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Programmer Humor @programming.dev Andromxda 🇺🇦🇵🇸🇹🇼 @lemmy.dbzer0.com 2mo ago

fuck the tests

45 comments

Run it in your head, find the edge cases yourself, fix the bug... weakling.

Or do what I do in real life which is patch in new bugs and even a security flaw or two.
the energy of a chaotic neutral?
"maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but it'll be FUN"

or chaotic evil?
"naw. fuck y'all's weekend.
- Merging failing tests so everybody else has failing tests and wastes time figuring out why.
  
  Nothing neutral here
  
  I haven’t played DnD in like 20 years. Is “Chaotic Dickhead” an alignment now?
  
  That's what the pipeline is for. It's not that hard to pinpoint the commit that lead to the errors.
- "maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but it'll be FUN"
  
  Flashback to that Tom Cruise Scientology interview 🤣:
  
  It really is ... Fun.
  
  On a scale of one to translunar orbit, how freaking high was he?
Tests are just booby traps for the other engineers so they don't break your code by mistake.
- Its funny cause its true. I often design tests to be "if a case/enum value is added this test will explode and tell them to add code here"
  
  This is why I like strong type systems with exhaustivity checks
Real programmers test in production.
- You mean like this?
  
  They were under a lot of pressure.
  
  You mean like this?
  
  Or like this?
- Users will test, don't waste your energy.
tests are for confirming your code STILL works if someone ever changes something
While I know that these days, bugs in code can cause real-world harm (personal info leaks, superannuation records lost, lol google), I find it humorous to think of the equivalent, even worse outcomes in my discipline (chemical/process engineering).

"Didn't do any checks, fuck it, I know this calculation is fire 🔥"

Later: 🔥🔥💥
- It’s more: I have routed a few pipes in our test system and it’s now spitting out water known to be contaminated but now should have some extra sprinkles in so it’s fine.
  
  What I’m saying is it’s even worse than didn’t do any checks. It’s willfully ignoring existing checks intentionally.
Oh I trust my code, but I don't trust my coworkers not to break something on the very next commit.
I physically reacted to this post with a combination of disgust, anger, and fear. Do tests. All of the tests. Randomize the order in which your tests run. Cover all branches.
I get a small amount of joy from clicking the "request changes" button and blocking some doofus from merging lazy untested code.
- I love going into a PR with 3 approvals already and shitting all over it
Tests? Pfffft. I am the test.

And while I'm here: https://blog.jim-nielsen.com/2024/sanding-ui/
- Users are the acceptance testers.
- It baffles me when people use flex layout when it's clearly visually a grid layout. Nothing here is flexing with varying element sizes and auto-fill-wrap-break of items.
  
  A colleague of mine prefers flex too. But to me, grid is so much more intuitive and simple.
  
  https://css-tricks.com/quick-whats-the-difference-between-flexbox-and-grid/
  
  Tbh I'm not a web person (more of a backend person) and don't know the recommended practices. display: grid; is a good friend of mine xD
  
  Why do you need either? Just throw the both in the html
Weak code lacks tests

Alt: if strength relies on unity I need to switch to game dev
"Tester, c'est douter"
You can't trust others to not break your wonderful code. Write tests for the regression.
The best way is to try it over and over until it works and then assume it works but then go insane wondering where all the edge case bugs are coming from.

I wrote a test one time.

45 comments