“They [cats] engaged less in sleeping, eating and playing but more in seeking attention from humans and other pets, hiding, spending time alone and appearing to look for their lost companions,”
My old cat and dog used to fight constantly. One day we had to put down our dog and the cat howled for days cause his sparring partner was suddenly gone. Whether the cat was lonely or legitimately grieving, I couldn’t say, but the experience certainly was eye-opening.
Same for dogs. When my cat was killed, his dog-sister was in despairing grief for weeks. I'd hear her howling throughout the day, she stopped eating, and barely did anything all day. For the next few months, whenever she would hear/see a cat on tv or smell anything that belonged to the cat, she would get lively and attentive, as if her missing sibling was coming back. It was terrible to witness.
I just had to split the cats in my divorce. Mine has been yowling in empty rooms and he's clearly showing signs of depression (not eating as much, sleeping more, etc). My ex's has apparently been searching the new house for days and gets sad when he can't find me or my cat. They definitely have a sense of loss and vary in how they cope with it
I don't know how bitter the divorce has been, but is there any way the cats could move from house to house together? Or would you risk losing them both entirely.
It's very amicable but we're also moving a fair distance away from each other. One of them also hates the carrier and screams like a dying banshee, pees all over himself, it's ugly
I think this played out in my home last year around this time. (You can just skip reading it; this is catharsis for me..) (I’m debating just deleting this catharsis but I’m going to post it because I wrote it..)
I had one cat who hated everyone but me and sometimes her housemate. She was 16, but in pretty good health. The other I’d had for 10 years but idk how old he was, probably 5-10 when I got him. They didn’t get along that well, but he gave her space. He was a lover with multiple health issues who was on his way out for years. Importantly, he left her alone for the most part. She liked that about him.
I wanted kittens to learn his hyper-friendly ways and be good with her, too, because I thought she’d be around a while yet, and at least a few months on loverboy, so I got a pair from a barn. Runts; the only ones they could catch. Way too fragile to be in my care, but probably had a better chance with me.
One week after the kittens came home, the friendly cat had to be put down, he was ready to go, stopped eating and wouldn’t cuddle, he told me he was ready. So I scheduled it. I was ready for that to happen and had been since 2016 when the vet said he had 6 mths left. In retrospect he was telling me that for a while before that and I didn’t pick it up. That’s on me, and I accept it.
Next morning, the day of the euthanasia, woke up to one of the kittens being gone, she was failing to thrive and I didn’t think she was going to make it, but it still sucked really hard. They are buried together because other people seem to think that’s poetic or something.. he waited for her, or some such. And that sounds nice so I went with it. (this was 15JUL)
The remaining kitten was depressed as hell, wouldn’t play or do anything for days, and even the crabby 16 seemed sad that her companion of the past 10 years was gone.. got another kitten from that same barn but the grief did its damage.. the kittens were ok with each other but they aren’t siblings or anything and they haven’t really bonded the way I’d like.
Just when the kittens were starting to win over the crabby girl, she up and stroked out on me out of nowhere on 02SEP, plunging my house further into chaos (I was ready for my boy to go.. I wasn’t expecting that..)
Now I have a cat (kitten no longer) who suckles blankets for comfort, and another who gets misplaced aggressive when she sees another cat (and sometimes squirrels??). So you know, the trauma is real, and idk really how to help them, but it was a lot for them to experience in their formative stages.. and I mean I was depressed about it the whole time too (as an unrelated bonus, one of my turtles died in November..), so that certainly didn’t help..
I had a cat named Gizmo. My wife adopted a cat named Tiny Dinosaur. When Gizmo died, T.D. wasn’t too upset about it. Then I got a new cat named Elmira. When T.D. died, Elmira was pretty sad. She cried and sulked. Then my wife got a new cat named Fluffy. When Elmira died, Fluffy didn’t care.
Hmm maybe my wife just raises cold indifferent cats.
While the results support the idea that cats grieve, an alternative possibility is that owners are projecting their own heartache on to the surviving pet. “Consistent with this hypothesis, caregivers who experienced greater grief were more likely to report increases in their surviving cats’ sleep, spending time alone and hiding following the death,” they wrote.
Glad they wrote this, because it's exactly what I was thinking as soon as the article stated how they studied the cats.
I adopted two kittens together. One got sick and died under 2yo (similar to cancer). I had to hurry up and get another one sooner than I otherwise would have because the remaining kitty was massively codependent after he'd died. It was clear that she knew (he'd been increasingly sick over a few weeks, so it's not like just one day he was gone; she saw it happening). You could tell she was pretty upset and we sorta cried together for a week. Luckily, the next kitten that I brought home was a perfect fit, even if I was still heartbroken.
I used to have a cat that was raised with a dog and they had a ton of fun together until the dog died.
The cat was openly hostile to any dog after that.
I just always wonder what we gain scientifically with these kind of studies. Why do we need to prove this? Aren't there any more important issues these scientists could use their time and money on?
I'm asking in all earnestness. What is the benefit of this knowlege?
So many of those people treat their cat like a lamp though. Of course your cat is a "loner sociopath" - if you barely interact with it and never give it attention or enrichment it's going to fuck off and do its own thing without you.