I actually had to pause a movie once and re-explain that that I’d never seen it before, either.
edit: the amount of upvotes this comment has gotten both validates and saddens me
Only once?
Surprisingly, yes
I'm pretty sure I married your friend.
I perhaps did it too 😳
My 8 year old does this. Most of the time it's during movies I've already watched so I could answer her questions. But fuck man, just watch the movie and it will answer your questions. We spend more time talking about what's happening than watching/listening 🤦
Maybe she just wants to talk to you. For her, the movie experience is spending time with you.
We usually do end up talking for most of the movie. I guess I kind of do like doing that with her. I absolutely love your comment. Thank you for changing my perspective.
Its called rhetorical question. Mate is just thinking loud.
I'm that friend and I'm really sorry. I cant control it. :(
I have a friend like this too. I just stopped going to the movies with him because I want to stay friends.
Well in cinemas I'm obviously silent because there are strangers. I just like to talk when watching movies together privatly.
I think its really nice when the movie is a total brainfuck to make theorys with friends. If you just want to sit there in total silence even in private situations you could just watch the movie alone.
I do this too, I'm thinking aloud. My girlfriend scolds me for "spoilers", which is funny because I'm just guessing what is going to happen based on other stuff I've seen.
Not my fault writers are terribly unimaginative lol
"Why is-"
"I don't know, it's almost like the movie is intentionally setting up questions to be answered later when the plot calls for it!"
I google the plot of the movie and ruin the ending in my answers to those questions. Now they're a lot more careful with asking questions.
You are about one lab accident away from becoming a supervillain aren't you? But not the normal kind, the kind that people sorta see their pov.
I'll have to check the villain registry to see if Spoiler Alert is already taken
My family does this. Even if I have watched it, if it's a movie worth watching, it's gonna answer all necessary questions. Just give it some damn time!
Still waiting for an answer to the Italian job. I should've asked more questions honestly.
There is only one answer: Buy a Mini Cooper
I think that he was only supposed to blow the fucking doors off.
My family does this because they didn't bother to pay attention so I actually do know better than them what's going on
Maybe they got something that you missed. I often miss details like that.
If I do this I'm not expecting you to know the answer, I just want to discuss our thoughts. What's wrong with that?
What's wrong with that?
Because it's insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical. You aren't the only person in the world. We're both watching the movie and we're both equally as confused. When you ask those questions what you're doing is interrupting the movie for someone else to demand an explanation for yourself. An explanation you will not get as, again, both of us are confused. Other people are watching the movie too. Interrupting it to try and get answers for yourself is some narcissistic behavior, especially when you're in a movie theater with shitloads of other people around you.
Moreover, during the middle of the movie is not the place to have a discussion. People are trying to watch it and enjoy it, not listen to some breakdown about the events so far. If you want to have those discussions then keep it for after the movie when attention can be properly given to the discussion, not a half whispered response in a tone of "Dude, can you shut up?"
Because it's insanely inconsiderate and extremely egotistical.
I can imagine coming over to a friend's place or to a date and just sitting there in absolute silence watching a movie instead of you know, hanging out and talking stuff
Your friend is probably more interesting in hanging out with you than strictly watching a movie lol
😤🫸 Doing that before or during the movie
😏👉 Doing that after the movie
Not to say it's objectively wrong, but if it's someone like me that you're watching a movie with, I generally expect quiet. A comment here and there is probably fine in the right context, but constantly breaking into conversation mid-movie is a distraction I don't really appreciate. Generally, I think it's important to understand the expectations of everyone involved.
You're interrupting the movie and making people miss out. If all agree ahead of time to do a MST3K kinda thing, sure. As a compromise: pause the movie first.
Because movies are dumbed down to the point that anything you can come up with in realtime will be answered eventually, or is a plothole.
Watch the movie then
How the fuck would I know?
My wife does this all the time. I make her pause and then we chat a bit. Works well
So... do you all just sit there and watch movies in complete silence?
Yes! If it's a re-watch then fine, talk all you want. On first watch though, shut. The fuck. Up.
I can imagine the steamy nextflix and chill session already
If you go to the theater to watch a movie then you need to sit down, shut up, and just enjoy the movie. Nobody needs to hear your thoughts in that exact moment. That includes yourself.
Feel free to discuss the movie afterwards though.
Literally yes. Minus stuff like laughter, or mild gasps or other reactionary noises.
When in theatre, yes, its considerate. When watching stuff with my gf we usually commentate as it goes on
I used to but I've realized it's much more fun with occasional comments as long as you can keep it low key.
Ideally, yes. Discussion is for immediately after.
right? why watch a movie together to begin with if you're gonna be antisocial
In this meme, is the cool looking guy you or him?
My sister is ADHD so she legit has real questions that I can totally help with despite having seen the same stuff so far. But of course she has no idea which stuff is intentionally vague and which stuff she hasn't been able to connect that was intended to be solved so far. So if it's an intentionally vague moment my answer is "we don't know yet".
I definitely get that it can be annoying if you have no idea why they are asking. But they wouldn't have learned that behaviour if it didn't occasionally matter. Since this behaviour is common, and ADHD is common, I wouldn't be surprised if it's always the case. But it's probably only some people with ADHD, depending on how theirs presented. And of course some people may have this trait of ADHD without enough of the rest of the traits to be able to get diagnosed.
But yeah, it's one of the traits of ADHD that makes them feel like they must not be smart, despite any evidence to the contrary. Cuz they just don't "get" what are obvious clues to other people. But it's simple topic linking, basically their brains see everything in it's own bubble, and they can be very good at figuring out everything in that one bubble, but if a puzzle in that bubble needs a part from a different bubble, that puzzle is never gonna be solved for them without outside help to find the bubble that has the needed part.
I'm sorry none of that has anything to do with ADHD. If anything ADHD is great for helping make connections from disparate sources as, for better or for worse, 15 things pass through your brain every second. And as someone with ADHD, trying to talk to me during a movie is incredibly annoying, because I'm either hyperfocused on the movie or working very hard to focus on it. If I'm not focused on it, I probably don't care about it very much, so I'm not going to be asking questions to try to keep up.
All of this sounds like your sister has made "ask questions" part of her "try very hard to focus" routine but that is her quirk, not an ADHD trait. I can only imagine nobody has annoyed her in this way so hasn't thought about it.
Oh, no. She is definitely great at making connections otherwise. It's just one of her executive dysfunction symptoms. Like I said, not all people with ADHD get that one. She 100% hates having to ask questions and break immersion. But she also has a huge fear of being wrong, and it bothers her to a larger degree when she thinks she has missed how two things might be related.
She is almost 40 now, so she has had plenty time to at least get a decent sense of when a movie should be making more sense than it is. But there are still times where it is just as much as we are supposed to know by now.
I don't, as far as I know, have ADHD. I did not notice foreshadowing and such until I took an elective in college that broke all that stuff down for cinema.
Now that I know, I notice it. It's like hearing the Wilheim scream. Once you know what it sounds like, you hear it pop up a lot. A Lot. I never noticed it at all before.
Same thing with Hero's Journey in storytelling.
Once you learn to recognize these things, you can't not notice them. Sometimes it ruins things a little, sometimes it makes them better.
If you want to know how to read the clues, watch some youtubes on how to spot everything. People love making videos about it.
Or, just continue to enjoy the ride, but stop asking for it to be explained. If you want the explanation either learn the clues or just read a spoiler summary beforehand. Don't risk ruining it for someone, who overhears your conversation by accident, when they just wanted to enjoy seeing the story unfold moment by moment.
That's a completely different thing...
I've never seen anyone doing that, who the hell are you people friends with?
Devils advocate here, because this sounds like my wife and I. She gets really annoyed at me, but she doesn't understand that I don't expect her to answer my questions. I just need to let them out of my head so I can concentrate on the rest of the movie. What she could do is either just ignore me, or agree that it's a valid question and let it go. On some occasions, I may ask a question because I feel I may have missed something that she might have caught, but usually the questions are more rhetorical in nature...
I don't think the reasons are really important, there's no "devil's advocate" to play here. If it's annoying then it's annoying, it takes someone out of the experience, even if you didn't intend it that way. That doesn't really get changed by understanding the mechanics behind it.
If you are in a relationship and that is your dynamic and you are happy with it, you do you. As long as you aren't annoying other people.
My husband likes to ask questions during movies and shows. I had to talk with him on boundaries.
I don't like to talk in movie theaters. People paid good money to enjoy the experience, including us. Screams, gasps, etc are fine. Reading subtitles to vision impaired people is fine. Dissecting what has happened to whom is not. We are there specifically to have questions posed and then answered by the movie itself, not by people in the audience. We can tear apart the flaws on the way home.
At home, it's different, we can usually pause it, and I don't mind as much discussing in real time. Unless it is clear it is about to be answered if you just watch for another minute. Then the answer is "just wait" and boom, story happens.
Same here with my girlfriend, except we both do it, even though I might a bit more sometimes.
I never got the point of watching a movie with someone if you're both just totally silent and not interacting the whole time. Then at the end it's like "what did you think of the movie" "it was ok" "yeah"
2 hours wasted
More like be relatively silent and the occasional comment during and most conversation afterwards. Easily an hour's worth if it was a good movie.
I guess that makes sense if you're watching movies with people who have a lot of thoughts about movies, I've never watched a movie with someone who had more than ten second's worth of things to say about it afterwards though.
Same. I didn't come over to just watch a movie in silence, I wanted to hangout with you lol
