honestly I doubt that the cashier or my daughter's kindergarten teacher wants me to think that I talk to them like they are the only people in the room and I am 100% focused on them. I especially prefer looking "to the side" when I listen because I am way too scared for people to think I am a maniac who wants to make them my whole world.
No idea why you were downvoted. Solid analysis!
And as you see you didnt say you are a body language expert and you seem like one so i guess the comic was right.
Fuck what others think. Your perception of my body is your problem. Not mine. I'm not trying to coerce people to do what I want like a politician.
Atlas shrugged, huh?
If their arm does this:
It means:
They are a NaziI just don't know what to do with my hands most of the time and sometimes shoulder pain...
Shoulder pain. I tuck my hands under my arms in such a way to kinda prop my shoulders into a position of comfort. Pretty much everything I do is just looking for the position of comfort all the time. I get some anxiety like most people from time to time, but my mannerisms are for every situation. Comfort is key.
This comic is perfect. I was starting to get annoyed after the second panel and it did exactly what I was thinking.
More fun: over time, find body language cues that others unconsciously replicate in conversation. When talking, do one of these very subtly. When they are talking do the same. Make up some interpolated meaning and commit to it with confidence.
In single deck blackjack, the house advantage is only a few percent. Likewise, you might have a similar advantage in interpolation, or maybe not. It really doesn't matter. If commitment and an increase in confidence are real, results will follow more than random chance.
Jokes aside: the eye contact one is interesting. I personally drive people insane with this quirk: when relaying a conversation I had with someone else I break eye contact to make it with the inferred (not present) party... typically by averting my eyes roughly a real person's distance away. This apparently is consistent enough where the person I am speaking with will repeatedly unconsciously start looking for that person where I am looking. I rarely get called on it - because it's silly from the other person's perspective... but it's funny to observe.
Diagnosed ADHD and my eyes move to my left when recalling information no matter how much I try to fight it. Drove my parents and teachers nuts because they thought it meant I was lying.
For quite some time it was assumed to be a micro expression indicating imagination. To the right was recollection I believe. While it's not based in scientific fact the show 'lie to me' covers a lot of common ones. Fun watch even though the concept is a bit dodgy.
ADHD myself. Reading faces is a lot of information - and when you are trying to recall or focus you will look away to reduce stimulus. It's similar to turning the car radio down when focusing or looking for something.
Damn. I just tried to... mimic (?) what you described, but then realized my eyes went to the right. When I tried again, but this time to the left, it felt so unnatural, but to the right or upwards feels comfortable and natural. Also ADHD, but I never thought that it left vs. right would feel so different for something like that!
How do you observe it if you're looking away?
The reaction?
Frequently they will turn their heads. If they know me and are accustomed to this quirk I see them occasionally "react" like: oh god damnit. I don't generally physically turn my body or anything - it's as if I'm addressing someone standing just to the side of them... as one might if you were speaking to two people. I don't really avoid eye contact so the act of breaking it for this action will typically pull the other person to look where I am. You probably have done the same when someone you speak to notices someone or something during a conversation and reacts.
Wow, people have a lot of strong opinions on body language, as if when anyone dares to read into it/does not get a hint they must defend themselves for acting a certain way.
I was just looking at the comments to see if anyone else spend too much time online and now sees a political compass in the 4 colour coded boxes.
I cross my arms when I'm cold, or my shoulders hurt, or it is just more confortable than letting my arms dangle.
I look up when thinking because it avoids visual distractions, as recalling specific detaiks with ADHD is already hard enough. When I want to bullshit someone or say something that isn't true as part of a joke I have no troubke maintaining eye contact.
Yeah, I know that is the punchline. Crossed arms and a stern look combined would be accurate for the yop left. Looking up while lying is common in young children. Body language asssumptions are based on common behaviors, just presented without any context or nuance and treated as universal.
Ironic misinformation is still misinformation :)
People who are lying often make prolonged eye contact as part of checking if you believe them.
I often cross my arms when relaxing. There was a guy I worked with who had pins in legs and arms from injuries sustained doing really stupid things on a motorcycle. He always told me I was holding in my emotions. Couldn't convince him he was wrong anymore than all those injuries convinced him to think before he leaps.
Had me in the first half ngl
Having unbreaking eye contact can also mean the person is dishonest. They can be trying to feign normal eye contact but overthinking it, they could also be trying to judge your reactions to figure out what to say in order to make the falsehood more believable.
Do y'all really think body-language tells are all bullshit? I'm beginning to think everyone on lemmy is 14-yo and autistic. Does no one understand context?!
Yes, arms crossed is usually a defensive posture, they're not liking what you're saying.
Yes, eyes averted is a tell for being uninterested or dishonest.
Yes, tilting one's head means they're open to listening, defenses down.
Freebie: If a girl smiles at you with her mouth closed: friendly. Showing teeth? Happy to be speaking to you. (A woman taught me that, say what you will.)
Of course there aren't hard and fast rules, but yeah, most body language means what it means. (Depending on culture and 100 other context items.) Fuck me, how do you people watch movies? Does the actor's body language leave you confused?
what if the hand does |(o . o(/ ?
Fullshit
What's it mean if I never break eye contact and maintain a blank expression?
People are probably worried about you or scared of you.
Ok so women cross their arms over their breasts about half the time I'm walking up to speak to them if we don't really know each other. I make a conscious effort not to stare at women's breasts because I was bad about it as a teen. It catches me off guard because I feel like they thought I was staring.
I'm a not totally ugly, six foot, in-shape man. I'm told that I'm charismatic. I have to walk up and initiate conversations with women I don't know generally several times a day, in a professional setting, for my job.
What is the deal with this? I hate it.
