Having a moment where I'm suddenly aware that there's going to be a day where my cat passes, and it will be sooner rather than later as she's getting old, and there's nothing I can do to protect her.
She's been a constant companion for a very long time, and I'm not ready for that day.
How the fuck do youse deal with these kinds of feelings? First time in a long time that the waterworks kicked off and my anxiety is doing shit I really am not okay with
Acknowledge the feelings are OK, they are normal. Of course it’s sad and stressful to know our loved pets are getting closer to their time. And when it happens it’s so bloody hard. It’s the price of loving our pets. Give her her best life, and enjoy the present.
I dwell on this a lot and don’t know how to manage when it happens. I just try to focus on spoiling her and making life as good as it can be until then.
You can somewhat protect her by looking after her health, managing non-malignant pain and if it comes to that, by ensuring a merciful humane passing.
I do the same. Bought her a cooling mat this morning so she can just ride summer out, not to mention feeding her the best food I can afford. I just wish I could deal with these feelings, because they're horrifying. I'm looking at her right now and she's chilling and happy, but I know one day she won't be.
Edit: you're right mate. I know that's all I can do, but it doesn't stop the feeling. I'll just aim to do all I can for her now, in any case
Whose bright idea was it to have Start-of-The-Month, Monday-After-Daylight-Savings, Monday-After-a-Long-Weekend and Monday-After-a-Short-Week all on one day!?
It really stings that, having been pushed by Dad to apologise for my part in the family blow up (I have a short fuse and tend to lash out when overwhelmed/unable to communicate important things…I know this is not a good way to deal with my problems, but it’s a perennial challenge) I do not get an apology in return.
Nor, I think, will I ever, because I never do.
I don’t regret apologising for my part, but…man it would be nice to receive one as well as give one. It would be nice if “whoops, we didn’t realise we’d pushed your boundaries so hard” happened once
Here is a story that might help you deal with lack of gratitude for apologies when people push you too far.
At my old workplace, the Accountant Manager always fiddled the figures so they didn’t have to pay us commission.
One week, I wandered in to the office for some issue and one of the accounts girls asked “Salvo, you always have a smile, why are you always so happy?”.
I replied “whenever something bothers me, I just ignore it and bottle up the anger until it boils over and I go Postal.”
She laughed, the Accountants Manager’s face went white and we got commission paid the next month.
So the psychiatrist that my psychologist referred me to last week confirmed what we all suspected, that I have ADHD. What I didn't expect was that it's served with a side of Asperger's (now known as 'high functioning autism' apparently). Did not see that one coming but it actually explains a lot.
I should start on the meds (Vyvanse) later this week. No idea what to expect, but sure, I'll take legal speed if it's on offer!
I'm not sure what the psychologist charges to be honest, it was all under a mental health plan that's just been extended. The psychiatrist consultation was close to $1000 but I should get around half back. It's pricey but a relief to finally have it confirmed and get some treatment. I'm turning 53 this week and I should have done this years ago when it became clear that things weren't quite right.
Pro hospital system tip: If you or your loved one is pushed to go into a "Transition Care Program" while recovering from surgery refuse.
It's so under resourced that I've just had to shell out what will probably be ~$2-2.5k on private patient transport because they have zero resources or budget to organise it on our behalf.
Dry salada crackers, and some vegemite dissolved in hot water to the colour of black tea. You've got to stay hydrated. Plain water may come straight back up if very cold. Hope you feel better soon.
I need to vent a bit. Did my exercises just now to make myself feel better after coming home and copping criticism from both my kids and Mr P, all for different reasons. Made me feel really flat mood wise, but the exercises helped a bit. The Elder seems to think that the odd bits of swimming lessons he's allowed me to give him here and there over the past year or so are enough for him to say that he can swim, so it's ok for him to go to funfields with the school. He's always been scared of the water and hates those indoor pools with reeking chlorine, so he's always refused formal swimming lessons. Miniest is having trouble with her friends at school and can't find anyone else to play with, so she wants to leave the school at the end of the year 🤦🏻♀️ Mr Peeler wanted to grab some cash off me to go get a beer and I had to say no because I've only worked 2 days last week, so even though it's my pay day I have to keep everything tight financially for a bit. Everything is my fault somehow. Sooo tired after a hot day at work. I feel deflated and sort of defeated somehow. Might go have a cup of tea.
Hugs mate. I understand Mr P might have health problems but maybe you could talk to him about preparing some of your dinner (chop up veg eg) so that the load is not left up to you all time because the way I see it if Mr P can have a drink then Mr P can cut up a veg or too. I'm sorry if I'm out of line.
You're not out of line mate, your comment is perfectly reasonable. I might put it to him actually. I think I'm in that daylight saving jetlag/just had 5 days off/kids are arguing/short on cash/hot and tired from work funk. Lol, should write a song about it. Thanks for the hugs, very greatly appreciated 🙂
Over the weekend I finally tackled a garden I've wanted fixed since I moved in. It looks good so far, but too early to tell till the seedlings take off. Still, job done!
Alrighty, picked up the car, don't have anything to hold the phone in place for navigation so it's AUDIO NAVIGATION time in a city with winding roads and sudden changes in dedicated turn lanes!
Currently at friend's place feeding her cats for the last time because their mum is about to board her flight home from Brisbane. They're used to me now, one is my BFF and they're totally going to be sad when I don't come over tomorrow. Or they won't care. Cats be catting.
I 'd start with incoherent screaming, the rising from the desk with murder in my heart, then allow the natural backswing that followed to dictate the course of events.
I did some yoga today and it felt good after only walking for the past week because I'd hurt my shoulder and then re-hurt it because a spider decided to crawl along the couch while I was wrapped in my doona like a cocoon so instead of a quick get away I rolled off the couch onto the floor hurting myself.
Anyone else have a surplus of uncooked sausages and burgers from their grand final BBQ? I seriously over-estimated the appetite of our guests! I'd be fine with hotdogs and cheeseburgers for the rest of the week, but Mrs_Owl would be over meat-in-bread for dinner pretty quickly. I'm thinking I could smoosh the sausage meat into meatballs to have with pasta or rice. The burgers will just have to be eaten as intended.
Cut them up and use them instead of mince to make spag bol.
Get a piece of puff pastry, smear tomato sauce or chutney/relish, cut into quarters, wrap a sausage in each square, brush with egg, cut into 3s, bake 180 until brown. Then you have sausage rolls.
Ended up doing an unscheduled sort of the wardrobes after I hung a heavy coat on the rail in the back one and the rail collapsed. :( On the plus side, it was on the to-do list and now I have another box of stuff that was 'send to op shop', no ifs ands or buts.
Also ordered a couple of cheapie sofabed type couches off Ebay, as I am not taking the old ones with me - I did a bit of experimenting and found I could the old ones through the doorway with a bit of manouvering by myself, but I will get an extra pair of hands on the job if I can. Still, it's good to know I can do it solo at a pinch.
Now to get into the shower so I can take the stuff down the op shop...
If they're in Perth, sorry about that. I did vote in favour of Daylight Savings for both of the referendums we've had on the question. It seems I'm in the minority over here on that topic. It's probably because that extra daylight fades the curtains or confuses the cows or something.
Nah, they're in the Philippines, which when I looked it up they ended DST in 2023 and is no longer using it. So they'll have to start an hour earlier tomorrow (shame I can't start early and end early).
I don't mind DST, though it does make things a bit confusing towards the start and end of it.
Trying a new doctor at the same clinic I usually attend as when I got diagnosed with PCOS my original new doctor straight up just told me to lose weight to treat it...yet somehow sitting here feeling guilty for changing doctors.
What a lot of doctors forget, and what we're conditioned to forget, is that doctors are providing a service.
If what they're providing is less than satisfactory, why should you put up with it?
That's definitely true, I forget that the doctor was just doing their job and probably is unbothered and also didn't give me the medical help I required for one part of my overall condition.
Losing weight in conjunction with other treatments really helps. Your doctor is right. But don't feel guilty.
I have to lose weight to take the strain off my joints, I have so many past injuries and if I'm not careful I'll end up in a bad way in my old age.
Also have to help my cardio system, being over weight taxes my system and I don't need that. It's also way easier to get fit when I weigh less.
I'm treating changing my eating habits and weight loss in the same way as I would quit cigarettes if I smoked. Slowly retraining in short bursts. I don't fret when I go back to bad for a short while , tho I noticed it's never as bad as before. Making it as easy as possible .
I recently watched a series on hbo on the food industry, it was enlightening!! It's NOT you. It's not your fault. So do NOT feel guilty. big hugs
The problem isn't that she told me I need to lose weight, I know I do, the problem is that PCOS makes weightloss complex and difficult and without other supplemental help is disheartening. The doctor I saw today recognised the complexities of losing weight with PCOS and was much more helpful and generally more reasonable in her approach. I now have a new medication to try that helps treat the insulin resistance caused by PCOS and this will in turn (with a change in diet and lifestyle) help me to lose weight at a reasonable healthier pace.
God I hate having PCOS and having to deal with doctors. Because so many tell me to lose weight or to do pretty invasive surgeries to lose weight and it's like "maybe I'm fine with my body?" Weight stigma in the medical field is really really gross and outdated.
Because you can be any weight and healthy just as much as you can be any weight and unhealthy.
Because you can be any weight and healthy just as much as you can be any weight and unhealthy.
That is just not true.
The wear and tear on your skeletal system is brutal, your endocrine balances are destroyed, there is a great strain on the heart and lungs, you get cirrhosis.
These are not choices, these are proven outcomes of being over weight or obese. Being healthy is not possible. Well, maybe at first you feel ok, but over time the body and it's systems wear down.
Food prices keep going up, but it's not yet as bad as it could be - Nottingham Cheese Riot I look forward to the forthcoming Colesworth Riots of Christmas 2023.
My pleasure! This sort of history really pleases me - like the Great London Beer Flood. The sort of history that makes you laugh and makes you think. Speaking of which - here is the 2023 Ignobel prizes. list of ignobels
One of my absolute faves and I missed them this year. Don't miss the electric chopsticks and the zombie spiders.
This entire morning/lunch the fire panel has been on going with a shrill, low piercing alarm that really bores into your head. This has to be a OH&S thing right?
I've had a blast today, I take back what I said about Qld drivers being crazy, it's really more at shitty intersections or peak hour when everyone is insane - it has been such a cruisey drive, everyone so polite and generous, I know there is a large cohort of douchbag ute drivers but honestly I think the overall level of irritability is much higher in Melbourne.
Maybe it's just the sun intoxicating me...
good shit
Had a really really moving conversation today with someone I really look up to and turns out to have some seriously deep hidden depths - the way he's navigated trauma and loneliness with compassion and clarity has been nothing short of inspiring and I kind of feel like I have a tangible role model here. Hearing him gently pick out my insecurities, counter them with proof, and encouraging me to take that step towards the answer... Hearing someone else actually say I've got myself together and am so close to figuring out that passionate calling (?!) - someone who has no reason to exaggerate - has me feeling like some deep part of myself is reorganising.
I'm so not used to people saying I'm doing the right thing especially when I feel like I'm flailing. My body and mind are always primed for criticism and rejection. This is not smart or productive or kind! I want to change.
I know I've mentioned them a few times lately but these neuron rental scooters have completely changed my view on living in Docklands. I don't tend to get out and walk much but these things are getting me outside more. The beauty of the rental over being something I own is that I don't need to worry about it if I want to stop somewhere. If someone else takes it I can always find another nearby or walk or get on a tram.
I would love my own that's a liiiiittle quicker but I'll take a 20kph top speed over not stressing that it'll get stolen.
If I moved out to a suburb or town I'd consider buying a nice quick one though even just for recreation.
Or go very far. I do love me a random road trip. Visiting my family out in Melton would be an ordeal too.
I did just transport a bag of groceries from Woolies back to my apartment though. There was milk in there and Docklands has very fashionable cobblestone 'features' at the ends of some streets so now I have milkshake.
Laying in bed watching the Ryder Cup on my tablet. This event is literally the only golf I ever watch, I just enjoy the format and the whole Europe vs USA teams element. Go Euro!
It is friggin spectacular to see but nah, copycatting would be super lame. Our NIMBYs and the recreationally outraged would have a meltdown too about light pollution, power usage and our power grid, traffic probably, etc.
Hell yeah. that screen looks incredible! I want to see the Shai Hulud traverse the sands of Arrakis on that screen. Or the Millennium Falcon make a successful jump into hyperspace and come out the other side in the middle of an epic space battle. Pew! Pew!
Now I’m staring at my sleeping Melbcat. :( She’s happy though. She’s not allowed to roam or go outside unlike her old home, but she gets very good food, endless treats and cuddles and good medical care.
Bricks moved successfully - the area for the new garden bed is now clear and I have a raised brick edging for a new bed for a couple of citrus trees. Tomorrow I will put down a layer of clay, then wood, then mulch at the bottom of the new bed. Then I need to put together the sides and bamboo framework for the raised beds and wait for a patch of clear weather to order the soil fill.
My poor old garden cart's tyres have given in, and the wheelbarrow is so rusted it is threatening to collapse at any moment, so I think it's time to retire those and look at getting a new cart.
(I just noticed on Mlem on the iPad that you have to hit Option and Enter to get the next line. Thank goodness because that was driving me completely batty.)
Took me awhile to get going today but I got some sunshine, did some adulting/domestic’ing. I even cooked dinner (go me!). Work tomorrow, but rumour is it’s quiet so hopefully it’s a chill sort of a day.
Still obsessed with Alone and up to S6. I know it’s old news, but that Larry character. Man, deep, unresolved issues there.
I've been losing my mind over finish artist Käärijä; rap, rock, and sick bass beats, a non PIE language - everything I wanted and so much more. His entire discography (though small) is comprised of many outright bangers.
An interesting situation: back in 2017 I went overseas with the intention of staying there (I'm a UK dual-citizen) and when I did, I unenrolled from the Australian Electoral Commission using their "unenroll me, I'm permanently leaving" form.
Later that year I came back deciding that I didn't want to do that, but I never re-enrolled and subsequently haven't voted in any election since without any sort of consequence and honestly, for me I kind of like this situation. I can't find any information anywhere about a penalty for doing this, only information about if you've never enrolled before. The penalty for not voting is for just that, enrolled citizens not voting. Not for being unenrolled.
I will remember to buy cow milk and chicken eggs tonight when I return from beach sunset.
I will remember to buy cow milk and chicken eggs tonight when I return from beach sunset.
I will remember to buy cow milk and chicken eggs tonight when I return from beach sunset.
Finally took the new car on its first off road run, and was very impressed, had an absolute smashing time. Definitely needs some better suspension, but that'll have to wait until I've added and subtracted a few things.
Good Morning. May I have chocolate pancakes with cream please? Also, would you happen to have a spare hour available, I seem to have lost one somewhere. I'm sure I had it on Saturday, but I spent all day looking for it yesterday and I can't find it anywhere.
Seasol spray and some supermarket parsley acquired.
I might divide it to plant in a row spreading along the rectangular pot rather than leaving it in one tightly packed clump. Fingers crossed it doesn’t traumatise the roots too badly
Edit: Wait. This is meant to be sprayed on the leaves so I don’t want to use it. The leaves are the edible part and also Melbcat might lick it off the leaves
Edit 2: Apparently you’re not supposed to use in on leaves that will be in direct sunlight as it can make them burn. I take pains to put them in direct sunlight as they need it
Season is made from seaweed - specifically kelp. Rich in minerals, trace elements and collagen. Probably won't hurt her and she might actually like it. Ask your vet on your next visit. You can spray it on then apply plain water an hour or so later as a spray to dilute the concentration too.
You can apply seasol directly to soil, but I would dilute it to the colour of very weak black tea before doing that. Easy to overdo it when applied to the soil. Have used it for years. I usually alternate between Seasol and Charlie carp for my plants to get a good range of nutrients complementing each other, but I'm not sure Charlie Carp would be good for a senior cat (tho she'd probably like it even more than Seasol).
Good idea, I remember having Powerfeed years ago and diluting that. Would it be good to dilute the foliage spray and use it on the soil?
It has chelation stuff in it to improve absorption through the leaves (seems to be things like iron copper and zinc) so I don’t know how it differs from the standard stuff.
Oh yes, the carp fertiliser would be dangerous. Melbcat would be attracted to stinky fish and the potassium etc would be bad for her kidneys.
I split the parsley pot into four small bunches and planted them out in a row. But now wondering if I should have done eight to spread it out sideways as well as longways. Being as the clusters looked like a collection of small individual plants and didn’t look like they’d spread out on their own. But that would mean more root trauma and transplant shock?
I can answer a few basic questions based on something I’ve grown or done before but I’m still learning.
Also hoping my fingernail doesn’t get infected from the potting mix. (I previously accidentally pulled it back so it bled.) I treated it at the time with Betadine but forgot about it and dug in the potting mix with my hands and no mask ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I regularly grow parsley, and found that it stalls a bit right after splitting and transplanting. However it will take off again after a few weeks, so it will be fine. They need a bit more time to settle after being moved compared to some other plants
I’ve noticed. But no harm will be done.
That’s good. It’s already fainted a bit, I gave it a quick squirt of something that’s meant to help stressed plants. I’m just going to keep it watered and not leave it outside on hot days until it looks better
Just did my taxes and feel like the Medicare Levy i'm paying this year is huge! Feel like maybe it's time to bite the bullet and start looking into private health insurance plans?
I'm not sure about now but it used to make sense to get it because you were paying the same as a basic plan anyway. I ran with the "I'm just getting this to avoid the Medicare levy" nib plan for many years which used to be the cheapest.