Being on friendly terms with past partners is another one. Or for that matter cherishing the memories of the good times with those partners. A lot of people seem to think that after a breakup you should hate your ex forever and burn all pictures, throw away any object they ever gave you,... but that is actually quite unhealthy (unless abuse or stalking or similar things were involved of course). If a relationship does not work out that doesn't mean that other options, such as friendship, might not be on the table and even if they aren't that doesn't mean you can't treat each other like regular acquaintances when you randomly meet somewhere. Obviously they might not be an option immediately after a breakup but once time has dulled the pain a bit a friendship is absolutely possible with someone you initially shared enough interests with to try a relationship.
I feel that. It may be hard to believe but the breakup was amicable. It’s just really hard to make a 7 time zone difference work, especially almost 20 years ago when video chat was not what it is today. The few times we had together I really do cherish, but it was not the right time or place. We’re now only 1 time zone apart and haven’t seen each other since her wedding, but we do still keep up with each other periodically.
It is possible to be happy for an ex and really wish them the best.
It is possible to be happy for an ex and really wish them the best.
That is even possible if you have no desire to spend time with them yourself any more. Not everyone who is incompatible with you is a bad person who deserves a bad life, in fact most people are not.
I recall someone asking "Then why did you break up if you are good buds?".
Sometimes it's easier being friends rather.Exes belong to life and memories as much as anyone in any other role. No need to forget them any more or less than anyone else (painful feelings and memories are another story).
Sometimes you can take a pause after a breakup to kill feels and later come back to friendly terms.
When they mention that someone else is attractive. This is often seen as a red flag by people with insecurities but really it means your partner trusts you enough to actually mention such attractions. The state some insecure people want is that their partner is never attracted to anyone else but that is completely unrealistic. So the actual choice is between honesty and lies. And you do not want your partner to have to constantly watch every word they utter around you to coddle your insecurities as that will likely lead to worse communication between you in general. This goes for other topics as well of course but jealousy inducing ones are very common.
My fiancee and I always point out good looking/hot people to each other. No trust issues, we're both with each other because we want to. Nothing forcing us to stay together.
My parents both do this, but they're bisexual swingers... So the moral of the story is that there can be many reasons for doing things
Not talking all the time when spending time together. Being able to just quietly enjoy each other's company sometimes is actually a good thing since it allows both partners to relax without constantly worrying about keeping their partner's attention or keeping them entertained.
Currently sitting next to silent bf silently. We just grunt at each other for days in a row. Live with someone wanting constant interaction = hell.
To be nice or friendly with kids.
As a man (I know starting a sentence that way can also be a red flag), I'm always nervous when kids interact with me.
It feels like I'm being judged harshly for just wanting to be friendly and that I could so quickly be accused of being a pervert or worse.
So I just don't interact with them.
My policy as a recently new father will also probably be that I won't have my daughter's friends over when I'm the only adult present.
Get this: my friend is "not allowed" to be left alone with his daughter. His own daughter. If wife needs to go out without baby, baby gets dropped off at grandparents (wife's parents) instead of just staying home with dad. What's even more ridiculous is his profession is early childhood educator. He's more qualified than most other parents out there, male or female. I don't know how he puts up with being insulted like that.
I HAVE been accused of being a pervert, once, and it was fucking weird
Was at the store and some kid walked up to me thinking I was my dad (works at a local school and we look a lot alike, have the same name even)
Told the kid nah, that he had mistaken me for my dad, and then suddenly his mom appears and grabs the kid while telling me to "stay away from her kid you long haired freak"
Again, I look like my dad (he also has long hair) to the point of this kid mistaking me for him, yet I was still some random creep to this lady
People stop seeing normal human dudes in public once a kid is around and it can really suck sometimes
I had the cops called on me for taking my own kids to the park.
I'm sorry for this. I adore seeing men being fathers, being positive adults in the lives of children. my own dad was more absent than not, but my grandfathers taught me a lot about how to be a decent human being, how to have relationships with others.
please don't be absent for your daughter just because too many people have forgotten men are also capable of being nurturing adults for children.
What kind of society or culture considered being friendly towards children a red flag? Spoken as both a father of two and former child: you can be friendly to children without being a creep.
Spoken as a non-father it’s not so easy.
I accept the risk because I refuse to participate in a system that cuts off kids from the adults around them, but I know that when I talk to a child I’m almost certainly going to be seen as a pedophile for it.
I was going for just being nice and helpful.
Taking some time to calm down during a fight if getting angry/sad/whatever.
The other party might think that you are running away.Make sure they know that you continue once calmed down.
It’s very important, if you need, to take a short rest to recover some HP at the least or a long rest if you need your party at full fighting potential.
Well, maybe so.
They will put your intimidation, charisma and other skills related to the Ultimate test nevertheless!
Being underemployed. As long as they meet their obligations, I applaud people who don't live for work.
If a person can readily describe their failings it could seem like a red flag because they have failings, but everyone has failings and being aware of them is a positive.
Also, the only way one can improve themselves is if they acknowledge their failings first. It doesn't have to be public, but if it is, it means they have already made their first step.
Making life choices different from the societal standard (e.g. not wanting children or not wanting a marriage). Sure, if your own desires are incompatible with that you might need to find someone else but a lot of people who do go with the societal standard actually just do so because they never thought about alternatives and have a rather romanticized notion of that default option and might still grow to regret it later which can then often lead to breakups/divorce if that only happens to one partner in the relationship. People who make different choices at least thought about what they want. Basically you want a partner who has already thought about these and not one who only discovers their actual preferences on these options a few years into your relationship.
So many ladies have asked me why I don't want kids that I needed to make a list 😂
Copy-pasting is easier and much faster 😂Hear, hear for the examined life!
Not having a Facebook profile. I've had someone initially refuse to associate with me on the basis that they couldn't investigate my life beforehand.
I just laughed and asked them how they managed to survive before the Internet (we were both old enough). We both got over the weirdness of the situation, built a robot, and were friends for a while before they moved away.
I'm sad now that I've never had a "build a robot together" friend
Well, you can have one now, if you want!
I usually build around the Pi pico as a brain, L9110 motor controllers, N20 DC brushed motors, and a standard 18650 lithium cell, and some generic BMS + switch mode voltage converters. From there you can either add sensors and make it autonomous (more challenging), or just control it via your smartphone (easier). You can either make it omnidirectional with mecanum wheels, (more expensive) or turn/forward/back motion only with a differential drive.
Along the way you'll learn to solder and code, if you don't know already. It's a suitable beginner to intermediate project. Most of the work is knowing what cheap parts work well together (read and interpret lots of datasheets), actually assembling and using the robot is pretty easy. Usually I can keep cost under 50$, but parts are cheap here -- certainly under 75$ in the West though.
What was the robot for?
For increasing the number of robots in the world, mainly!
I create things for filthy lucre all day at work -- "those must stoop, who gather gold". In my limited spare time, I mostly do the opposite -- I create things mostly just to create things, I don't worry about practical applications :D
I do design robots for STEM education at work though, and it shared a lot with those designs..
For people who value reading: if they have no books on their shelves. They might be avid readers of ebooks, or just use the library.
But this should clear itself up with a rather simple discussion started by mentioning a book you read recently.
I love reading but just can't, attention deficit is hard, and when I do have interest on a book/long text, I end up falling asleep two pages in, max three. I hate it ! I WANT to read this book bit keep falling asleep.
Have you tried audio books? And then combining that with a different activity, like driving? Or it makes chores way better! Like I can only listen to this while doing dishes and now dishes don't suck so much
They might also just have bad eyesight or a job that causes a lot of eye-strain so they might prefer podcasts or audio-books.
Any size.
If you're colorblind.
All these stupid "ignore them to seem attractive because interested = unsexy"
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
Having actively broken up a past relationship, knowing barriers.
Hanging out with friends rather than you sometimes, which is really important "relationship time management"
Not being a virgin anymore? Thats something good too.
I find it absurd that virginity or lack thereof has any bearing.
I guess it feels magical to be someone's first.
But as @otp said - experience brings knowledge of yourself and others and can make stuff more enjoyable and easier to do.Any bearing might be taking it a bit far. If we're both in our 30s and you've never had a relationship grow to the place of trust where sex occurs, I'm very interested in the why. It's not an automatic deal breaker either way, but as you age, it does communicate something about you, at least in Western cultures where sex outside of marriage is hardly taboo.
I don't think I would want to date someone that was a virgin; they wouldn't know what they actually liked or didn't like (fantasies are significantly different from real life; the things you fantasize about may not work for you IRL), and I wouldn't be interested in trying to guide them to a conclusion that may not align with my desires at all.
I had a partner that did all of that for me, and in the end, we weren't aligned. She ultimately didn't get what she wanted, because we couldn't reach an agreement. Or, we couldn't reach an agreement until it was too late.
Being a healthy weight - as misinterpreted by shallow young people that "want dat thigh gap".
"Thigh gap" doesn't typically happen at a healthy weight. That's usually a sign of being underweight.
Do people still talk about thigh gaps? I know there's still an unhealthy obsession with being underweight, but I thought that went out of style with Kony 2012.
There are a few people that would naturally get them at a healthy weight but yea... thigh gaps are usually a sign of an eating disorder.
A mindset of a few HAES morons who can't understand that an unexcessive diet isn't pure torture and are in denial, (willfully or not,) about what the other sex finds or should find attractive.
Go to any porn site and look at the most popular videos, they're the body type that most people find attractive. Whereas chubby/fat fetishises are always much more niche.
Inb4: I'm not saying that we should all be unhappy unless we have pornstar quality bodies/partners, I know that they're simply unattainable for many people and that it is a fantasy style of thinking. I'm saying that implying that people are sick in the head for being attracted to the most popular body types and trying to shame people in to accepting your unhealthy lifestyle is full on denial.
Edit: People will downvote me for "being an arsehole", but I'm here to debate the truth of things the way I see them. Not to try the gentle/soft approach or to try being your friend. Sometimes the truth hurts.
Conversely, ask any stripper, and they'll tell you it's the girls with more common body types that get the most tips. The explanation is usually that these girls look more attainable.
Them being happy for how they are, like myself being happy while larger.
Chemistry and attraction.
How is that a red flag? Did you misread the OP's question?
When lust was just the appetizer before love, not just empty calories as usual.
