I'd like to think I am the guy the arrows are pointing to but I am still chronically single 🥲🥲🥲 its okay, life is good but still I do get lonely sometimes
Nope, and at this point I don't feel like bothering. My life sucks for many reasons, but not having a partner is a pretty minor one. Many people's lives suck worse than mine as well.
It's hard enough to find someone already. Like - ok fine I get it, yes, being a lesbian (or bi) feels like the only way anyway, cuz like yeah, how can you not like girls. I find that somewhat hard to imagine.
but that turns into a bad thing, because all of a sudden you have all these super pretty girls in the dating space and they are all prettier, smarter and more comfy cozy than you!!! I feel this is especially the case when transfem (but what do i know)
The top image gave me flashbacks to reddit, r/chodi, and the wave of Indians spamming r/Pakistan complaining about "love jihad"
spoiler
Love jihad (or Romeo jihad)[5] is an Islamophobic[11] conspiracy theory[22] promoted by right-wing Hindutva activists.[25] The conspiracy theory purports that Muslim men target Hindu women for conversion to Islam by means such as seduction,[28] feigning love,[30] deception,[31] kidnapping,[34] and marriage,[37] as part of a broader demographic "war" by Muslims against India,[39] and an organised international conspiracy,[42] for domination through demographic growth and replacement.
It was funny because there actually were several studies and polls that suggested women in India preferred Muslim men because they were well groomed and more respectable than their Hindu counterparts.
That s not true , of course doing the basic minimum of a normal human IS required but its not enough to have a gf today.
The loneliness epidemic is real and not all lonely guy are complete moron.
Personally I think one major factor is the privatization of love.
Wow this has a lot of up votes. Of course the loneliness epidemic is real but why blame something nebulous like the privatization of love when capitalism is right there. There's a profit motive in getting people to work longer hours for less pay and have less free time to build community
Yes I just wanted to be more precise , in fact I was talking about the fact that more than halft of the meeting are donne thanks to dating app and that the algorithms of those app are made to make you dependent of those app and not for there original purpose .
I think I m not clear but basically enshitifaction of dating app are a real problem and one major cause of loneliness that s what I wanted to say.
Sorry for my broken english its not my first language
Ask someone out for coffee. Talk about your week. Ask about theirs. Don't treat the interaction as a pass/fail. Repeat. If you have mutual attraction then nature will play out.
Doing the bare minimum hygiene and the appearance of happiness drastically improves your chances.
Dating is for finding someone you enjoy being around. Sex is a result of growing closer.
Obviously some people have it easier than others but I have peers that just refuse to ask people out for coffee or a lunch. I'm a late millennial if that matters.
Be a decent person and if a love interest doesn't personally find you attractive they WILL tell their friends. NEVER talk poorly about your previous relationships. Learn a few jokes.
The privatization of love is a real problem but the classic approach isn't dead.
My issue is with your first sentence (cis white man that is about as just barely straight). With all of the talk about equality, equity, and BS gender roles, I'm still expected to make all of the initial moves and decisions in real life and on apps. However, I'm mildly on the spectrum and my natural tenancy is to be very aggressive in my methods (not in a violent way and not just with people, just mean I am very earnest, locked in, and tenacious with most things I do).
I have never been approached, hit on, or asked out by a women in real life, though I have by men a couple of times. When I'm in public or at a bar I am literally invisible, unless I happen to walk into a women's zone of awareness (not personal space, but the point/distance where they then have to make a judgment as to whether I am a threat or not).
The advantage of online dating is that if I match with someone it's reasonable to assume they are interested in me which puts me past the initial barrier in real life of not being able to tell. At that point I'm pretty OK at interacting with a person and flirting etc. However, my hobbies and the things I would like a partner to enjoy doing with me are very male dominated.
The result of this is that I haven't ever had a partner or dated someone who didn't have crippling anxiety and/or deep self-image issues where they use their partner for all of the validation and structure they haven't figured out how to do from within themselves. Which at least to me makes sense, since women with the same interests as mine are surrounded by men all the time everyday, and so the confident well adjusted women have the metaphorical pick of the litter and probably end up with one of the few not problematic men in that space that are also well adjusted.
I am well aware it's far more complicated than that, and that women face a number of other struggles, but Game Theory does still very much apply, and so as I was saying before despite all of the rhetoric about equity, I still have to play by the old rules while somehow also playing by the new ones at the same time.
Do a group activity which has members of the demography you’re trying to attract. Show that you’re useful in a social environment and you will gain status and thus attract mates.
That can be anything from environmental protection, sports, politics, arts, music, games, organizing parties.
Yeah I think there's a difference between having a smell and smelling bad. I've been told many times that I have a smell(musk) and that it's different from when I smell bad. A female friend of mine has borrowed clothes and protective equipment from me. Rain jacket: smells like me, kneepads: smell really bad.