Autism
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Socializing Advice to Break out of NPC voice lines?
Hey everyone!
Long time no post… The Cinny client for Matrix no longer functions even after updating, so I have lost access to the chat.
Anyways, I have been thinking a lot lately about the amount of awkward silences I’ve run into with others. It feels like some people are significantly easier to hold a conversation with, as they themselves are invested just as I am in our topics and dialogue. However, it almost feels like the other person is attempting a strange power dynamic with purposeful silences, staring, or otherwise conversations going downhill.
I’m not trying to be overly dramatic or to blame others, I just want to be as pleasant as possible for both the other person and myself. After all, good conversation can be wonderful!
Hoping to start a discussion with this nebulous afterthought and maybe get some ideas going for conversation skills and building social intuition!
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I'm an officially diagnosed Autistic and a self diagnosed Narcissist. AMA
This was suggested to me by @[email protected].
- I'm a late teen (17). I got an autism diagnosis (which still causes more problems, than good) when I was three years old.
- You already know a lot about autism (since most of you are autistic), so you don't need any explanation (even if it's a spectrum).
- Now let's explain why I think I'm a narcissist: When I entered high school a few years ago, I started feeling superior to my schoolmates. At first I felt, this was justified, as I have way better grades than my schoolmates (and had a way higher admission score (or whatever it's called) than others), but later I realized, it was unjustified, as even if I'm smarter, than everyone, I have other challenges (executive function, procrastination of anything related to communication). That wouldn't be anything weird, but even after that realization, I just can't grasp the fact my schoolmates aren't stupid and useless. AMA
PS:I know it's a way too long post and doesn't belong here, but it is what it is.
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I've been trying to figure out people.
YouTube Video
Click to view this content.
I don't know how to explain. But this video clicks a few pieces together for me.
Maybe it will help another autistic person "fit in" better.
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Is it possible that gender dysphoria could be misdiagnosed as autism?
I feel like it's a bit of a long shot. I could see how certain things like being depressed could contribute to being withdrawn and lead to a lack of social skills.
I feel like my sister was misdiagnosed because I tend to be the voice of compassion when we talk about issues related to people with autism.
And of course there's a correlation between having autism and being trans.
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Neurodiverse communication
If someone thinks that autists have trouble communicating, they just need to see us talk to each other!
(Also, I often identified as an alien as a kid.)
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shutdowns/meltdowns in dreams
[cw: cptsd? meltdowns/shutdowns]
i'm wondering about people's experiences with having meltdowns or shutdowns in their dreams. is this common? how do you deal with it if you get this?
i often have stress dreams rehashing themes from a period in my life when i experienced a very high frequency of shutdowns due to life circumstances, and was wondering if this is common as perhaps a delayed (potentially ptsd) reaction/processing thing. i thought it was interesting that, at least recently, there have been increasing numbers of meltdown dreams where i feel completely overwhelmed by sensory and emotional stimuli, causing me to enter uncontrollable rages, typical meltdown urge to self injure (e.g. head banging), et cetera. this is despite both of the facts that in the past i barely, if ever, experienced meltdowns, as well as that at the moment i live a calmer, comparatively stress-free life with very infrequent meltdowns or shutdowns.
there is probably a link between past shutdowns causing delayed processing as dream meltdowns perhaps? at the time of the shutdowns i feel like they probably happened as a result of external pressure not permitting meltdowns maybe.
i suppose i'm just looking to see if anybody has experienced anything similar/to vent a little haha. i don't really know what to do about it. my dream lucidity isn't regularly that high atm. it would be nice if anybody has figured out a way to deal with it other than the regular ptsd dreams rescripting advice (hasn't really worked)/sleep health. the regular night terrors are genuinely becoming exhausting at this point and not looking forward to a life of this ngl. does it get better with time?
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Had my final assessment for autism the other day
I was diagnosed 7 years ago as autistic, though I didnt realise at the time it was a diagnosis, I was informed a few years later that what I thought was a specialists opinion was actually a formal diagnosis. But due to family history, my adhd was addressed first. They were supposed to refer me to autism specialist after the adhd stuff but due to mistakes I got discharged and it took a few years and a few phone calls to correct the mistake. So I knew I have adhd, I understood I was a bit autistic. Fast forward to this week, I got a call after my assessment, and I score extremely high for autism. I was a bit surprised by that, as I function mostly quite well in my day to day despite some things maybe being a little harder for me than other people. My specialist explained that an ability to function does not measure someones level of autism. So now I guess im very autistic.
Its bittersweet. Its helpful to know and im being given resources and access to groups for coping and one that helps you stay in work - which is the important one for me as before my current job where my manager has been very patient and understanding, I have always had a lot of problems with employment. Im still not quite processing it fully, but Ive felt some hints inside myself that this does also make me feel a bit sad, but I probably wont be sure of that until later on one night when I cant get to sleep due to delayed processing.
Groups like this and others have been a big help throughout my diagnoses journey, and alongside reading about autism research and speaking with people in these groups, ive learnt a lot about myself and ways to manage my daily life and lessen the impact of everything.
I still feel like a bit of an imposter when seeking help, as I am very high functioning, and can pass as quite intelligent in most settings, and working at a job where I often encounter low functioning and even non verbal poung people, its hard to feel like I deserve to ask for help in the first place.
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I suffer from this thing called object permanence
A thing only exists if I know it exists. I experience good days and bad days but I do the best I can to keep moving forward despite this flaw. I don't have any wisdom to share but I hope y'all have a nice day 😊
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identifying triggers for overload
Hi ppl,
I am really new to the idea of being autism and since it becomes clearer to me to understand what this means to my life today and in the past, i am feeling a lot more stressed which leads to shutdown over shutdown.
Oft course I can name some triggers like public transport without ANC or some situations at work where I need to talk to customer I really dislike. Those were things I ever hated.
Thankfully I built up a collective working environment and being my own boss , which means that I can change at least everything in my working day pretty easy. BUT it is really hard for me to unterstand what is good for me and what is not good, cause this was nothing I ever learned in my life before. It was more often like "eat that frog, life is hard!". I now try to reduce stressful activity and find more time for me and try to guess my needings but struggling in figure out what is not good for me. I dont feel it in the Moment it happens but shutting down a few hours or days later.
How did you isolate triggers and how do you handle them, if they are not that easy to cancel or you dont want to lose sbd? What do you do in a shutdown situation when you cant escape easily?
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being deprived of solitude long enough will eventually kill me.
I can actually vibe quite bigly and be very animated/engaged, but at the end of the day, I am an introvert, and a certain amount of mental recharge time is absolutely 100% required or my mind will stop working right.
What I mean by that is, if I am continuously exposed to the presence of "incompatible" human beings (the "compatible" ones seem to be a subset of people with ADHD / ASD / mood disorders), I will literally start showing symptoms similar to dementia, I will progressively lose my ability to speak and understand language, I will eventually start having (boring) hallucinations, etc. All of this is reversible if I am subsequently left the fuck alone, though the cognitive effects can persist for weeks or months after a bad episode.
In part because I do tech work which requires keeping a lot of information in mind at once, the above issue renders me unable to work during acute burnout, and unable to predict when or how much I'll be able to work during chronic (but not acute) burnout.
Because of this, I am (by some definitions) homeless, don't control my living environment, don't even fully control my diet for various reasons, etc. I'm actually writing this post as a tangent from looking up diabetes warning signs and discovering I have a number, all consistent with each other, all of which slowly got worse at the same rate over the last 5 years of chronic burnout. This is a result of not being able to control my diet or my exercise level (wayyy too fatigued from overstim most of the time).
But it's all, 100% of it, a carryover effect of not being able to get enough solitude that my mind can self-regulate sufficiently to be able to do paying work on a regular basis.
I lost my home a few years into the burnout and wound up bouncing thru a series of friends. Every single household had human factors that drove me into burnout. It's people who don't know how be still, who are always Doing Something even if they are sitting still - I can never stop perceiving them or being "on guard" in a house with them. It grinds me right down to the bone and then some. Anyway it was just dumb luck of the draw - some percentage of the population I can live with just fine. 3 years into this phase I ended up in an area that's very sprawly, did get a car for a while but not one I'd trust to take more than 10 or 15 miles, you should have seen this deathtrap, it was like a sitcom car, and anyway it died last year. So, I can't just walk to town and work at McDonald's or whatever. Camping options (uninhabited woods) exist but camping in them is illegal (which I've done on a couple desperate occasions).
I'm not entirely sure why I'm even posting this, other than to say I made a friend diagnosed with ASD a few years back who has a very similar symptom profile to me, but who is even more sensitive than me, and trapped like this with her own family. I know y'all are out there. You're valid. I know you're trying even if you've been so goddamn tired your eyeballs could melt for a month, 6 months, a year, 3 years.
I don't know about you, but I literally just need to be left the fuck alone and I will be fine, and able to pull myself out of the hole in 6-12 months. But that's the problem, this is America, nobody gets that kind of runway unless they're rich (or young and middle class with nice and/or indulgent family).
I don't need to be alone, but with 4 alcoholics having a rager in the rest of the house.
I don't need to be alone, but with occasional random people in and out of the house.
I don't need to be alone, but for only 24 total hours each week in irregular intervals.
I need to be able to access solitude / the company only of people who don't fixate my attention with their human presence, whenever I need, for as long as I need. Period.
Anyway, I'm legit thankful to live in a society where this is even fucking possible. I'm in North America and I know how to tickle computers. I've been on my ass for a literal decade, but if anybody can finagle a way back from it, it's me.
There are a lot of people who started off like I did - lower middle class with bright parents - and who ended up like I did, who beat themselves up relentlessly over it. I went to support groups and I saw how bad they hurt. Fortunately I don't have that problem, but I like to keep myself from developing it by doing shit like meditating, and watching videos of South Asian metalworking factories where dudes pour molten steel into molds while barefoot, and don't wait for the dust to settle in the lead oxide ball mill tumbler before opening the door and taking in a nice big lungful.
Eh, that's probably enough for now. I see you and love you, obligate introverts.
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I am myself and myself is bad at fitting in
cross-posted from: https://sopuli.xyz/post/13715105
> Idk how to embed audio to Lemmy but imagine it playing on the background lol > > Lazlo bayne - I'm no superman > >
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How to spot autism in High Masking Autistic Women - What’s behind the mask? -- Autism from the Inside
YouTube Video
Click to view this content.
I think that this video has helped me develop some insight on how to spot high-masking autism, not just among women. I found a lot of the material covered in the video relatable even though I am male. Maybe that has something to do with our elevated rejection of established gender roles as a whole. Regardless, I like how rather than listing concrete signs, he gave a list of patterns that would be common to masking autistic women (I believe all genders, really) in a manner that could still be easily noticed. This also helped me understand that the cause of some autistic traits are not fundamental, but rather a result of masking. 🤯
Aside from the signs of masking autism, the ending hit me emotionally. He validates something that no one has really validated for me. I've been told my entire life that I was too much, not enough, or purposely trying to violate rules and norms out of some moral or character failing. It's like I wanted to be careless/offensive or a loser. However, when he covered how much effort we put into masking and that it takes a lot of energy to do, I felt a validation I don't remember ever experiencing. It's like someone said, "I believe you're doing your best."
He also elaborates on the impact of when we tell someone that we're autistic or have difficulties in certain areas and they invalidate it by saying that we're not autistic or that we function normally. He then posits that when we unmask, we need others to validate that experience. I think that statement was not only directed at us, but others that have autistic people in their lives. I plan on using that to guide who I continue to allow in my life. If I need to mask or am invalidated by someone when I unmask, then they're not a good fit for me, so I will interact with them less.
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Autismus Diagnose Anlaufstellen Deutschland
[post is about autism diagnostic in germany, so is the language]
Moin ihr lieben,
ich bin gerade auf der Suche nach einer ASS Diagnostik für Erwachsene in Deutschland. Den Wunsch das in und um Hamburg herum zu finden habe ich schon aufgegeben, da die Wartelisten bis minimum 2025 geschlossen sind. Meine Idee war dann, dass ich meinen Suchbereich ausweite und hoffe auf diesem Weg Anregungen zu bekommen, wo es Ambulanzen oder Kliniken gibt, die vielleicht etwas weniger Wartezeit haben. Ich bin ohne Frage gewillt auch dafür quer durchs Land zu fahren.
Viele Grüße
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Need noise cancelling headphones recommendations
I'm really needing new headphones to drown out the noise when I'm out on Public transit or just at home during panic attacks.
Very small requirements for anybody that has some they enjoy.
Bluetooth and works with android devices (preferably without a app aka natively). Has good noise cancelling and can block out most sounds but doesn't have horrible ringing in them (I'm using from the super cheap kinda noise cancelling?) doesn't have to be good with music but preferred though.
In ear or over idc about that
Has to be under 100.
If anybody has recommendations it would be awesome.
Fyi new to Lemmy so forgive me if I don't do some proper "etiquette". Also autism :p
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Is somebody ever completely demotivated with everything? How do you deal with it?
Occasionally I have these days where I don't feel like doing work or chores. So I'm thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
But then I don't find any motivation to do anything really. Not even the things I normally enjoy very much.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
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How was this show made
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16132498
> How was this show made
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Just got done at the doctor, over explaining everything to the point of them tuning out. I feel like such a loser right now.
Why can't I just be normal. Why do I have to be so zoned in. Why does my attention never go beyond my own skin.
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Wait, its all autism?
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/13942739
> Sometimes I look back on my life and wonder exactly how much of my life and current personality is purely due to the autism.
- theconversation.com The voice in your head may help you recall and process words. But what if you don’t have one?
The lack of an inner monologue seems linked to a lower ability to recall words and predict their sound.
How does this play for you ? I identify as spectrum, what used to be Asperger's, and have to work really hard to get to visual phantasia, but I can. Also worked hard to remove aural phantasia? via meditation because of negative self talk. Do you see 'aphant' as a useful designation? Thoughts, Ideas?
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Did anyone else here get mentally exhausted from their diagnosis tests ?
from the puzzle solving and maths questions to answering of questions
I fell asleep from the mental exhaustion after I got home
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Autism rule
the people I know don't listen and often hear the opposite of what I say. That's why I have to repeat myself a lot.
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Scientists Use Mice Models to Help Pinpoint Possible Main Cause of Sensory Hypersensitivity in Autism (not conclusive)
scitechdaily.com Scientists Pinpoint Main Cause of Sensory Hypersensitivity in AutismSensory hypersensitivity in mice with Grin2b mutations is associated with hyperactivity in the anterior cingulate cortex and increased connectivity throughout the brain. A research team led by Director Kim Eunjoon of the Center for Synaptic Brain Dysfunctions and Director Kim Seong-Gi of the Center
cross-posted from: https://literature.cafe/post/10359040
> Scientists Pinpoint Main Cause of Sensory Hypersensitivity in Autism > > This study has identified the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) as a key area in the brain responsible for sensory hypersensitivity in autism spectrum disorders. Utilizing a mouse model with a Grin2b gene mutation, heightened neural activity and connectivity in the ACC was observed. Suppressing this hyperactivity normalized the sensory hypersensitivity, offering new insights into treatment options > > https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-024-02572-y > (open access)
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This is what stigma around autism sounds like to an autistic person (comedy sketch)
YouTube Video
Click to view this content.
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Anyone here complete any online program to help navigate the world as an autistic person? If so, what program, and what did you think about it?
I'm looking for online programs that help us navigate the world as autistic people. It could be anything, such as learning about autism, neurotypicals, social settings, identifying your emotions, self-care for autistic people, common terms related to autism, autistic love languages, etc...anything that helps autistic people live life.
If you have completed any programs related to being autistic, what were they and what did you think about them? Were they helpful?
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So many of my cringe moments growing up were when I responded inappropriately to social situations and got laughed at. I felt so alone growing up.
The 60s and 70s (for me) had no awareness of my problems. Only now am I discovering that I did what I could, but I wasn't equipped to deal with people well.
It's too late for me, but I'm glad kids today have more resources, although the problems are just as hard to navigate.
God bless you all.
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Could bipolar people also be 'on the spectrum'? I had a natural birth (oxygen could have been cut off to my brain during birth?)
I'm not the kind of 'trendy' bipolar, although my cunt of an aunt believes I have 'convinced' myself of that, despite being to the nuthouse twice (50 days total) and several psycho-shinks having diagnosed me with several other mental disorders; the very first nuttyness I got diagnosed with was of course, ADD/ADHD. I was given Ritalin. I still take Ritalin though, 2 kinds of it (36mg extended release and 20mg regular type),
So given that I have had a natural birth, the flow of oxygen could have been cut off to my brain. So could I also be 'on the spectrum' as they say?
I am not a healthy person. I am very obsessive with shit nobody cares about. But that's the funhouse version of 'autism' that media shows. Plus it could be from Ritalin use.
How do I know that I am 'on the spectrum' without relying much on any external sources? Is it like bipolarity where they give you pills? What does exactly happen when you are known to be an autistic person?
Is it even necessary if I get diagnosed? I already know my brain is not right. So what's the use in getting the double.
But honestly I have some obsessions that could signal a bit of on-the-spectrum-y-ness? Like why do I hate Rust and all Rust programmers?
I don't do well socially either. Again I realize these are 'funhouse' and 'stereotypical' things people say about people on 'the spctrum'. But I get annoyed even if people use the apostrophe ' incorrectly!
I could just be an obsessive asshole. I am also a druggie but that's a whole other story.
My family is chockful of bipolar people btw, but not many autistic people. My second cousin, son of my first cousin once removed, is autistic. As I understand chief reason for this is your mom and dad being old. Like my first cousin once removed was 40 when she had her son, her husband was in his 40s too.
On the other hand, my mom was 21 when she had me, and my dad 26. It's a known fact that the younger humans are, the healthier you are. I am not trying to troll anybody, this is just a fact. Two things ruins chances of a healthy off-spring, one is consanguineous relations, the other is age. I live in one of those retarded countries where it's still not proven to people that fucking your cousin is bad actually. My parents were from different cities, different races even. My dad was brown-skinned and green-eyed, my mom is white-skinned and brown-haired. Both are ethnically Persian though. Although my dad's grandmother was a gypsy, these gypsies are not the ones you find in Romania, these are the gypsies who stayed behind closer to the place of origin. We call them 'jatts'; and that's how anthropologists know gypsies come from India (if people close to India call them 'jatt', and there's a group of people in India called 'jatt' then, put two and two together I guess! You are smart, your parents weren't brother and sister, or were they?)
Thanks for your help.
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How do you experience eye contact?
I'm still on my journey of understanding the differences between autism and other. My focus today is eye contact, so let's have a discussion!
Guiding questions:
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What do you think is the underlying difference that causes autistic people to use less eye contact than others?
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What does it feel like for you?
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How do you interpret other people's eye contact?
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Do you avoid it, use short glances, or maintain NT-levels of eye contact?
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Does it vary by situation?
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Anything else you would like to discuss regarding eye contact?
Question is open to anyone. If not identified, then the assumption is the user is autistic. Otherwise, if you're NT or other ND, please state so 🙂
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What are things considered romantic, to be avoided in a relationship?
My partner and I just had a talk about it. Basically, she celebrated her birthday today. I was on her party, and it was fun, but I left after around 2 hours to get home and relax a bit. After I arrived, a friend of mine texted me and asked me if I wanted to go to a lake and see the sunset. I agreed, we went to the lake and went swimming in it; it was really nice. Later, after arriving at my partners, she talked with me that it hurts her that I went out with someone else on her birthday, doing a romantically coded activity.
To be honest, I realize that I don't have a single clue what is coded as a romantically coded activity. For me, this was something completely okay and appropriate, because it is for me clearly a friend-thing; but my partner explained to me that the combination of going out with another person on her birthday and going to a sea, which is a secluded place, just heavily connotates it in a romantic way.
I understand that what I've done here wasn't right, and that I have responsibility here. Even though I didn't want to hurt my partner, it is still my responsibility to inform myself here on romantically conmotated things you shouldn't do in a partnership. So, dear people of Lemmy, what does constitute a romantic moment?
Edit: I've left out some information which seems to be important for the whole picture . I've copied it out of my comment and adding it here:
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Me and my gf got together in August of last year, so basically 8 months ago; we were friends for half a year before that. She got cheated on in her long distance relationship before.
The friend who invited me to the sea I actually know for almost as long as my partner, from the beginning of Uni. She had a breakup from a three-year old relationship a few months ago, and I was there to support her. I didn't clarify before though if she was okay with me cuddling with people or not; I assumed it was with her, because it was okay in her LDR before - which was wrong of me. I overstepped the boundaries of my partner here.
The friend in question kissed me at the neck while I was at hers. I talked with her about it and let her know that I wasn't okay with it, to which she reacted quite hurt. She then told me that we shouldn't be friends, but two weeks ago she collapsed at Uni and I brought her home. Now we are meeting again.
While I'm writing this down, I'm actually starting to notice that there are a lot of other factors playing in why my partner is upset here. She has been cheated on in the past, which definitely leads her to feel uncomfortable about my actions, even though I obviously don't want to cheat. I broke a societally unwritten rule of not meeting people in romantically coded settings on your partners birthday. And I overstepped the boundary of my partner before by cuddling with the friend without my partners consent.
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Recommendations of what fabrics to wear?
I want to be more respecting of my own sensory needs, and notice certain fabrics are incredible uncomfortable, as opposed to others. I've also noticed loose clothing feels more comfortable for me, then tight clothes. Cotton feels good, polyester does not. I understand this may potentially vary for each person, but wanted to ask about it anyway.