Home owners of Lemmy do you have any advice on dealing with the stress of owning a home?

It beats having a landlord.

Do a task everyday.

Making sure to keep working on a fixer-upper by doing something everyday will help reach the goal of maintaining rather than falling behind. Focus on things that can get worse faster. Leaks and shorts would be a top priority that should not wait. KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF MAIN WATER AND POWER. Make sure this can be done quickly.

I remember going from being super excited that I owned the walls and fixtures around me to then realising I owned the walls and fixtures and no-one else was going to fix them. Not everything needs doing now though, so separate the issues into things you can live with, mid-term renovations and now things.

Oh, and always remember you’re not paying off someone else’s mortgage anymore!

I can only say, learn how to fix things. Like, everything. Because everything is going to fail at some point, and that $4000 quote to fix it doesn’t look so good.

Rodents or possums in the ceiling, call the local pest expert for advice. They’ll usually give you that because they don’t want to come out and get in your roof stage themselves.

Snakes? Don’t go under the house in hot weather. Keep trimming the grass/weeds close the house especially if your kids play there.

Invasive root systems like white poplar near the house? Either have a professional kill and relive the tree, or did up the roots every time you see a shoot come up.

Generally look around the house. Think about how each thing could fail (gutters, roofing, stairs, electrical, plumbing, paint, windows). Think of worst case scenarios for those things and what you would do if that happened. Prepare for it whether that means having the number of someone who can do it, or how you can do some DIY repairs, even if it’s temporary.

Finally. Bush fire. Are you prepared? Do you have a plan? Do you have timeframes for doing your bush fire preparations every year? Talk to neighbours and find out their plan and see if something similar works for you. You can stay at home and fight fires, but the mental toll of doing that can be crippling and possibly never recover. My plan is for the family to leave immediately, and I gather all our important stuff and follow as soon as possible.

My advice is to spend more time out of the house! The more I stew in the epicentre of the entropy and problems the more overwhelmed I feel by them and the harder it is to tackle them. Getting out can help to get some perspective and make you appreciate what you do have.

Know when to bodge a fix, and when to nut up and spend some time and money on something. Damp mouldy patch on the ceiling? Have a look in the ceiling space, see if you can spot the issue, fix it if it's easy. Slap some mould killer on it, done, don't worry about it. If it comes back? Get it fixed.

Writing shit down helps. I've got a whole todo list of things that need to be fixed. It's shitty how long it is, but because it's written down it's already half taken care of and I don't have that random stress of 'oh good that's right there's a leaky shower' and having to remember to do that thing.

List the issues, google one by one how to bodge it, decide if it's worth it.

Oh, the stress? I remind myself that renters in my area are now paying twice what my mortgage is, and I bought just three years ago. It's a quick boost, and believe me, I've got at least a dozen fixes myself to do that I don't have the energy or money for.

If that's not enough, take a few weekends to at least hit what you can. Make a list and tackle things slowly as to not get overwhelmed. One by one, step by step.

For example, I used a week break to paint the kids room and it feels like a brand new home, even patching cracks and dealing with water damaged ceiling drywall (was minor, and the roofing was already fixed before I moved in). The rest of the house needs it, but it still made me feel like I did something.

Not a home owner yet, but I just purchased a home and waiting on the handover.

This post has been really helpful! Certainly in writing some stuff down to remember 😅

Not really much advice other than being proactive about issues, but it is funny how concerned you quickly become with all types of water once you own a home. Rain intrusion, drainage in the yard, leaky pipes, dripping noises, frozen pipes, gutters, humidity, water heater, storms, etc, etc. It's a real menace and so are squirrels (as I also found out after purchasing a home).

When you hear a loud noise just think to yourself "Please be haunted and not something expensive..." it's what I do.

The biggest advice I can give is put systems in place to reduce as much as possible the list of things you have to manage freeing up your mind and time to solve more complex issues.

Stick a hose on the dehumidifier route into the drain never empty it again as an example where as before you emptied it daily or every 2 days.

Paying more for good quality tools to fix things properly can seem like a luxury initially, but they're worth it when you're 10 years down the line and still able to use the same set as if they were brand new.

It gets boring to worry. Now I just view it as a cosy box that I'll occasionally have to patch up. Also, getting comfortable with DIY, especially that first scary 'dive in' moment where you have to cut the wire, drill the wall, or pull up the board. Over time it all just gets as normal and run of the mill as cracking an egg for an omelette.

I learned to fix it. Before YouTube, that usually means not so great. But now, I usually do at least as good as a job as the people I'd hire.

Fixing stuff is easy, and you have to accept that there's no perfect fix.

Ants, set out ant bait traps. Look outside and see if there's a trail, follow it to the source, and spray it with ant poison.

Cracks, YouTube that. They may be nothing.

Leaks, if it's plumbing, you can buy pipes at home Depot and replace them.

Granted, it will take a while. Maybe all day. But you'll get an endorphin rush when it's done and eventually you'll come to know all the ins and outs of your house.

But it's you look at it and it's too big, Google a company to do it. Even if you're halfway, and find you're stuck. No shame in getting help. This shines you don't have a family member or friend who's already handy.

But really, if you can't fix it, can't afford to have it fixed, just do what you can to keep the house clean and work on it a little bit or put aside money till you can. That's hard, but that's owning a house. Like anything in life, it's difficult. But it doesn't have to stay that way, with enough time and practice.

You're already smarter than many, asking for other's opinions. Don't suffer in silence. I believe in you!

Try to only tackle one project at a time. It gets exponentially more stressful trying to juggle a bunch of incomplete projects. Also, you'll never be "done". That's not the point. The point is shelter and comfort.

i see repairing my house as a money saving hobby, got lots of plumbing, drywall, lumber, electrical, network, and car repair tools in the shed, garage and laundry room. i prefer to watch a diy vid on yt than any fiction, i guess my frugality drive me

• Practice triage: start with small, achievable projects that can be done on a weekend. Don't get overwhelmed. Be kind to yourself. Not every problem is immediate or needs fixing.

• If you have access to a local tools library, avail yourself of it fully. The staff are a treasure-trove of wisdom and knowledge. If not, talk to the oldest, crotchiest person at your local bardware store.

• There are so many single-use tools out there (favorite one is so you can unscrew the faucet bolt under a sink). If not, see if there's a community online board and post a request.

• Vintage appliances, windows, doors, etc are cool. A little elbow grease and they're in good shape. Junkyards and recycling centers are a treasure trove.

• If it involves anything hazardous or too heavy (gas, electricity, foundation), bite the bullet and seek professional help.

• Ants and cracks are small-fry. Baits and fillers are easy fixes. Focus on big ticket items. And remember, some things are best left alone (see triage, above).

shitty...fixer upper

You have the best kind of house! Since its market value is already low you don't have to worry about all the stupid shit people fret over when their house is too valuable.

What's leaking?

How old are the cracks? If they're old, then whatever shifted already happened and no longer matters. Just keep an eye for new ones. Like a casual eye. Don't obsess over it.

Find the little things that are easy to fix. Recently I had two sections of my laminated flooring that started to peel. I got some low profile transaction strips and set them up. Worked out that the area to repair the actual divide between my living room and dining room so it looks like it was supposed to be there.

And the more you open up to fix the more systemic problems you find. In an old/fixer house. Try to pick one project at a time. Spend some money when u have too. Have seen some smart people locate home improvement grants for upgrades/HVAC. You'll need to spend money. No avoiding it. In a couple years you'll forget how bad it all seemed and get used to the minor annoyances you haven't gotten too. And don't forget to learn some things. Buy a bug pump sprayer and specific chemicals on line. Learn how important gutters are and getting storm water away from the foundations. Get some rugs to cover the gaps and caulk the cracks. Most importantly A good partner for the decorating to make u forget it's a shitty house no matter how much work you put in

To answer your question I just drink a lot.

I solved this by selling my house and outsourcing all those bullshit problems to the landlord.

For some of the other posts I see here, in case you have these problems in the future. These aren't in order of importance.

1. Powdered ant killer that comes in the tube is better than those little ant traps. Don't waste your money on traps.

2. I had a groundhog living under some cement steps in the backyard. Tried all sorts of things to evict him, but didn't want to kill or hurt him. Tried repellents, moth balls, pepper powder, etc. Tried filling in the hole repeatedly. eventually I got pissed and started dumping the cat box in the den. I only had to do it once.

3. If you're paranoid about burglars, neighbors, etc. get some motion sensing lights for outside. And the cheapest home security cameras you can get. I started with some very cheap Blink wifi cameras (battery powered, about $100 for 4 on Woot!) years ago. Upgraded last year to mains powered Blink LED lights and cameras. Then when I went on vacation for a couple weeks, I pulled the battery cameras out of the drawer and set them up strategically inside the house. Blink charges a monthly subscription now (I grandfathered in before they charged), so plan accordingly.

4. know where all the shutoffs are, and how to use them. Power, Water, Natural gas, etc. And DON'T FUCK WITH NATURAL GAS! Let the professionals do it. I guy near Detroit killed his entire family last year swapping out a hot water heater himself. He survived. The house was no longer there.

5. Smoke alarms, get them. at least one for every level, PLUS one in every bedroom. Get the connected alarms that set off the entire house when one goes off. CO detectors too, if you have appliances that burn stuff.

Get handy. Fix things before they go bad, and learn basic construction on the way. Second hand tools are cheap, and there's a number of good youtubers to help in any situation. After you get your bearings, it turns into a fun way to make the place into what you want it to be. Nothing is terribly difficult, and materials can be had cheap if you're not in an emergency. Facebook marketplace allowed me to build a house for 70k over two years, and it's valued at 350k, and not finished yet. The experience gained led me to doing odd side jobs and reselling unused materials to keep paying for new additions. If you can replace your own water heater, you can replace someone elses for half the price of Lowes and still take home 700$ for three hours work. Pick up some resold tile and put in a bathroom wall. You'll find out what you did wrong in your own bathroom and won't mess up someone elses for some extra cash in a pinch.

Electrical work is my favorite. Know the code, and how to stay safe, and it's a lot of fun that the average person is HORRIFIED of. Get a good electricians multitool, a current tester, a drill and some tape, and you can perform miracles.

Most people will never afford a house. You don't have to fix it, you get to fix it, so take pride and make it somewhere you love to live.

All this is part of the game. What you save on not paying a landlord you pay in time keeping up with the place. Every ant and water drip is a challenge that you get to learn about fixing and make it your own. We're all lucky we live in a time where you can learn how to do anything from the internet.

I'm in the same boat. Bought a home in 2020. It's been a constant stream of fixes and updates and replacements. My mortgage payments are high enough. Now we're dumping thousands of dollars on flood prevention, evestrough replacement, random leaky pipes, furnace cleaning, deck refinishing, grass and landscaping. Wife and I both work full-time. We are dipping into savings to upkeep our home. I totally regret it. Should have bought a 2-3bed condo instead. At least we could plan for the monthly condo fees and not worry about sudden emergency fixes. I don't know. I hate it.

You're still better off owning a house and paying for repairs than paying rent. Even with the cost of repairs it's most likely cheaper in the long run and you're your own landlord.

If you need to hire a tradesperson, find small companies, folks who work for themselves. We're WAY cheaper than the shops are and can usually a) make time for you and b) work with you on it all. Plus, we need the money more ;D

For real though, I just bought my first home a couple years back and I get it. There's a lot I don't know still. It'll be alright, just keep an eye out for water damage. And if something starts sparking, cut the breaker off and call someone. Pretty much anything up to that point can be handled with YouTube and Harbor Freight.

I understand this will sound crazy. I started running, a lot. A few half marathons per year. It's a juxtaposition of enjoying the benefits and hating the activity.

The biggest benefit is being able to handle more stress, and deal with the stress better, in general. I tell myself during the first mile (as it's the most difficult to start), "I am expanding my capacity to endurance stress and suffering" it's shifted the way I look at problems.

A recent example: I paid a contractor to build a wall to split a room, and to install new flooring on the floor. It looked nice. A year later, I encountered a problem in the bathroom that exposed a leak that's probably existed since the work was done. The bathroom is being torn apart and completely redone by me. I'm not thrilled, and was absolutely pissed at first, but it's subsided much faster than it used to. I can't afford to hire someone again, but I do have another bathroom to use during this process, so it can wait. It's shifted my perspective, and I'm seeing this now as "expanding a set of skills that can be useful again" instead of completely dreading it. Of course I prefer this didn't happen 😊 but wishing reality is different doesn't help anything.

I love owning a home but fuck it’s expensive. Learn how to do stuff yourself is the best advice I can give you.

I have saved so much money being able to troubleshoot and repair simple things like hvac, electrical, plumbing, woodworking, etc. YouTube is amazing for learning this stuff. A good example: I recently had to replace two hvac condenser fans that would have likely cost me a $1000 a pop to fix. It’s bad enough the motors themselves were $300 a pop. Plumbing is easy if you have the right tools (pex is awesome). Electrical can be pretty easy if you’re willing to learn (I was a computer engineer in college and a system architect by trade so I get the electrical stuff). Learn how to patch holes in drywall. You’d be surprised how much you’ll be doing that. Learn how to replace a faucet. Learn how to replace the inwards of a toilet.

The great thing about a fixer upper is you can afford to make mistakes. Take your time, don’t rush it. Make little improvements all the time. It all adds up.

Not easy but have enough surplus to cover those things.

Also try to remember all the mortgage you're paying you'll most likely get back when you sell, unlike when you rent.

Is this a typical feeling? I've been planning to buy a home soon....

Start watching DIY vids and learning how to fix as much as you can yourself. Lowers repair bills and anxiety.

Invest in basic tools and have good relations with local repair persons, try to learn from them too as they fix stuffs. Hands on expertise is more helpful than theoretical how to knowledge. Also invest time in designing fail safe insect and paste management and plumbing. Bit of initial work usually pays off later.