Last panel is wrong. Genie would just grant him an MBA from a top tier school
I once looked through a textbook from my friend's MBA course. The first thing I noticed was in a highlighted box in the chapter on business negotiating: "Your skill at negotiating will affect the outcome of the negotiations."
These are the people that make 10X what I make.
It would be funnier if the genie says "there are two rules"
Japanese companies, this isn't a wish, it's a fundamental truth of the universe. Like gravity. No matter the scale or importance of them. I promise you your car exists because of an Excel 2003 file on some underpaid engineer's laptop that they periodically sync with an inventory system.
I once worked for a Japanese company where I had to make a presentation. In Excel, I shit you not. Then we had one of our "shadow" managers make a Japanese translation of the same thing. It took me two days to get the kerning and print layout right, especially with that weird english typeface that is Japanese standard, I hate to think how long the translator took to get their version right.
This is the way
Microsoft spent years and years trying to get people to not use Excel as a database, until they eventually had to give up hope that anyone who doesn't know the difference would voluntarily use Access, so they started adding database-like functionality to Excel to meet their customer's demands and try to make the experience at least a little bit less painful.
This is a real-life case of "meet the user where they are" despite the designer's wishes, because even within Microsoft, there is strong agreement on not using Excel as a DB.
i...isn't that the entire point of excel? what is it for if not to store data?
similarly i remember a reddit comment that broke my brain, saying no one should be using excel, they should be using a 'cell matrix organizer' or similar. we all can name 5 off the top of our heads
Excel is this weird mix of storing small amounts of data but so good for visualizing data. If people are saying it shouldn't be used to store data they mean massive amounts of data as opposed to something like some small scale accounting for a fund raiser.
Excel has a purpose, but storing data long term isn't it. It's for calculating data. It shouldn't be the single source of truth.
One of the things Microsoft did to make it work was extending the row limit from 65k to 1M. Apparently, Economics professors were very excited about that one, which explains a lot.
Storing data is only one of the parts to the formula of what makes a database. Proper databases require structured storage of the data and some way to query the data constructively. Excel did not have those features until Microsoft gave up trying to convince people to not use it as a DB and added it to Excel.
No simple way to join tables though, which is still pretty shocking to me.
This is basically what I run for a living and it's definitely not glamorous.
Employers get what they demand, what they deserve. Anyway excel works as a database until around 1 million entries...
Once you get to a million just start a new one and create a "master" spreadsheet that uses power query to append them all. Problem solved ;)
Don't tell anyone but I actually do this.
I work as a network tech for a globally spanning ISP specializing in fiber services, handling major maintenances that are service effecting for business and government customers (SLAs are in effect). These maintenances are planned and tracked through various excel sheets - housed either in a shared network drive (so yeah, we may run into issues where multiple people are trying to edit the same doc at once), or excel tables in a SharePoint.
Prior to the merger of companies I recently went through, we had actual database systems to track this stuff that worked just fine. And now we're relying on the same shit a grad student would use to track their doctorate progress. It'll work until it doesn't. Looking forward to the shit-show if it gets me overtime.
Anyone else use Microsoft Access....30 years ago?
How about last week?
Why yes this comic made me think of our users, why do you ask?
Fun fact: most of the electronic voting machines in the 2000 presidential election used Access to store vote counts. Access, the "database" with a user-editable audit table.
At least it had an audit table.
ADO or DAO?
3gb CSV file goes brrrr....
Should’ve been the version saying:
Geanie: “It is done”
Person: “But… nothing changed”
G: “Correct”
May I introduce you: webxcel
What the fuck. Thanks for sharing!
Isn't the Genie usually depicted as malicious, or at least mischievous? I would expect the Genie to grant the wish, knowing what a shitshow it would be.
Even Genie have standards.
Don't be gross, use CSV files
I mean it's a simple file format so it'll perform better because it doesn't have to decode any complex formats or protocols.
Big O? Never heard of it!
CSV is great but the byte loss on numbers is sometimes gruesome.
"I have to make a brochure for the printing shop and I'd like to compose it in Excel"
"There are actually five rules..."
"In Powerpoint?"
"Make that six."
Except PowerPoint is actually quite nice to make quick, easy and good looking visualizations and brochures without having to deal with Word
I can personally attest to entire universities advocating for student use of powerpoint for all sorts of printshop work to include thesis and capstone presentation posters for conferences :)
For people who don't want to spend time learning yet another single-purpose application, it works quite well
Use Libreoffice Draw
Honestly, since the introduction of 'tables', pivot tables, Power Pivot and Power Query, Excel is way more viable to be used as a database. Tables in particular mean that formulas fill down and the range automically resizes when records are added.
Iirc tables are actually treated similar to databases on the backend.
Kind of related question: Is it okay for me to use JSON as a small DB? I just store basic blog page data there.
I mean it will work, but for a blog I'd store the pages in markdown files, to make it easier to edit. For context, look into how Hugo works
I thought of that as well. I might switch to that. It will make the organization better anyways.
A few circumstances to consider...
If it's just your own little tool and you don't intend to share it with others: do whatever you want. SQL or NoSQL or JSON, it doesn't matter. Use your own judgement.
In my experience tho most homegrown JSON-based "databases" tend to load all data into the memory, simply because they are very simplistic (serialize everything into JSON and write to disk, deserialize everything into a struct). If your dataset is too big for that, just go straight for a full-fledged database.
TinyDB literally does this. in general its more of does this work for my use case and am i aware of its limitations.
If it works then it works.
yep, though IO might bottleneck you at some point, and then you can happily switch to mongoDB
then you can happily switch to mongoDB
My old ass crying in MS Access
one of our partners we have to integrate with at work sends us reports in ms access format. it's not fun, especially when everything is running in lambda and there doesn't seem to be any good libraries for reading ms access files that would easily run in lambda.
It can handle more than a million rows so why not?
In my experience it doesn't work well when you have more than a couple people editing the file. My company had a group of ten modifying the same file in live time; it led to huge desync problems.
I live in Excel hell and even that made me shudder. Just work on separate files and have a master spreadsheet append everything with power query.
I made a similar reply higher up and I fucking hate that that's a solution but it legitimately would work in this use case. I frequently deal with 1M+ row data sets and our API can only export like 20k rows at a time so I have a script make the pulls into a folder and I just PQ to append the whole fucking folder into one data set. You don't even have to load the table at that point, you can pull as-is from the data model to BI or make a pivot or whatever else you're trying to do with that much data.
This just struck a nerve...
cries
I imagine an alternate 4th panel wherein the genie says "ok you can bring back dead people." What do yall think? Also I bet we could come up with a themed genie or setting that would punch up the joke too. ♡♡ love it BTW, op.
Database? Good.
I use it to connect to another Excel "database" and generate a PDF form to print. No other way around unfortunately.
