At 89 Seconds to Midnight, Doomsday Clock Now 'Closest It Has Ever Been to Catastrophe'
At 89 Seconds to Midnight, Doomsday Clock Now 'Closest It Has Ever Been to Catastrophe'
The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists moved the Doomsday Clock to 89 seconds to midnight, highlighting threats from nuclear weapons, the climate emergency, and emerging technologies.
Performative outrage is so very effective. Meanwhile, the largest military in the world is being led by a mad king and his tech oligarchy. No one will be around to move the clock to midnight when the time comes.
I've been assured that someone will be there to move it to 88 seconds
Just proving that it's all bs. It should be <30 seconds
At least they recently closed lots of overseas bases
The stupidity of trying to warn people of impending doom by moving a figurative dial 1/90th of its travel is perfectly suited for this timeline
3... 2... 1... One half... One quarter...
..... Three sixteenths..... I mean it Donald, you behave yourself right now!!
Zeno's Paradox tells us the end will never truly arrive... 🧔♂️🐢
My doomsday prep kit is ready. It's a camping chair and a bottle of whiskey. I have realistic expectations about surviving the end of the world.
Fuck it, I'm overdosing on edibles. "It's not possible" shut up I need this.
You might not die but at least you won't gaf about it.
I'd add a cigar and sunglasses
and some spheres of ferrous metal; perhaps some balls of steel.
I don't got wiskey but I got vodka at the ready.
I wonder what happens at Doomsday? Does someone take time out of their suffering to turn the clock to midnight?
Yeah, someone turns it to midnight, and then it's doomsday morning. And then later, when you get to work everyone thinks they're a freaking comedian when they say "ugh, doomsdays... am I right?" You'll have to hear some variation of that joke all day. "Oh man, doomsdays are the worst", yeah Bob, you're hilarious...
(And yes, you'll be working on doomsday, you don't get those off)
That's when we finally get clarity on the owner of every tract of land in the world.
Pony rides? Cake and ice cream? Smallpox?
That's when the big reset happens
Yeah, we know clock, we know.
Moving it only one second ahead to 89 seconds doesn't feel like it's enough, I feel more like it's 30 seconds or less.
My clock might be running a little fast then
Have you adjusted it for Doomlight Savings Time?
Things are tense, but are they really Cuban Missile Crisis levels of tense?
Just put it at midnight and be done with this.