"Too much" ruins a burger. If I take a bite and a bunch of crap squeezes out of the backside of the bun, it's a problem.
Whenever I get back from a camping trip I always grab a smash burger from the shittiest looking mom and pop joint I can find.
Tbf after camping trips anything covered in salt will be god tier. My wife and I did a weekend backpacking trip but didn’t bring any great food. On the way home the only place to stop was a Shoneys and we still joke that it was the best meal we’ve ever had.
As a burger hater and language lover I hereby contribute the word you were looking for in your title instead: it's "conversely". Enjoy! 😉
i think its important that all the ingredients chosen fit well together (i guess thats the case for all food?) also i will not stand for the egrigious pickle-slander in the comments
I make my own pickles and will NOT have a burger without them.
What makes a burger? A good bun. What ruins a burger? Soggy bun.
Cooked to medium rare. Juicy. Toasted bun. Lettuce, tomato, cheese, and maybe even a fried egg.
An overcooked, dry burger is just not edible for me.
Good: Maillard reaction. That lovely, savory sear on the meat and juices. This is why a proper slider tastes good.
Bad: Dry cardboard. Usually created by people who don’t know how to grill.
Usually created by people who don’t know how to grill.
The main subcategory of these people are those that cook it from frozen.
Nah it's not that hard to make a decent burger from frozen. I don't know WTF people are doing to mess that up. You just put it on the grill and don't overcook it lol.
The trick is the balance, between meat, seasoning, vegetables and to a small degree, sauce and seasoning. E.g. putting too much meat on it and less than 3 out of 4: salad, onion, tomato, pickle, would be too little. Ingredient quality matters a lot. Cheese is a nice bonus. Variations according to taste are "obvious", hot or mild sauce, different veggies...
It shouldn't be uncomfortable to eat, but I'm also disappointed if it's too small. Imo, you should need both hands.
Great: the other comments cover it quite well.
Ruin: too much of any one topping. I want to be able to taste the other ingredients. This is an especially easy mistake to make with onion. Red onions have a very strong flavor which can mask others. A little goes a long way.
Ruins it: When the gimmick of the burger is some "special sauce" or house ketchup (and/or they put pickles on it yuck)
Makes it: When the flavorings, seasonings, ingredients are mixed into the ground beef before grilling
Sometimes a thinner crispy smash burger is great, other days i prefer a thicker juicier burger but still with some good sear. I don't like when the meat is overseasoned and it tastes like meatloaf - just a sprinkle of salt, pepper, garlic. Toasted bun. Light sauce or none.
Most burgers are fine. Not excellent, not special.
Most common things that ruin a burger for me:
- soggy bread
- poor construction (falls apart, leaks, toppings aren't spread)
- too much grease (especially on the bread)
To make a good burger, stay simple. Just get quality ingredients and cook them well. Smash burgers make things easier and go a long way. No kraft plastic-cheese.
I cooked Oklahoma onion burgers yesterday.
Really simple.
- Season your mince with salt and form into small rounds.
- Smash the burgers topped with really finely sliced onion smashed straight into the burger on a hot griddle (I used a soapstone in my Kamado).
- When the lacey edges of the burger are starting to caremalise, flip and add a slice of cheese.
- Place the top of the bun on top of the cheese and the bottom face down on top of that. This lets the buns steam a little and soften.
Serve.
Five ingredients: beef mince, onion, salt, cheese, bun.
Great burger.
Hot take: all burgers are overrated. While the platonic ideal of a burger is great, you never actually get what you envision when you attempt to realise it.
The coverage of the pickles isn't perfect. Half the burger dressing squirts out the sides and is lost when you bite down the first time. The tomatoes slide around and fall out with half the onions. The melted cheese cools and sets, turning into rubbery unpleasantness.
The perfect bite of a burger where you get a little bit of all the components is lovely. But you only get one or two of those per burger, and that's just not worth the hassle.
A perfect burger to me is a paddy (rissole size) lettuce on the bottom, then the paddy, then tomato, pineapple, beetroot and onion then cheese on top.
In a bread bun not a fucking brioche thing.
If I'm extra fancy an egg under the cheese but the egg needs to be so close to solid that it runs and cooks solid at the same time. I hate the smell of runny egg.
What ruins a burger for me, fucking sauce I don't want your drippy shitty BBQ sauce or whatever sogging up my bread.
Make a good paddy and that will carry the burger
A good cheese can make a burger, American is not a good cheese. Pickles ruin everything.
It needs something to provide crunch, as a textural counterpoint to the warm softness of the bun and patty. Lettuce, raw onion, potato chips each work, just pick ONE.
It needs acidic elements to cut the fatty richness. Mustard, pickles, fresh tomato, these you can double up on.
It needs a patty that holds together. I love a blackbean burger but most of them fall apart, might as well call it a blackbean sloppy joe.
It needs to fit in my mouth without squirting condiments out the other side.
It needs catsup, independent of all other requirements. You cannot leave off or replace the catsup.
It's kind of hard to fuck up a burger. The worst burger is what they have at AM/PM or a school cafeteria. And even that isn't completely terrible.
The best burger though would have bacon, blue cheese and A1 sauce on it. 🤤
The classic:
Beef: salt and pepper only
Cheese: sharp orange cheddar
Toppings: lettuce tomato
Sauce: classic burger sauce or mayo ketchup and relish but not too much sauce
Buns: brioche, slightly toasted
Alternative:
Cheese: smoky Gouda
Toppings: sautéed mushrooms in butter
Sauce: classic barbecue
What ruins a burger: those vegan fake beef patties. Or when the patty to bun ratio is bad.
Speaking of which, people always forget some good alternative like salmon, turkey or chicken burgers. A salmon burger with a grilled pineapple ring is yummy!
The real secret? Fried egg. Instantly elevates a burger from good to great.
An extra patty or a couple slices of bacon + barbecue sauce makes it great. Lettuce is hit or miss with varying degrees of freshness depending on the store, so sometimes it's just better without.
To me a burger is a very simple thing. Few ingredients, cooked properly, simple.
When people just keep stacking sloppy stuff on top it just feels like distractions.
As a non food comparison, it's Like somebody with toktok going on their phone, a streamer going on twitch on their PC and a show going on tv at the same time with led gamer shit everywhere
Chicken or turkey. Seriously im trying to cut down on red meat. I only eat it when a vegan online rails against reducing meat consumption because its not eliminating meat consumption. Which means I can still eat a fair amount of beef. Still though. Trying to cut down.
Meat.
Lack of meat.
Good meat/bad meat
And I don't mean what the meat is, I'm talking about the quality of whatever meat is used.
Sometimes, I'll wedge some ice between two sheets of ice when I'm feeling hot. I call it the iceburger! 🧊🍔
Punny jokes aside, probably a soggy or stale bun.
Good: Green Olives and Feta
Bad: Falls apart
Can we talk about the vicious 'instagram worthy' cycle where burger shops make terrible but visually impressive burgers, drawing in 'influencers', boosting the restaurant thinking they did something right when those 'influencers' just throw away the food once they are done with their photo op.
This can really sum up enshittification cycles outside of products.
A great burger is medium to medium rare, wide not tall, sensible topping height, a spread that matches and holds together the ingredients. Optional: a fried egg.
What can ruin it: Medium well to well, tall not wide, 'instagram bait' toppling stacks of random ingredients chosen for how they look, not how they match the ingredients. No egg.
What makes a great burger? Good meat, fresh ingredients, and not terribly wet. Bonus if it's reasonably easy to consume.
What ruins it? Cheese
Beef is the worst meat for burgers. Buffalo, or yak, or chicken, or turkey, or beans all make for a better tasting burger.
