Was a writing prompt that I’ve read quite a few years ago ago, copied below:
“You live in a world where each lie creates a scar on the liar's body. The bigger the lie, the deeper and larger the mark. One day, you meet someone that only has one scar; it is the biggest one you have ever seen.”
This is the story that followed, credit to wercwercwerc from Reddit.
He was a real good guy, through and through. Never met anyone quite like him since, never really expect I will either.
People like Joe don't come around often. Once in a lifetime maybe, if you're lucky.
Almost everyone I've ever met had the tiny silvered papercuts of white-lies on their fingers. It's a price of formalities, a camouflage of sorts- as everyone has a few, some deeper cut than others over the years; opened and reopened time after time. And not just that, but the larger cuts, silvery things on forearms and shins, necks or backs. People lie, it's just the way of things.
Sometimes the pain it worth the deception, the balancing scale plays out mentally before a person's mouth opens.
Joining the force was what I wanted. There was a lie I told myself: A Lie I scratched in deep, over and over again. I wanted to change, I wanted my parents to be proud: All lies, tiny scratching lines on my shoulder to create a strange and deceitful pattern that never seemed to heal completely.
In truth, I joined the force because I had nothing left. I joined as a last ditch effort to save myself from rock bottom. Among the elite, surrounded by the brave and the successful, I simply kept my head down. It felt like being a fox, stuck among a pack of wolves. Just being there in the first place felt like deception.
But then, there was instructor Joe.
I had more scars than most, and that earned little trust- but if people were politely cold with me, they were visibly frigid with Joe. See, he didn't have the traditional marks on his hands, he didn't have cuts and nicks along his arms, his face or neck: At a quick glance you might have thought him the most honest man alive. In fact, at first people did. A man in his fading thirties without scars?
That's like a god-damn unicorn. They're more myth and legend than person- yet there he was. Plain as day.
Everyone liked Joe that first week. Everyone wanted to be on good terms with him- I mean, who wouldn't? In a world of liars and cheats, proof reminded at every twist and turn of the road, who wouldn't want someone they could trust?
Well, that was before he took of his shirt in the locker-room. Before we all saw the hideous mark that covered half his back. One lie, but the most gruesome thing I've ever seen. From his shoulder blade to his ribs, it looked like a crashing comet of red and silvered white. A tiny portion of it just finally healing, a rough tear now recovered again.
It was all the same lie. That's something you can just tell sometimes, just know it. Usually you can tell how many times too, but whatever the number was which he'd said that aloud, I don't know.
He rarely spoke to begin with, issuing the orders with a stern smile, instructing as all the rest did. He was positive, encouraging, truthful: But that scar was on everyone's mind. Deep, dark, and terrible: Someone who could tell a lie like that... Well, there was someone to watch out for. In the end though, it was at the range when things went well and truly sour.
Live-fire runs, we'd done them a thousand times, but that day I guess someone forgot themselves. Maybe they thought too much on what and how and their brain skipped a beat, or maybe they were just careless. Regardless of the reason, a shot fired when it shouldn't have. Brass spit fire, Air swallowed metal, and lead took its first taste of iron, calcium, iron and dirt.
In that order.
We all stopped, eyes wide and watching that kid fall down real slow. First standing, staring with his hand pulling away- not even scared, just shocked. Red, like deep crimson soaking and spreading, he dropped down to his knees. Still, he wasn't even there yet, it hadn't quite processed.
That's when Joe caught him- and all the shouting erupted. The pandemonium, the first real training turned to action kicking in. Cries for "Medic!" and "KIT! Get the kit!" as people ran for the directions they thought mattered.
I was close enough to know that wasn't going to make a difference. Center of mass was what we trained for, the reason was straight and forward: Shoot to kill. Eliminate the target and move on.
So I sat there, weapon heavy in my hands as I watched Joe hold this kid, blood pouring out into the dirt like a faucet, and I listened to him repeat the words that cut deep. Over, and over, and over again.
"Hang on, look at me. You're gonna be alright."
"You're gonna be alright."
Oof.
This porcelain was tarnished but somehow brought a comfort that I remembered all to well. Streaks of auburn mixed to maroon and soon spurts of crimson peppered the liquid surface. MEDIC I shouted but it was too late. Here I sit, broken hearted
That hall of fame Reddit thread where a guy announced he will try heroin just one time, then comes back to explain how the experience was and how he will try again. Over the course of many posts we see persons entire life unravel as other posters scream of the top of their lungs for him to stop.
Never figured if it was real or scripted, but hella effective.
As a recovering heroin addict, I wholeheartedly believe his story. His later stories contained some region-specific drug slang and his post-recovery updates were the perfect amount of mundane and specific for me to recognize exactly the same feelings in myself.
Side note: if you're watching a movie or TV show, one thing that non-junkie writers never get right is withdrawal. They often show characters skipping withdrawal entirely, or show them mildly sick but still moving through the story without any real issues. Worst case, they'll show a character being sick and then totally fine after a short time. Huge pet peeve of mine. Really undersells the catch-22 you find yourself in when using heroin.
What withdrawal is actually like is pure, unadulterated misery and suffering for two weeks at minimum, followed by months or even a year of exhaustion, depression, suicidal thoughts, restlessness, and feeling like everything is weird and new. It feels like you're a reptile that just shed its skin and everything is raw including your emotions and thoughts. Those first two weeks are just nonstop puking, shaking, sweating, an uncontrollable urge to kick and jerk your body, total insomnia, scary and suicidal thoughts, full body aches and pains, and enough self-loathing to last a thousand years.
I made it three months cold turkey once before relapsing. Fucking never again. I honestly don't know how people quit dope before modern medications like Buprenorphine and Methadone.
Feeling like you want to break the cycle of addiction but knowing you can't get through the withdrawal is an incredibly scary and traumatic experience.
Have you watched Euphoria? I've never had experience with drugs like that but I feel it's got representation of addiction and withdrawals. Some recovering addicts say it spoke to them and others say they can't watch it because it's too triggering, so I'd totally understand if you haven't seen it. The special Rue episode in between the two seasons is spectacular at showing a recovering addict trying to talk sense into a struggling one.
Oh yea. /u/SpontaneousH was the account. I think about that story every time I read or hear something about Heroin. Even if it'd be fake, this story influenced my view of heroine more than any movie, video or article about it.
And in the posts continuing, he says, “no I’m not addicted. I can stop whenever I want”
I recall he disappeared for Multiple years and then came back saying he became a junk, had been in addiction clinics and was finally clean after years.
Not exactly a story, but a picture thread on Reddit where a guy posts a photo of his tattoos on his arms, and someone goes "how did you take this picture", so he posts a selfie showing him balancing a phone on his shoulder, and someone replies "wait how did you take that picture" and then he posts a photo of him taking a photo of him taking a photo... and this continues until he reveals multiple complex camera setups. Such a legendary thread.
Edit: here it is: https://imgur.com/gallery/JThDN
I remember that one!
The body builder forum that forgot how many days are in a week:
https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751&page=1
Gold.
The fact alone that it goes on for 5 pages!! Dudes could have used the time training lol
I was scrolling, amazed by the ongoing discussion - just to see this has only been page 1/5. Easter egg.
One of my absolute favorite videos of his!
Has to be trolling
Holy shit. You keep expecting it to end but they just keep going for 5 pages.
This is awesome.
My IP is banned. I've never seent his forum before. Tf?
Fucking hell 😂
Once on Reddit I read of someone who grew up in a house where they had a poop knife as part of their standard toilet tool set.
This person once found themselves asking for a poop knife elsewhere, casually, like anyone would ask for toilet paper.
I think a commenter called it "the Mashitty" in the replies, which I found hilarious. That story and comment will forever be remembered.
Hell yea the poop knife. His family had one because their shits would block toilets. He thought it was a normal thing to require and have a poop knife but after going to a friend's house and asking for it, he discovered that it was indeed (Samuel L. Jackson voice) not a normal thing to possess.
Imagine how shithouse their diet must be to warrant the need for a poop knife 🤮 drink more clear fluids and up the fiber intake jeeze
Disagree- as someone coming from a family with similar abilities, this is more related to volume and personal flexibility. Just because it's extra large doesn't mean you have been constipated or not eating enough fibre, sheesh.
Seems more like a bad sewer system or toilet installed.
Jeez! Terrifying. Sounds like something from It's Always Sunny!
This one never struck me as real enough to be exciting. Felt too obviously made up.
It's a real thing. (At least it says so on the packaging.)
There are several, but one that kind of haunts my mind is the story from the guy who experienced another life in a blackout and had it all torn apart by that fucking lamp.
The IT department greentext who kept doing nothing and installing Adobe Reader constantly
Was that the one with Google Ultron?
Yes
I think about the jitterbug crew regularly
"Today you. Tomorrow me."
This is the one I came to say.
I love this story, wish I still had the link.
This is the best one ever. I had forgotten about it and am literally laughing out loud
The gynecologist who always cut her patient's IUD strings super short because too many abusive partners were ripping them out.
WTF
Can we get a link on that?
Sadly no, it was from an old reddit thread I remember a couple years ago
I love this one
The swamps of Dagobah.
Came here to say this.
The Jolly Rancher story.
I was fucking eating. So as a warning, please finish your food before you read this.
God I shouldn't have looked this up
Yeah, I don’t recommend it.
The Jolly Rancher story.
Ok that was kinda funny though
The story about a wife complained her husband never wipe because it's gay when man put anything between buttcheek.
That's so gross.
The Cum Box is the first one that comes to mind. I'd really rather forget that one.
Don't forget the coconut!
So would I but here you are.
No poop challenge
The guy with the scat fetish that disappeared the moment his wish started to come true
... wut
I think this was it https://reddit.com/r/confessions/s/cJFm6eRXMi (it's not for a weak heart)
The early days of Internet bullet boards and forums, that focused on one specific niche. Where I stumbled upon the posts from time traveler John Titor or TimeTravel_0. Good times reading those and becoming fascinated with the what if aspect of it all.
El Psy Congroo!
For me that's The website is down and Missing Missy.
Missing Missy is hilarious.
Ted the caver had a real impact on me
What impact did it have on you?
Oh man, I haven't read that in a long time!
Tie between these two
The reddit coconut and maggots story
Girl has STD but his boyfriend would'nt have it checked he says cause it tastes like the rainbow
The origin of the "banana for scale" story. Every time I see a meme or a plushy or whatever referencing it I'm amazed how engrained it is.
What was its origin?
That's for them to know and for us to find out.
The poop post in Lemmy.
The one with the knife?
The poop knife is from Reddit. The Lemmy poop post they are referring to is probably the 3 day no poop post:
"I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?"
Two broken arms
Kevin
Classic
The safe
What was in it? Or did we ever get an answer?
Buttered bread-cat array.
Sadly, the original is lost to time, way back in the dial-up internet era. It was originally on the Darwin awards forum. It went on for pages and pages, all written in properly and formally. It was glorious.
The basic premise was 2 fold. 1. Buttered bread always lands butter side down. 2. Cats always land on their feet. Assume both of these as absolute facts. What would happen if you strapped a piece of buttered bread, butter side up, to the back of a car?
Incidentally, if anyone knows of a copy of the original, I would love to read through it again.
Wait wait wait! This was an internet story before it became a commercial?
I'm talking about this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8yW5cyXXRc
Correct, by over a decade. That commercial made me quite nostalgic.
The one I wish I could forget is the Clarissa comic about the little girl that is being horribly sexually abused by her father and everyone around her either knows and pretends that they don't, or just refuses to see the truth.
The fight of an aquarium owner vs the gigantic bobbit worm in his tank.
https://www.michiganreefers.com/threads/the-bobbit-worm-chronicles.84173/
At work and don't have time to read the whole thread, what happened?! Did he get it?
Do yourself a favor and save the comment, and read it later. It's a great read.
Waffle stomping
link for the uninitiated.
Oh shit I forgot about this one
Jolly Ranchers
Idk if it was only released online but... 'drrrr......drrrrrr....drrr...'
Junji fucking ito.
What is this about?
The Enigma of Amigara Fault by Junji Ito
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Manga/TheEnigmaOfAmigaraFault
Tl;Dr: psychological horror manga about goin in holes man...
Double dick dude, evnr though it was fake, I remember the initial post and it was awesome.
Two broken arms is a classic and was actually real
The swamps of dagobah is always good for some gagging
Then the jolly ranger story really gets me to vomit
Cum box
Was wondering how far I'd have to scroll to see this one. Those pictures are still burned into my mind.
For me it'd be Don't Even Reply: E-Mails from an Asshole.
Bunch of funny ones. Like someone offered a ride in a Prius for a long car trip between cities, he said he'd have to stop at a river to pour out some motor oil because he doesn't support the environment and had to make up for the environmental damage the Prius wasn't doing.
Waffle stomp
I wonder, in a few years, what will Lemmy's stories be.
The poop post and your advertisement campaign stopped by a strike have to be there
I hope some day, when people came back and read this story, they would be as proud of me as I am of them.
Does it have to be a true story? I love the story about the grandma who knitted a jumper or something for her grand son and accidentally summoned a demon. But she didn't understand and thought it was her grandson and he -the demon- just hung around an ate sandwiches and kept her company.
The adventures of Todd and Granny it's called.
The cumbox
I buried it down and you dig it back up with this comment!
I can think of a few. Jenny, Kevin, non zero guy, and Iranian yogurt.
I was looking for this post! Rent free in my mind for over a decade now.
Highly recommend. Weeb falls in love with a Japanese classmate and asks 4chan for advice. It is a whole saga of cringe.
The cumconut
Anon jerking off on his little cousin's face while she was asleep and getting caught. My innocence was lost that night, reading his after-action post.
Summarize it for a yet-to-be lost soul?
I'd rather not. I tried a quick Google search but I think I'm on a watchlist now. If you find it let me know. I just remember the pic he posted was an upset emoji. 😠 something like that but not exactly. He blamed 4chan of course. Sexual assault of a minor which isn't funny, but him getting his comeuppance is.
If you find it, please link me.
Just remember, you chose this path.
4chan, so uh, indelicate:
sister hung herself - must've been one hell of a strong rope.
Probably some of the classic r/NoSleep stories. I've been listening to the Borrasca podcast recently and.. damn there used to be some good shit there.
Not a single mention of Blowfly Girl
Nikocado avocado
blank room soup
John Titor 😂
Chuck Testa
Nullo.
