My kid found this tablet out in the woods. This sort of thing shouldn't even be legal.
My kid found this tablet out in the woods. This sort of thing shouldn't even be legal.
Also, she might say she's all that, but she ain't.
Is this real?
Edit: apparently it's real, folks
So for any one else wondering, I went looking for receipts and it seems to check out. Source material claims to be affiliated with the University of Oxford. The database is difficult to navigate, but i was able to find this link to the 4.08.16 english text.
Even as someone who is way out of depth, the database is interesting to explore.
It's honestly astounding how many cuneiform tablets (and fragments of tablets) we have. Multiple ancient libraries full of tablets have been excavated. Now cuneiform was just a system of writing like our Latin alphabet, so they are in all sorts of languages, but we know so much more about those cultures than others of the time because they were writing on clay, then they baked the clay. That makes it last.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_libraries_in_the_ancient_world#Ancient_Near_East
Will Ben Shapiro sing this one too?
Could see this being a Cardi B hit.
Good morning lemmy….
(Unzips pants)
You know you're down bad when ancient Sumerian tablets are getting you.
What can I say? The anime porn isn't doing it for me any more.
Lord Dumuzi: look at this tablet this total babe sent me
???: dumuzi you don't have a gf
Lord Dumuzi: no i totally do, she wants me to fill her churn with honey cheese
???: no girl would ever chisel that. You made your scribe do that
Lord Dumuzi: maybe they wouldn't chisel that to you, but i've had lots of babes tell me to fill their churn with honey cheese.
???: ok who is she then?
Lord Dumuzi: uhh you don't know her... she goes to another ziggurat
Is this the milk for the khorne flakes?
This seems like more of a Slaanesh type thing to be honest
I assume the khornites don’t milk, they take
Yeah this is Slaanesh for sure.
Spit on dat thang.
Imagine writing this and then baking it. And then thinking. Yes, I shall keep this for my grandchildren to read.
That's pretty hot.
I am usually far more into women, but when I want a man that's what it feels like.
You're not fooling anyone Dumuzi - your mates wrote that didn't they?
Fill my holy churn with honey cheese was my user bio back on Reddit.
Are you single? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first.
Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your onlyfans.
Well, obviously, this is not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
This sort of thing shouldn't even be legal.
Why?
Is this what the king pays the scribes for?
If the king doesn't want to know the answer he shouldn't ask the question...
bonk | bonk
I'm just going to leave this here. https://web.ics.purdue.edu/~kdickson/inanna.html
Dumuzi replied:
—Great Lady, the king will plow your vulva.
I, Dumuzi the King, will plow your vulva.