I'm basically an orchestra with no conductor. The different sections are just doing whatever the hell they want. I need a conductor.
I'm seriously considering starting a financial management business for people with adhd like me who are in debt simply because they forget to pay the damn bill.
I wouldn't be managing anyone's finances, though, I'd hire people who aren't like me.
If you have enough money to afford a personal assistant, you probably donât have these problems because you have a personal assistant.
Auto pay saves me $1,000âs a year, that and getting a loan to consolidate all my credit cards so i would only have one late payment max a month, and itâs on autopay.
I have saved so much money with that damn loan and the All Mighty Autopay
I call that jazz. đ
I feel like this tells a lot about the state of the society we have where most people can't be what they want to be if they want to also make a living
ADHD is not a personal problem, it's a socioeconomic problem.
I think it's a personal problem too, because the human condition itself demands certain tasks that we might struggle with, but I absolutely understand what you're saying.
Despite my positives with ADHD, like being able to flip between constant emergencies all day, and getting constant praise for my work, my last job was threatening to fire me because they noticed I was 1 minute (literally 60 seconds) late a few times.
Good riddance to 'em, they had no idea how much effort it took to get within that margin with traffic patterns that change literally every day. They were also okay with getting there ridiculously early and jusy idling their SUVs in the heat until they could go in. Clown world.
I find that's somewhat of a norm systematically. Society will think it's "fair" to hold everyone to a standard of constant ridiculous feats of executive function that have no tangible effect on outcomes, measured by raw numbers at face value, and use this "data" to determine your worth as a person.
Like how else is it supposed to work currently? Who wants to deal with people's trash? Who wants to transport people around at 4 am in his bus AND have to deal with the shit attitude of people on top? Etc.
That's the funniest thing about payscales and such. They're far from the meritocracy we're sold from our first birthday.
Ask France what happens when their garbage stops going out.
Or hey, you also mentioned bus drivers, I couldn't pick just one article about city and school bus drivers striking, but in road-dominated societies, that's a pretty big deal.
So really, a ton of this is simply recognizing who does the work that actually keeps society going. If people like waste management and transportation and other services were actually treated with respect, they also wouldn't have to deal with as much "shit attitudes" either.
But instead, they're constantly pointed at by the communities they serve, who say things like "You don't wanna be a garbage hauler or bus driver...study hard so you can one day sit in a corporate office and make six figures contributing nothing to society!"
I wish I could figure out if I have it. I asked my doctor how to get diagnosed, he said Iâd need to talk to a psychiatrist. I got a referral and tried to setup and appointment but they said I couldnât be tested since I have no history of it. They instead want to put me on antidepressants but Iâve gone through enough of them to know that ainât what my issue is.
Mental health care in this country is a fucking joke.
If you really think you need to be medicated, try different doctors until you find someone who specializes in ADHD. The rest have no clue what they're doing and regularly try to treat the symptoms of ADHD (such as depression about how much your life is coming apart due to ADHD) instead of the cause.
I honestly donât want to be medicated, but Iâd like a diagnosis to help me find strategies. Iâm middle aged so have figured out how to live with the brain I have but it would be nice to not have to struggle against my nature so much.
Iâm probably just lazy or easily distracted, or disorganized, etc. and am looking for excuses.
Thatâs what theyâve done with my daughter. Itâs clearly adhd, but they want to start with antidepressants (Prozac).
I just wish theyâd treat the poor kid so she can start feeling like a normal person. She struggles so much. It doesnât matter what she does, sheâs doing something else immediately. She canât focus on anything.
Just like the meme says though, she a good musician and artist. Anything else though and sheâs just stuck. I hate it. I should have dealt with it sooner.
@theangryseal
This seems to be the way a lot of doctors are choosing to start..I really think starting with treating the adhd and, if desired, a coach or therapist to work on coping techniques.
My sons and I went through this journey and the antidepressants were all horribleâŠ. Mood-altering horrible. Helped nothing in our case.. but also found many on the Interwebs that have had similar experiences.
Hey dude. That whole experience with the psychiatrist sounds wrong. Of course you have history. And that in no way qualifies or disqualifies you from getting a diagnosis. In saying that, I agree with db0 in that a diagnosis won't necessarily help. You can absolutely look up strategies and routines, tips ect on how to improve your experiences and try applying the ones you like and see how it goes. Psychiatrists might diagnose you and then want to put you on medication because that is their job and how they get paid. The cognitive behavior change work is usually done with a psychologist, in groups and in your own time. There's some great worksheets available online if you look around.
well, I've got other stuff going on, depression and a brain injury last year that I'm still working through. on top of that, as a kid in the 80's I was tested for ADD but at the time they were more looking at the inattentive behaviours. however, I'm pretty sure I'm the other side of that coin and ADHD didn't become a thing (at least mainstream) 'til several years later.
anyway thanks, I really appreciate the advice.
But only "pretty good"! Which sounds neat but that is just one step above "foundational" and good luck getting to mastery after skipping that, and finding the whole proposition a bunch of bullshit and really pretty good is enough, let's do the next thing and the next until we lose a few more forgotten "pretty goods" for lack of practice!
Why you gotta attack me like that?
;-)
My bookcase of half read textbooks and manuals agrees with you
I feel seen and I donât like it.
Joke's on me I guess; I'm also dogshit at things I want to do!
Try âwe enjoy things we dont suck atâ
Regardless of how few things i believe this is true for most people.
Oh well, at least I can rotate between behavioral addictions for constant distraction
I feel personally attacked.
Lol it's me
Lol you're me
If you don't care about it then you shouldn't be investing your (valuable, finite) attention in it.
So all that weak stuff, be slackful about it. Squeak by on the halfassed minimum.
And the stuff that matters, do it perfectly.
That's what every great artist/inventor/scientist/philosopher/etc has done since forever.
Some of that "weak stuff" includes things like:
- Basic Hygine.
- Maintain relationships you care about but struggle with.
- Focusing on a conversation that is interesting or has valuable information you need but drift off after 30 seconds because you notice something in the background, a misplaced hair on their face, or your brain over corrects and you get stuck in the "must focus" internal mantra.
- Remembering to eat instead of hyper focusing on a project and time blindness kicks in and it 14 hours later.
- So-man-other-things.
ADHD is a fucking struggle mate. And your advice is oblivious to the realities of the struggles and life.
Yeah, because clearly everyone without an ADHD diagnosis is a calm competent person with their life together. /s
