Yesterday, I created my account on Lemmy.ml because I want to become mod on [email protected].
And I posted this comic on [email protected] It's SDV game cutscene where Shane a NPC go watch Sports game with you kiss you accidentily but It was part of that event also player kiss Shane(NPC) back. Here's video for more context.
And someone claimed it have SA(Sexual Assualt) From Hexbear Ofcourse. So, I should delete it. I said it was a part of game cutscene. And If main player doesn't love the Shane(NPC) then they don't need to complete this event. And Just as a sarcasm I added Yeah we shoule delete this entire community because this game is Woke like Woke Detector Steam Group said. That user think I am some anti-woke dickhead something like that IDK. And tell me to Kill My Self. What I do now? I wanted on become mod on .ml because community was already well established. I message dessaline but I am sure he will not unbanned me. :(
Did I really did something wrong? I don't know If I really did something wrong.
I block individuals all the time because instance block doesn't work. I still see shit from Hexbear and Solarpunk, I don't see individual accounts I block.
I figured blocking the instance would kill a lot of the interactions I had with the users there since I wouldn't see their posts. Seems to have stopped a lot of the random goofy dog piling they like to do.
The game in question allows you to date and marry different characters, among them Shane (represented in the comic with the purple hair). In order to do so, once the character reaches an affection level of eight hearts towards you, you need to give them a bouquet, that clearly signals that the player's avatar has romantic interest towards that person.
The comic represents Shane's ten hearts event. As in: you can only reach that point if you already showed romantic interest towards Shane. And in the context, the kiss is not even sexual in nature, it's just Shane excited with the game.
As in, there's no fucking way to interpret this as sexual assault.
But of course. Slacktivists gonna witch hunt, right? They're unable to understand context, but they're still really eager to screech at you. And .ml moderation in special has a nasty tendency towards both slacktivism and witch hunting.
This is SA and all my arguments are made in the original thread which OP conveniently never links: CW for SA and SA apology https://hexbear.net/post/3706906
It's a lot of stuff so I'll only mention a few points here and there. Others might want to check your link directly for context.
[CW: link contains frivolous usage of a word considerably more likely to trigger victims of sexual violence than a kiss in a comic.]
You're inferring too much from a drawing. The kiss is unexpected for two reasons: it is not a romantic situation (it's a sports game), and Shane not being an assertive person. Same sort of surprise as someone otherwise prudish using swear words. On being "limp", seriously?
I need you to understand that posts like these can absolutely wreck someones day and pose a barrier to the site and lemmy as a whole. So best case: it's ableist to put it up.
Everyone has a different trigger. You might triggering with your clothes, or your perfume, or your usage of a specific word unrelated to violence... that's awful but it's how things are.
It's simply too far from any reasonable boundary that we could say "no, this is going too far, it's too likely to trigger someone", you know?
Because if we [people in general] stop doing and sharing every single thing that might potentially trigger someone, we'll neither do nor share anything. Doubly so if we need to also take into account people who are oblivious to the context.
That includes your prescription not allowing women to express themselves, as it is the case of this comic. People across this thread have not mentioned the author, but here she is; so you got a woman representing the scene as positive, but apparently women can't have their fun too, right.
[She's also likely Latin American. It's common knowledge that folks here are considerably more eager to touch each other. Unless I'm supposed to pretend that the only valid behaviour rules are the ones followed by Anglos.]
Secondly: the fact that your first line of defense is "it's just a game" makes me want to shoot you. It's just a comment.
I'm highlighting this because it's an actually good argument. If this was indeed a piece of content encouraging sexual abuse (it is not, but let's pretend that it is), "it's just a game" would not be a valid defence.
Thirdly: Shane being a depressed alcoholic does not give him a pass to SA people?? And if he's been drinking even though he's an alcoholic all the more reason to step out of the situation. How is pointing out that this is not just a comic about SA but about an alcoholic relapsing and then SA'ing helping your argument? "oh he's been down lately, lets let this one slide"? [REDACTED]
You were so fucking close to convince me that you actually care about victims of sexual abuse being triggered by content on the internet. So close.
Until you posted the part that I've redacted off, containing a word that is considerably more likely to trigger them than a kiss in a comic. Rules for thee, but not for me???
The asterisk does nothing by the way.
Famously in stardew valley you aren't dating until after the ten heart event.
That is blatantly false. Eight hearts is when you start dating; ten hearts is when your relationship is solid enough that you can safely ask the person in marriage.
Props for actually discussing this, unlike most HB kids who hopped into this thread just to have fun. (...I kind of had my fun with them too.)
The thread showcasing your arguments and your desire for OP's death isn't the win that you believe it is. It makes you seem unhinged and divorced from reality. The thought process on display comes across as delusional, even sociopathic.
Why would anyone want to read anything from that cesspit? If you're going to make an argument, make it here. Otherwise you're falling on deaf ears as most people here know Hexbear's very poor reputation and won't bother.
One of the reason why our instance defederated from Hexbear. They're not there to discuss in good faith, they're there to incite and provoke, then they start crying if you reply back to their nonsense.
To be fair I've had good discussions with a few of them, so I can't generalise.
But... yeah, some of them don't quite realise that the childish behaviour that would be OK in HB is despised elsewhere, and that it's the the major reason why their instance gets defederated so bloody often - it is not red scare, it's "get the children back to the kindergarten so the adults can talk".
Celebrate. Move to another instance. Dbzer0, Solarpunk, Lemm.ee, .world, there are a bunch of choices. Takes some work to revive a community, but it's very doable. .ml has trash admins and mods, and that's unlikely to change.
Well, might try creating the Stardew Valley community on Lemm.ee then? You could do some reposting if you wanted a bit of easy activity while things wind up.
I have a rule. I will not join ANY community on .ml
Even if I would otherwise enjoy the content.
I'm even a fan of Stardew Valley, and I would like to subscribe to your.....oh. It's on .ml?
Hey, quick question. Does anyone know any decent Stardew Valley communities on Lemmy? I'd love to know if we have any Stardew Valley communities!
Why someone could even make a brand new community, and I would join! Any Stardew Valley on any instance besides .ml and besides any that defederated from .world.
I agree, but I would take .world off that list at this point. It’s getting weird. Not necessarily time to leave yet or anything, but if you have a choice for where to set up a home, I would pick one without little developing red flags.
Don't think I've seen anything from the .world admins that makes me second-guess making my home here. Not to say they're perfect, but I don't think I've seen anything that would make me think "Wow, these guys are in some way, fundamentally objectionable" rather than "These are amateurs making amateur mistakes, as one might expect from a volunteer service."
Some of the more established mod teams are less than stellar, though. Plenty of good mods, but certainly a fair share of mediocre or tetchy ones. my tetchy self included
I mean, none of these defederate from .ml right?.I feel like people say a lot of bad stuff about .ml but nobody seems to actually defederate from them. Why is this?
.ml 's big problem isn't the users, but the communities/mods/admins, unlike Grad and Hexbear. So defederating doesn't meaningfully decrease the workload for the mods or admins of a defederating instance by much.
The instance is the home of two of the core Lemmy devs, defederating would be a last resort for Admins.
Personally, I've never had much of an issue with their users (they tend not to cause too much trouble outside of their instance) so it hasn't felt necessary.
Like, if you are going to start literally executing landlords, then that's one thing, but otherwise it's just a pure fantasy, imho, divorced from the harsher realities of existence. i.e. it's childish, as you've noted elsewhere, which is fine except how it is exported to the entire Fediverse without really a way to fucking turn it off.
Though I've found two: lemmy.cafe and dubvee.org both have fully defederated from lemmy.ml. Mbin, PieFed, and Sublinks all each have their own approaches as well.
Having looked at your other post about it and the original thread, nah they were pretty in the right to take it down. What was depicted in that comic is exactly the sort of thing I'd imagine when thinking of toxic masculinity, it makes me extremely uncomfortable to think about anything like that happening in real life as it very clearly depicts a form of sexual assault. I really don't like the idea that this is something people think should be normalised, sexual assault is more than just r*pe. It doesn't really matter if it's from a game, it's an entirely valid point and that's as far as the discussion should go.
That said, the "makes me want to shoot you" comment wasn't called for and they should apologise for it, even if they were trying to make some other point.
When that scene happens, the player's avatar and Shane are already dating. He is not kissing some random person, but someone who already showed romantic interest towards him.
And while the sprites are ambiguous, the kiss is clearly on the cheek, until the player avatar returns the gesture and makes it a French kiss. Give this a check, around 13:08.
All this context is widely understood by players, because they looove to talk about those heart scenes. And the comic is read within this context.
So while I agree that sexual assault is not just rape, this is simply not sexual assault by any account. There's no violation of consent and, funnily enough, the sexualisation comes from the players' avatar (a woman in this case, but it could be also a man - the scene plays identically in both cases), by turning it into a French kiss.
Demonizing non-toxic masculinity and happy honest sexuality, by pretending that this comic depicts toxic masculinity or actual sexual assault, does favors to no one.
I can understand that a certain type of person could look at this and see a justification for assaultive behavior. Erasing the concept that something like this could ever be a wholesome thing, making the good side out to be something that is also the bad side and has to be shunned or equated to actual SA, makes that problem worse, not better.
Kissing the person you're dating is toxic masculinity now? Jesus fucking Christ. Please explain what toxic male stereotype was depicted here to make it make sense.
And did they both rape each other too, since they were drinking a can of beer and thus were not able to consent? Or does that also only work for men?
And yes, it completely matters if it is from a game, or any other fan fiction's source. It's a comic of a scene from its original source material. Context matters but people like you just want to be asocial. Just because you're not aware of the context, does not mean it doesn't exist.
Look man, I'm just giving my opinion of how it looked to me, it's fine if you disagree. But you don't need to be a dick about it.
I don't know why you'd say I want to be asocial, I read the comic and it made me pretty uncomfortable, within the context of the game sure fair point, it's fine. But not everyone is going to see it that why, so I disagreed, I'm not whatever monster you've decided I am.