Cruel and unusual punishment

You are hereby remanded to upgrade a legacy Java 1 system, written by interns, to Java 8. May God have mercy on your soul.

At least they are allowed a ThinkPad.

Not seen: Prison-issued thigh high rainbow socks.

God forbid we actually rehabilitate people instead of profiting off of their enslavement and not actually giving a shit if they get better or not.

Paraphrasing a Scandinavian who gave an interview I once saw in a TV documentary about the correction system in some nordic country:

Once that perpetrator gets out of prison and rents an apartment next to you, would you rather he was subject to inhumane punishment? Or would you rather he was treated like a human being and learned how to behave in society?
- Heh, the amerikkkan answer is simple: don't let them rent next to you. They've accomplished it by ridiculous rent prices, charging inmates to be in jail (so they come out with debt), and shackling them to low paying jobs.
There's gotta be less cruel ways to rehabilitate people, though.

I'm kidding. Welcome reformed convicts, to the wonderful and awful world of coding!
It’s even more absurd as surely the objective should be to have less victims of crime, so doing whatever gets that result seems logical.
- A lot of people's concept of justice isn't based on logic. Rehabilitation makes more sense logically, but retribution feels better.

The murderers have to do C++.

I already do C++, so I must have a few credits built up...
- If you do COBOL it's a get out of jail free card
Don't murderers do filesystems?
- I got this. For those that don't, search about reiserfs and the author's criminal history.
They’ve already got the requisite skills for Unix

man kill

pkill -P <parent_pid> —signal SIGKILL

killall -9

Maybe they can teach them to maintain the Linux wireless drivers.

*2.000000001 years

Impossible! You mean to say... prisoners are just human beings?! Preposterous! Ludicrous, even!

Wrftf is rehabilitation?

I wanna punish and increase recidivism!
- Ahhh a fellow American I see.
  
  Justice is "just us" and is exclusively meant to maximize misery.

What heinous crime one must commit to be forced to learn fortran

Pursue a particle physics degree

Source: I've been at my masters thesis for two years please kill me
- You got this bro 👊
Isn't Fortran more or less Basic with Maths?
- No. For several reasons.
  
  Fortran is older than Basic and C. In fact, Fortran is more or less the first high level programming language. The first Fortran compilers date to the early 1950s.
  
  Fortran was created mainly for the purpose of linear algebra: operations with (giant) matrices. Linear algebra is used to compute approximate solutions to ordinary and partial differential equations, and this is a major part of what people needed computers for (and still do).
  
  Programming concepts like subroutines, functions, if statements with blocks and else clauses... All of those were not in original Fortran because no one had thought of them. These things entered Fortran over time as they became popular, and goto slowly became less popular. Syntax from the punch card era was replaced in Fortran 90, but it is still available as an option for compatibility purposes.
  
  Structurally, I prefer to describe Fortran as like C, but with better built-in arrays, and no built-in general purpose pointers. Not having the pointers allows the compiler to do certain optimizations that C can't. But C is the better systems language, because the pointers let you naturally express all kinds of data structures besides arrays.

They're not allowed to teach Java. Otherwise they'll be referred to the ICC for crimes against humanity.

The sentence should scale with the crime. Nonviolent burglars and minor frauds could be taught Python, more serious crimes could get Go, whereas the most depraved offenders could be sentenced to C++

Not envious of that serial killer having to decide between Assembly and Haskell
- The real reason Hannibal Lecter broke out was he had to write Clojure in Notepad
- Haskell would be reserved for drug offenders
- They have to maintain the code of the ReiserFS project.
- Reoffenders get J

I hear they do micro work for mechanical turk in some Finnish prisons. It is optional, but surely won't teach you anything at all about tech.

Beats being a slave on a chain gang in the American prison system.
- Well maybe, micro work is really dehumanizing and cognitively rough. I hear some US inmates do work at McDonalds and if I had to choose between that and microwork, and if time I spent working was the same with both options, I would take the fastfood job any day. At least have done that before irl so I know what to expect.
  
  I'm ADHD in IT job, and my mind would explode if work I did with computer was just unskilled datasorting job.
  
  But I do know US inmates have basically slave conditions. But I read a book about microwork and it sounds like psychological torture to me. Like what they do in Severance.
  
  (Work without worker is the book)

Objective hell.

Ah yes, the pip to npm pipeline!

Cruel and unusual.

Pascal breathing heavily in the common room

if you get sent there for computer crimes you might get the worst sentence: Teaching those "tech skills."

Nice joke, but learning coding it's not a form of punishment, for some people is actually fun and productive. Prisoners must do some work-out, not get sedentary and grow a programmers belly. Open prisons it's really open in Finland because your ass will be popsicles in no time if you try to run, and it's just one direction for you to run, to South East cuz the other way it's an freezing ocean, some big mountains that will make you a miner looking for heat, so i guess, learning to mine it's the way to go ...

"Their methods are unusual, but very effective!!"

console.log("surprised pickachu face");

You whiners and complainers are all lucky. I don’t see anyone mentioning PL/SQL.

What did he do? Kill a crowd of innocent people using an old woman as a club?