Structure is a double-edged sword

Structured chaos is key

Like you build the jenga tower so that it falls down in the direction of doing the dishes.
- You look at the dishes, comprehend how you would do them if you did, build a plan, then put it in the back of your mind and go about your day.
- Structure like a skeleton. Gives you the rough shape, but you have some freedom to arrange the squishy bits hanging off it.
- For me, this might mean studying with the knowledge that when I get antsy and need to task switch, I can do the dishes instead. It feels like a weird form of circuit training
- Or you start out with folding clothes, then start putting them away, get distracted by the dishes or cleaning up the bathroom, and start on that other chore. The key is to eventually get back to the original (easier said than done), but even if you didn't really get it done quickly, you often put yourself in the mindset of cleaning, which helps on its own.

I told my partner we had to stop scheduling our entire vacation bcz it was stressing me out.

Now we schedule one or two things in certain days and then do whatever we want, and I deal much better with that.

Are you me? My wife is planning things, then not telling me about it and it still feels spontaneous to me. Win win situation.
- Oh. That's a fantastic idea!

Why do you have to personally attack me like that?

Just comes down to whether you want the prison to be external or internal

When you really think about it, chaos is the natural ~~order~~ tendency of the universe, entropy and all that. Ergo, order is against nature.

Chaos is the natural state, but life is part of the universe and life brings order. As long as there is energy for life to use to do its work, it will continue to bring order to an unordered universe.

Yep. This is me

[x] I'm in this picture and I don't like it

I was having a similar conversation to this many years ago with a friend. I summed it up as "I must have inconsistency, else I get stuck in monotony."

So how do you fix this?

You try your best to make it feel like one of those luxurious Norwegian prisons.
I've had good results managing it by planning my week very loosely: I write down 1-3 things I plan to do each day (including work, exercise, cleaning, leisure, seeing friends, appointments) and it's just enough structure to keep me moving without being stifling.
Be autistic as well and give in to the autistic need for structure and routines.
Go to the wilderness and put yourself in a survival situation. There is no structure but if you don't do something then you will die.

o man this hurts.

Jokes on you, I have structure and still do nothing for days.