Greentext @sh.itjust.works RmDebArc_5 @sh.itjust.works 2d ago

Anon has a problem with inaccurate game titles

83 comments

Counter Strike - You're attacking first

Double Dragon - Lacks even a single dragon

Freespace - Space is already occupied

Risk of Rain - Never rains
Black & White

Is in color
Control

Literally everything is out of control
Resident Evil:

Numerous non-residents are evil too
Dead Cells

Literally unable to die

Slay the Spire

The Spire slays you (I'm bad at it, okay)
Mortal Kombat 1 - This is the 12th game in the series
- See also: Battlefield 1
River City Girls

You can play as the boys.
>Dark Souls
>Souls emit light

>Hyper Light Drifter
>There's no car in the game

>Final Fantasy
>Has more than 10 sequels, hardly "final"
- >Dark Souls
  
  >Literally only one Dark Soul
- To be fair, DLC souls are pretty dark, and "drifter" also means "wanderer"
Team Fortress 2

No Fortress, nobody plays as a fucking team, and it's the third game.
- I technically it might be the first game on the account of the previous 2 being mods.
  
  Then it'd have been called Team Fortress 1.
> Legend of Zelda > You're playing as Link save for a few games

> Wolfenstein 3D > Best it can do is raycasting and 2D sprites scaled

> Valve Software Inc. > Is a game developer and publishing company, does not develop software for plumbing

> Epic Games > Nowadays only create Fortnite, which is the opposite of being epic
- > Enter the Matrix > No math whatsoever in the game
  
  Target audience is GPUs
- Legend of Zelda
  
  But you're saving Zelda, so I think it gets a pass. Link's Awakening is right out though, Zelda isn't even a character in that one.
Oxygen not Included: Starts with oxygen.
DOOM Eternal

game eventually ends
- See also: Duke Nukem Forever
  
  See also: Duke Nukem Forever
  
  See also: BioShock: Infinite.
  
  They were probably referring to the development time.
You know what, shout out to Concord here. The official definition of a concord:

agreement or harmony between people or groups.

Everyone did in fact agree not to play the game.
- I've read a wiki page about it, critics didn't even score it too low. To me it seems that the issue was that Sony tried to make something just to profit off, without considering making it fun or novel, unexpectedly people didn't want to pay for yet another multiplayer shooter without anything new.
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

Zelda doesn't even appear
- Hades 2: Hades is barely in it
No Man's Sky

Obviously I am up here
- Therefore you are a woman
  
  Assigned female at purchase
  
  "Oh, Trans' Sky"
- But you don't own the sky
  
  Take my love
  Take my land
  Take me where I cannot stand
> Final Fantasy
> For the 16th fucking time

Compare that to:

> Endwalker
> Literally walk to the final boss
> Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

> Not a single vice to be found

> House Flipper

> All houses are orientated normally

> Untitled Goose Game

> Has title

> Octodad

> Absolutely not a single octopus in the game whatsoever

> Golf With Your Friends

> No friends.
- I have to challenge the octodad one: He has a wife and children obviously he isn’t single !
- Oh wow, now I want to make one of those physics gimmick games where you fire houses out of a trebuchet.
  
  I will back this project on Kickstarter
  
  Because of the use of the superior siege engine, I thoroughly approve.
- I was thinking Vice City, no vices?? But I think I get what sort of vice you mean now
  
  For anyone else who still doesn't understand!
- With Octodad joke, are you implying that you didn't see through the disguise? If so, I don't think it fits with the rest and is confusing, tbh.
  
  You’re a very fun person
  
  Not so much that I didn't see through the disguise, more that the running joke of the game is that nobody else sees it other than the chef.
Dead Space

You are alive and fight in claustrophobic environments.
Dark Souls

Have white souls in it
They call it halflife because Gordon is middle aged
- He is 27 tho
  
  Ya, but look at what he does at his job. He'll be lucky to make it to 54.
  
  And G-Man puts him into space prison for about another 27 years. I say name sticks
>Battlefield 4

>Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield

>Pokémon Yellow

>Has other colors
- >Actually has 32 multiplayer maps which would constitute a battlefield
  
  Also:
  
  > Is at least the sixth game in the Battlefield franchise, with the most generous possible interpretation of what counts as a mainline game.
Counter Strike

Only initial strikes
- Switch sides after the first game, there's your counter strike.
  
  Nope, as everything is reset. In this universe it's clearly a new timeline independent of the first round.
Wolfenstein 3D, Duke Nukem 3D

2.5D engines. 😏
- it's a rounding error
  
  Rounding up on .5 is the most common method of rounding!
Killing floor

Scenery is non-destructible

Black Mesa

All the mesas are actually brown

Max Payne 2:The Fall of Max Payne

Actually he does fall over a lot in this game
Ace Combat 5: The Unsung War

Singing is an important part of the plot.
EVE Online: humanity’s distant future

Halo: “Run! It’s the demon!”

Mario Kart: drive around as Bowser

Call of Duty: skip work to play

Overwatch: small ground troop battles on city streets

Battlefield: Hardline: use signal jammers to disrupt enemy radio comms
- Halo
  
  To be fair, the first happens entirely on a Halo. The rest of the series is a lie.
Infinite Wealth

Never have enough money.
- With infinite wealth come infinite taxes. This is how you know this story is a work of fiction
Half Life is an accurate title. During normal playthroughs it’s rare to have more than 50hp.
- That depends on implementing the proper impulse for the onehunderdandfirst time
half life could just be using phone battery rules. even if your total phone battery capacity is 80% it's original capacity, it still lets you charge it to "100%", its just that you've charged it to 100% of that 80%.

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