Received this in the mail a couple weeks ago
Received this in the mail a couple weeks ago
Imagine being such a persecuted group in America that you get to blast spam mail to everyone in your community in the name of religion with no repercussions.
Dear Yvonne,
Thanks for reaching out with regards to the Bible. One quote I find particularly useful in situations like this which I believe you should take to heart is 1 Timothy 2:12:
"I permit no woman to teach or to have authority over men; she is to keep silent."
Have a Blessed day!
gregorum
Damn, you beat me to it haha.
Fwiw, 1 Timothy is widely recognized by scholars as a later forgery. So it's effective at shutting up literalists but not as much people who recognize the text as an at least partially flawed effort.
But that "shuddup women" stuff in the late first and early second century is pretty interesting.
Like you had Phillip the Evangelist's daughters supposedly prophesying, apocrypha where Jesus is privately teaching female students, with later traditions claiming their original teacher was a woman.
And then Corinth a decade or so after Paul deposed the appointed elders from Rome, and the bishop of Rome writes 1 Clement to them, which is all about how young people should defer to old and how awesome the biblical women who stayed silent were (presumably ignoring the earliest women who were driving tent pegs into the heads of dudes).
Suddenly after this schism and competing materials and tradition owing themselves to female teachers you have a forged letter about how women shouldn't teach.
It's a fun line from the Epistle to throw in their faces, but it obscures one of the more interesting and eyebrow raising episodes to the early church.
But that “shuddup women” stuff in the late first and early second century is pretty interesting.
The apocryphal Gospel of Thomas (not to be confused with the also apocryphal Infancy Gospel of Thomas) which is dated to the second century is so anti-women that it ends with Jesus basically saying that women who worship him will be turned into men so they can enjoy the afterlife.
Even if that's true--and I don't know if it is or not, because I'm not a true biblical scholar--the fact is that 1 Timothy is recognized as canon throughout the Christian world. Even if it's a forgery, it's been accepted as gospel for the last 1800 years or so.
...And that's completely ignoring the fact that most people that get really deep into scholarly historical bible studies very quickly end up as agnostics and atheists, because you can't square the historical record with any religion currently practiced.
Dear Yvonne,
Thank you for writing me and sharing what you claim to be valuable information, but I am not finding it all that valuable considering it's a single line from your Bible telling me that an omniscient being can hear me. And I should think so too.
To answer your first question, I do not think any god listens to my prayers because I do not pray. Your second question makes no grammatical sense. I'm sorry, but I can't answer it. Perhaps you should see if your god will grant you a better command of the English language.
I won't be contacting you for your free Bible study, because I have never heard of Bible study that charges you money... So this kind of feels like a scam. Are you selling timeshares?
Sincerely,
Flying Squid
I was expecting something about my cars extended warranty at the bottom.
Awww, she's blissed out. So cute. I wish they were all as harmless as her.
That's a good point. It definitely can be worse.
Seriously, religion is a mental illness.
There's a dude where I live that stands on a street corner reading the Bible out loud to nobody.
These people need therapy and medication.
Fuck off Yvonne
You should offer her a free punctuation class in return.
Call "Yvonne" with your number withheld, and tell her that you don't want to receive anymore of those flyers. If she asks for your address, tell her to pray for an answer and hang up.
Respond back that you prayed to win the lottery and you actually did. Watch the mental gymnastics in full force after that.
Respond that Allah is generally more giving and watch the face contort.
Then sell your system as a class at $1k/ticket, and before you know it you're the next big prosperity gospel leader
A tree died for this.
I get these too. It is best to ignore them because if you tell them you are anything but a Jehovah's Witness, they will hit you stronger with letters. Return to sender will reenforce their desire to send you more too.
I know some people say to tell them some secret words about people getting kicked out of the Jehovah's, but I find it hard to be mean to them. They are being coerced and guilted into it.
It's so absurd. If you read these without knowing anything about a "bible" or a "John" it's just rambling with an old timey accent.
"Pray and, if it's something god already wanted to happen, god will grant your prayers!"
I'd still rather receive this than the 6 credit card offers I have to shred every week.
Plus another dozen credit card offers for previous tenants.
Hit 'em with the ol' Timothy 2:12
Ok, how about this. If God answers my prayers and allows me to win the lottery I pledge 50% of my winnings to a church of his choosing.
From what I understand God really, really needs money.
It only works if you ask for vague, non-specific things. For example, if you ask for patience, then feel more patient... that's God! But if you feel more frustrated and less patient, that's also God... teaching you patience by making life suck so you have to be more patient. And if nothing changes? You guessed it; God!
Woah, I’ve received two very similar letters as well. They came from a state that’s really far away so I’m not sure how they even got my name and address. Super concerning but also laughable that this was seen as a way to convert people….
Was it sent to you via USPS including a stamp, or was it just put in your mailbox? Cause if they bypass USPS and use your mailbox inappropriately they can be fined per offense.
Uhh, I don't remember. All I did was take a picture of the letter and thought this instance would want to see it haha. Threw away the envelope.
Haha. In all likelihood, it was probably sent via mail appropriately. But, if anyone ever does go mucking with your mailbox you have some real options.
Return to sender.
I'm not really following. It's annoying/amusing, but I get junk mail every day. How is this any different? Just roll your eyes and toss it.
Imagine being so petty you post this online. Just throw it out if you're that pathetic and can't handle others differences
Imagine defending a cult that protects child predators, will let its babies die before giving them a life-saving medical procedure, and drives members who quit to suicide by forcing everyone they ever knew to shun them.
Yvonne, that you?
(are you really going to sit there and insist we respect Yvonne's faith/viewpoint while she is disrespecting ours by trying to proselytize in the laziest manner possible?)
Spam apologists are neat. It's like they're so new to the Internet they don't know that a "it's just one message calm down" attitude is how we got here.
I had never seen this happen before. Relax.