Yule Tidings!

In 2025 I'm going to get a good night's sleep every night. Further, I will wake feeling rested and ready to take on the world

Damn, look at this guy going right to the "bending the laws of the universe" boasts.
I will wake feeling rested

Depending on your situation, a sleep study and CPAP could help with that.
- Been there, doing that. I love and hate my cpap.
And you will wake up early in the morning too, compatible with society

I'm going to finish all the games in my steam library

Realizes I'd need at least 4 years, if I finished a game a day... I need to stop buying games.
- Sir that's over 1k what the fuck.
  
  Our 4 buddy family group has less games combined sir.
  
  Sir you need to stop.
You have to finish within the year.
- I just logged into my humble bundle account & looked at all the codes I haven't redeemed yet...
  
  What was that about altering the laws of physics, time and the universe?

Hmm .. this is going to need more thought or more brain altering substances .. perhaps both .. let me get back to you on this ..

Technically you have till next 12/31
The "more thought" is a barrel of mead of course!

And an ounce of weed, but that was already there

Soooo...a typical New Year's resolution then.

hilarious, but Google search for the term only shows this Tumblr post, and there's no equivalent term in Swedish that I know of. But we should make it a tradition anyways.

I believe this refers to Heitstrenging.

The Wikipedia page doesn't seem to mention the craziness of the oaths to the point of gods, but seems to be more about boastful things people would actually try to do. From the above link:

Heitstrengingar took place at Yule and other sacrificial feasts, weddings, arvals, and banquets and often acted as a form of bragging and promising the performance of an often great feat.

Which seems to have been extrapolated on a bit for the post.
this year i’m going to invent the term in swedish
Most truthful tumblr post

I’m going to evenly microwave a Hot Pocket.

You should settle for something more realistic like punching god in the taint

Ooh - I'll do an impossible one:

"I will be able to afford a house on double the median household income for my region"

Let's not go crazy. Stick with the god dick punching thing.

I'm going to mangione every single billionaire.

I'm going to try to drink more water

be me, it's Yule boasting

Claim I'm going to get a GF after being khhv my whole life

Rest of the group laughs uproariously, saying I've truly claimed the impossible
- khhvh?
Is there a c/hydrohomies?
- A few, the most active is over at ml.
  
  Stay hydrated!

I will win PM of Canada through election or coup, then annex one by one each useful America state!

I suggest annexing the entirety of the US as a single province for the shits & giggles. I don't think they'd ever recover from that exceptionally bruised ego. LOL
- But my state is the besttttt you can't lump me in with the other 'Mericans nooooo
I would like to volunteer the Pacific states first as we have excellent beer and wine

In 2025 I am going to steal slood from the gods for mankind. This will fix everything.

I'm finally going to nail Molly Ringwald.

I'm gonna pants Vladimir and push him down some stairs

I also liked the idea of New Year's bingo, things you'd enjoy doing the next year and then seeing if you get bingo/s.

But nah. In 2025 I'm going to start a company that will cheaply generate near-unlimited clean energy from greenhouse gases, pollutants, and (only discarded) plastics. I will install it for free and provide the energy at something like 10% of oil/coal equivalent. By threatening to turn it off, I'll extort those in power to stop wars (yup, within the year) and obey the experts on how to improve the wellbeing of the bottom 10-50% in individual countries and globally.

Yeehaw! In 2025 I'm going to defeat my personal demons with a fucking flourish and get yolked as hell doing it.

My Yule boasting! I am going be less judgmental and critical. This weighs on me heavily so it’s definitely a more Herculean task for me than it might be for someone else 😊

Ok, here I go: I will finally hit the gym, find someone to love, get a better job, learn to play an instrument, become a more patient and confident person, read the books I've bought, play the games I've bought, learn a new language, spend more time with people I care about, try LSD, start a master's degree and do something about my receding hairline. Good luck, future me.

This is just news years resolutions except you don’t intend to keep them 😂

I'm getting out of my comfort zone

Im going to break a chunk off Jupiter and bring it into Earth's orbit so we have a second moon!

A bunch of extrovert idiots. That's what that party is for.

I'd much rather have a glass of bubbly at home with friends and then everyone goes their own way and I enjoy a book or something.