Time for the poop knife
85 1 ReplyA complimentary poop knife and ruler should be provided.
30 1 Reply*poop knife and poop ruler
11 1 Reply
The poop knife stays on reddit. Please.
6 16 ReplyThe poop knife transcends reddit, please
21 2 ReplyCan't have both your fancy app and your fancy knife
6 1 ReplyI first learned of the poop knife on Metafilter.
3 0 Reply
Need one of those tools for measuring spaghetti portions attached
64 0 ReplyThat thing only works for standard length tho
5 1 ReplyPeriodically move it sideways. One oversized poop becomes two standard poops. Pooplication.
3 1 Reply
Gotta plan accordingly, or carry a poop knife.
32 1 ReplyThe real inconvenience is having to convert the olde world measurements to modern ones anyone would understand.
32 2 ReplyFortunately toilets tend to stay attached to a specific region, so it's possible to know which unit system the best majority of people using it will be most familiar with.
5 0 ReplyWhile americans don't measure in centimeters, we do understand grams. Weigh the damn poops.
4 0 ReplyThe United States, Liberia, and Myanmar all high five one another and beg to differ. It's an exclusive club
1 0 Reply
The arbitrary capitalisation of “Poops” and “Time” bothers me immensely.
22 1 ReplyBut not Bigger?
9 0 ReplyThe first letter if Bigger. That computes.
5 0 Reply
Sir. Sir. Sir! Your poop is too big. Please take it with you. Sorry for the inconvenience.
17 0 ReplyThat's funny... until I actually think about a 2.5in diameter turd... then I'm horrified.
15 0 ReplyPretty much this size
6 3 ReplyI think 2.5 inches would be closer to a soda can if we're using references.
7 0 ReplyThey should just refer to the caliber
5 0 ReplyRelevant username.
That thing is nowhere near 2.5" dia.
4 1 Reply
Just hang a poop knife. Problem solved.
13 1 ReplyWhoever is making those poops, I feel so sorry for your tattered asshole.
That's bigger than a Coke can.
13 1 ReplySure, sure. But they've probably been doing it for a while now.
I feel bad for the person who's come to expect them and isn't going to get their XXL turds today.
They are going to be very disappointed when they read that sign
6 0 Reply
When ya forget the tape measure outside of the bathroom 😔
11 0 ReplyTime to squeeze them sphincter muscles to extrude a 4 inch long, 2.25 in diameter turd.
11 0 ReplyAh, the Play-doh fun factory technique.
4 0 ReplyThat is way less volume. Acceptable.
4 0 ReplyRinse & repeat
1 0 Reply
I poop in metric so this doesn't apply to me.
I live in Japan and you can flush a pair of work boots down these toilets.
10 0 ReplyI poop in Courics
3 0 ReplyTake my upvote you magnificent bastard.
1 0 Reply
Here in Australia no one has "poop knives". American plumbing is a sad joke. Most Aussies don't even own a plunger.
11 1 ReplyThat's the size of a standard UK beer can.
What fucking animals are using that poor toilet?
8 0 ReplyDamn. Where's lemmy shitpost when you need it
7 0 ReplyWhat should be the lemmy equivalent of the poop knife? A shit blade? A defecation spatula? A dung spoon?
8 1 ReplyA bean batter.
3 1 Reply
How many courics is that?
7 0 ReplyAh crap, my poop is 2 and 5/8 inches in diameter and 6 and 1/8 inches long.
5 0 ReplyOkay, so I gotta pinch it off twice then?
3 0 ReplyNow we all know where Goatse poops
2 0 ReplyGotta get one of those Play-Doh shape-sphincters to shove up your butt before you get down to business to "defeat the huns"
2 0 ReplySuspiciously specific.
1 0 Replyagreed 🧐.
2 0 Reply