Penis havers of Lemmy, do you ever sit down for a dump only to find you have left a puddle of piss on the floor through the seat afterwards you have to awkwardly squat down to clean up?

Actually no. How the fuck do you piss not into the toilet while sitting? That’s the big advantage of sitting down, that and the extra comfort, you don’t have to aim.

The only times this has ever happened was when I was completely hammered and didn’t sit down properly.

Honestly I don’t even see how this is physically possible. Unless you literally do not have a dick there should always be enough - let’s say range - available to bring the urine exit point below the toilet bowl edge.

I feel weird writing this down.

How it’s happened to me is if you’re semi-hard or not holding your dick down, when you piss it’ll go through the space between the seat and the bowl.
- Nothing worse than having to take a shit while standing at attention.
At some point it will happen to you, and you will be sober. And when it does, you will remember this day.
I feel OP, it happens to me sometimes too. Maybe it’s a small kings‘ problem but my member usually is too short to arch downwards enough from gravity alone, and especially on cold days i always have to lend a helping hand to squeeze it downwards a bit more in order to not hit the slit. It is what it is.

That being said, if it happens twice a day, bro needs to work on the technique.
It's gotta be folks that are growers/smaller. My fella is much more likely to touch the inside of the bowl (or the water in toilets with way-too-high water) than he is to shoot the gap between the seat and bowl.
I have, larger than normal like higher sack sitting balls, especially when I first sit down and the boys kinda tighten up to the breeze. My sausage sort of sits on top of them and doesn't hang super downward sometimes. Abnormal ball to dick ratios, cold weather or "growers" probably how this happens. I've had it happen a few times when it's sitting weird and I don't address it.

No, I ensure my gentleman sausage is pointing downward before I let loose the golden stream.

I hold him down while I pee so that doesn’t happen anymore. It took one time when it went directly on my shorts for me to adjust my habits so it wouldn’t happen again.

If it happens twice a day then on the second you should know about it, right?

No. I usually have to wrap mine around my forearm a dozen or so times to keep it out of the water.

A dozen or so? Bloody hell, you must have a long

forearm...
- Nah, his gentlemans sausage has the diameter of dental floss.

I have had this happen once ever, as a child, and have been so ashamed that I always twist it to point downwards before I pee to ensure it goes straight down and not risk it going into the gap between bowl and seat.

I've had that happen before a couple times. The worst though is when you sit down and the the shaft touches the water. It's like a surprise ice bath and it is not fun.

Or the ice cold kiss of the white porcelain...
- Followed by the inevitable thought: "well, I've got some terrible disease now" no matter that it's your own WC and hopefully your keep it clean.

Never happens.

Uh, no.

Happened to me twice on certain type of sit in which i tend to position my self too forward to avoid leaving death marks on the thing. i started pushing my jhonson a little bit down whenever theres a chance of that happening again, problem solved.

Stay safe brudis

I did once as a kid because I sat on the toilet like an idiot. My dad was... pissed

Happened once. It was a very cold day, and i was in a photo finish race after ice fishing.

I live in a much warmer climate now. The issue that occurs now is when the twins decide to take a dip in a close to water toilet.

Used to happen to me when I was too fat to properly aim down there.

It happens to me very occasionally, specifically with circular toilet seats instead of oval toilet seats. There’s one toilet at my dad’s house that gets me every time.

I can't even quite visualize how that could happen.

Used to happen to me when I was a kid. Now I'm just careful enough not to piss through the seat

Only had that happen like twice my entire life.

Bold of you to assume I am "big enough" for that to be an issue

Maybe it's a small issue, if it has some length then gravity should pull the tip down 45 degrees or so.