Aerospace engineer here, i know this is supposed to be a joke. Just wanted to tell you why they dont do this (besides for the joke). The nose of a rocket creates a shock wave that absorbs a large portion of the heat and energy create during ascent and entry. If it wasn't for this, aka, we made the nose sharp, or had a Hatch to come out (which would weaken the rocket structurally), there's a good chance the rocket would just burn up during the launch or return.
The shape of a rocket nose was classified information for a really really long time bcz sharper shapes are more aerodynamic, so that's the shape people thought we needed to use. But, once you reach speeds where shock waves are significant, and heat is a huge issue, that no longer works. So, we blunt the rocket nose.
Not an aerospace engineer but just a big fan of space/spaceflight. They do do this. Just about every manned spacecraft with a docking port has the part where astronauts come out at the tippy top (look at apollo, soyuz, shenzou, gaganyaan, dreamliner, dragon). They just wrap it up for launch with something that can protect them on the way up.
Cuz when you first develop this missiles, in a world without internet and live stream. Then no one knew how the rocket looks like. Not until the official press release.
I'm probably in the minority but besides the Blue Origin one I honestly never even think about penis when I look at a rocket. Like it's just a pointed tube?
Because everything, literally EVERYTHING, long and thin MUST be made that shape for Freudian phallic reasons by penis obsessed men.
There is simply no chance at all that a long thin shape is just the best engineering answer to the requirement to stand tall and erect and/or smoothly penetrate a fluid medium with minimal resistance.