Even if you are not religious (I'm not) we really need a Bible tv show. But it has to be 100% accurate, no cuting corners, at most they could modernize the language, but it has to have 100% of dialogues there. It would be amazing
Unless you are cramming the whole book into a single episode or movie the religious weirdos will just cherry pick the episodes they like, as they do with the book now.
I'd settle for a Bible written in plain, modern English. The closest I could find was Word on the Street but it was a white guy trying to write like a gangsta and it fell a bit flat.
That would be insanely hard to do accurately. There's some repeated stories (kings/chronicles or Matthew/Mark/Luke/John), there's stuff that isn't a story at all (Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, song of songs), and most of the new testament is letters.
The first thing that comes to mind is good omens but I don't if it's accurate.
It's close enough.
Not exactly what you're thinking, but Moral Orel dabbled in this. It was made by the guy you probably know as Starburns from Community.
who provides the voice of Mickey Mouse, but you might know him better as the guy from the "this guy fucks" meme.Edited because I confused two Greeks.
I want to see this done like an episode of Judge Judy, but it's some bored king as judge.
Both the title and the image seem to be misunderstanding what the story actually is saying, as if it were the king's kid that got ate.
24 Some time later, Ben-Hadad king of Aram mobilized his entire army and marched up and laid siege to Samaria. 25 There was a great famine in the city; the siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels[a] of silver, and a quarter of a cab[b] of seed pods[c] for five shekels.[d]
26 As the king of Israel was passing by on the wall, a woman cried to him, “Help me, my lord the king!”
27 The king replied, “If the Lord does not help you, where can I get help for you? From the threshing floor? From the winepress?” 28 Then he asked her, “What’s the matter?”
She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him today, and tomorrow we’ll eat my son.’ 29 So we cooked my son and ate him. The next day I said to her, ‘Give up your son so we may eat him,’ but she had hidden him.”
30 When the king heard the woman’s words, he tore his robes. As he went along the wall, the people looked, and they saw that, under his robes, he had sackcloth on his body. 31 He said, “May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if the head of Elisha son of Shaphat remains on his shoulders today!”
siege lasted so long that a donkey’s head sold for eighty shekels[a] of silver
Imagine a food shortage so bad that the nutritional value of the leather in the upholstery of your car is worth more than the cost of the car in good times.
Can you explain for an ignorant person? Because to me it sounds like they just cannibalized someone.
Yeah I fucked up, had a shitty day and didn't pay attention, but .eh, still funny tho, just I'm an idiot.
Just kill and eat the king, he's obviously shit at his job if they're all starving.
Do you think they made stickers featuring a photo of the king next to the words “I did that” to put on price tags for donkey heads? (II Kings 6:25)
How much son chowder you need to eat anyway?
Shau-dere? Shau-dere? It's "chowdah." Say it right!
More than zero is already to much
Wholesome
I looked into the verse and aftermath until I got bored.
Did the sneaky cannibal mom ever get punished? I read enough to know the uneaten son remained uneaten.
And did no one get mad that they boiled the first lady's son? Like, there's got to be better ways to cook a child. Boiling meat rarely leads to a tasty dish. Unless they made a stew I guess
Stew? With what ingredients? Do you understand what position you're in if your city is in a siege and brought to the point of eating children?
You should look into Holodomir
Binding of isaac lore
