I love how the internet came together in the last few years and discovered that most men aren't washing their asses properly, despite it being made common knowledge by the classic MadTV sketch where Michael McDonald's friends are all getting divorced and his wife divorces him because he and his guy friends don't wipe their asses.
Wait but how do you wash your ass the wrong way?
I can see not the best way but as long as there's soap and water involved wrong seems harsh. So how badly do you have to fuck it up to be wrong?
What does a real need a bottle opening for? Just rip it off with your bare hands.
Can’t stand any of these masculinity targeted products. Also don’t flush any product down the toilet other than toilet paper. Those wipes clog sewers.
Real MEN don't touch their buttholes, they use a bidet. Check out now biMAN, equipped with a power hose so no grime gets left behind.
According to my proctologist, we Americans are cruel to our butts with over-use of toilet paper.
Never wipe but dab. Use a bidet. Start with a travel bidet, which is $5-$20, and you can fill them with warm water. Rinse liberally and dab, repeat until clean.
Don't worry about manliness. Being nice to your hemorrhoids is the adult thing to do.
By Karcher
I honestly can't tell if this website is being ironic
That's a very dumb name, but I really like the simple design and earth tone color of the bar itself.
On the other hand I don't think I'd like to smell like beer.
Bought beer shampoo for my dad once as part of a joke gift. It did not smell like beer, but did not smell good either.
I haven't bought beer scented soap from duke cannon but I have bought their solid cologne bars when I was looking for more sustainable alternatives to regular cologne. They smell decent and the scent lasts. The over the top masculine branding is cringe af though
Duke Cannon has some cringe to it, but they are surprisingly crunchy when it comes to the ingredients they use in things, including the aluminum-free deodorant that I like.
I was tempted by Naval Supremacy but I didn't like the smell (which totally should have been Bay Rum).
Naval Supremacy; Nasal Inferiority
Being a man is when you conform your freedom of choice to one of a few acceptable choices.
Expressing yourself, showing who you really, standing up to peer pressure is for pussies, you wouldn't want to risk people accidentally mistaking you with them sexually liberated folks by admitting you like electro-swing over country.
Let’s not forget that they probably don’t listen to much non-commercialized country and when they do the highly left-wing, union supporting, feelings having message probably goes right over their heads. I mean it has to, they’d necessarily throw a fit if they knew what they were listening to.
As a guy, real masculinity is being comfortable with your gender and not becoming uncomfortable because someone else expresses theirs.
Guys, we're workers, and problem solvers. We're also so many more things like fathers, sons, brothers and friends. Masculinity as a concept is outdated. Adapt, overcome, persevere. That's all you need.
Anyone telling you that you're unmanly because you have, or don't have something, or because you do, or don't do something, is either a fool, or selling you something.
Be a man, ignore their bullshit.
I am a man, therefore everything I do is masculine.
You know the most masculine activity I can think of? Going to the beach and digging a hole in the sand.
As a guy, I would like to thank you for this advise.
Don't forget your tactical Christmas stocking this holiday season! 💪
The whole tactical-style-for-not-tactical-thing makes me rage. Not because it exists, but because it's been picked up by the wrong demographic.
That sort of thing should belong to the realm of the ironic, and be worn by the person who has a bad joke to go with it.
Tactical baby carrier should be for the fun dad who uses it to make jokes about how you otherwise might notice the baby, and not the fragile guy who needs a shield to defend his masculinity in the face of raising his children.
It's like so much of these things started as a gag, and then got picked up by people who aren't in on the joke.
Tactical baby carrier should be for the fun dad who uses it to make jokes about how you otherwise might notice the baby
It still can be. The fun dad with tactical gear will reveal his fun-ness quickly enough. If the baby's binky is tactical black, but the multi-tool is Barbie™ pink, it might be a clue.
Is there anything more manly than washing clothes?
Washing the dishes with your manly muscles 😭🧽🫧
being as i do mine twice a week on average, no.
My birth certificate is proof enough that I'm a man. Now give me my strawberry Herbal Essences! 💪😡
Ohhhh YEEEEES...
I saw MAN CARD in the thumbnail and legitimately thought it said MAN CHILD and didn’t even question it.
Which would be so much funnier. Wanna fuck with me? A certified MAN CHILD?
They do the same exact thing in the pink aisle in the supermarket.
By making everything more so called feminine, and now more so called masculine, companies realized they can charge a premium and people will fall for the packaging gimmick.
That’s all I think it is.
I do like the man card bottle opener though. Would be a fun thing to bring to parties and holiday gatherings.
A bottle opener in your wallet sounds pretty dope, ngl. Then again, not having a multi-tool on your belt is a huge L for anyone that claims to be rugged and handy.
i find the Leatherman Skeletool has the best bottle opener, because you don't look like a jackass using it. you can open a bottle with a Skeletool without going "LOOK EVERYBODY, I'M USING MY MULTITOOL"
Yea you’re totally not manly enough if you don’t have a multitool and a big brass belt buckle
I only wipe my butt with sandpaper.
I let it crust over and sand it all off once a month.
Sissy people use that wimpy bidet but I use a pressure washer.
A man's music collection should consist of classic rock, country and blues
Does this give anyone else boomer vibes? Also, I suspect this is trying to invoke the Progressive Rock of the 1970s (Kansas, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Eagles, Supertramp, etc.) and not Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin or, you know, Elvis, The Beatles and the Rolling Stones
But then my man card expired in the early 1990s.
“A man’s music collection should consist out of classic rock and country. …… oh yeah and also blues. See we ain’t racist we added black music”
Lol bet they mean Eric “non-whites should be deported” Clapton and not BB King.
Real men use a bidet anyway.
And not because it's objectively better than wipes. ;)
real men don't clean themselves at all so that their musk is always noticed by everyone in the room they're in
These dudes are so uptight about masculinity. They could really use a prostate massage.
Used to kinda be like this back when I was religious. All this reaffirmating nonsense was because being gay would be the ultimate failure to my faith and family. Then my sister came out and the world didn't explode. My sister is braver than most manly men.
How do people even find such a shop
They're the type of people who click on Facebook ads
Only classic rock, country, and blues are manly? I didn't know metal, rap, and military marches were for little girls
It's a slippery slope. I heard if you listen to too many sea shanties you will start aggressively lactating.
~Babe, wake up! New feminization technique just dropped~
Man facts:
I listen to eurobeat and hard style
Its quite the norm in parts of Europe.
Had it been hard-core (from hell) i may have judged you but, even then, only as an xtc fiend.
For anyone curious, try dj mad dog : reset
Fair warning, it might be jarring on any mellow you might have going on. Eventually, when you've been raving long enough, you might find that, from time to time, you'll need sounds from the bowels of hell at 200 bpm just to feel something.
Speedcore my beloved.
Need me some good ol high bpm music from time to time
No one would blink an eye at a country rock cover of, "Gas gas gas". Hell they'd prob think the original was the knockoff.
Man card bottle opener
lol he has to use a special tool to open his bottles. Table edge is right there tough guy... or literally any hard object you can get about an inch of leverage with (so not your dick ayo), Belt buckle is possible, doesn't even have to be a special one. Keys, a dollar bill, lighter, principle doesn't change too much between them. Hell even your wedding ring... oh... awkward.
If you're really willing to take a risk, you can do it with your teeth. I wouldn't recommend doing this, but I would recommend telling these people it's "manly" to do so.
Dollar bill?
https://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Beer-Bottle-with-a-Dollar-Bill
also works for any random piece of paper but dollar feels like more of a flex, like lighting a cigar with a burning hundo (except you're not out a hundo after)
Anyone got a link for the bunghole wipes?
The Bacon Bouquet
scotts is the only way to go
Classic strawman
