I need a new phone but I want to do this right

Graphene OS only works on Pixel Phones. They're really the gold standard. Pick one from the supported list on the graphene os website that suits your needs.

GrapheneOS

Google Pixels are the only options with this one.

No-Ad Modded Spotify from Balatan

Have you tried Spotube? It is a no ads YouTube Music client, that fetches your library from Spotify.

I can't recommend you a specific device, but can suggest a Bootloader Unlock: Wall of Shame, which can help you choose a device, as you are planning to install a custom ROM, like Lineage. Best of luck with your device search!

A Google Pixel with GrapheneOS is the best thing on the market for privacy and security.

GrapheneOS is a privacy and security-focused operating system, which is based on Android and retains full compatibility with Android apps. There are no Google services by default, but you can install Sandboxed Google Play services, which have much less access to your device, because they are running in the normal Android application sandbox, just like any other app you install, and can be removed at any time. GrapheneOS offers many other cool features, such as a network permission toggle, which lets you revoke internet access from any app (like e.g. the Google Camera app).

I'm glad you already know about F-Droid, because there are so many amazing apps there. After looking at your home screen and the apps you currently use, here are some quick recommendations from me:

• Before you start using F-Droid, add the IzzyOnDroid repoisitory, as it contains even more awesome apps that can't be found in the official repo
• Switch to a better F-Droid client, such as Droid-ify
• Revolution is the best IRC client I could find on F-Droid, it looks a little older (doesn't use the newest version of Material Design), but still works very well
• LibreTorrent is an amazing torrent client
• AntennaPod is IMO the best podcast app on Android
• The official Wikipedia app is available on F-Droid: https://f-droid.org/en/packages/org.wikipedia
• Element X is a new, rewritten version of the Element client (it's officially made by the Element team, and you can even try it out on iOS right now)
• Clock You is a good and modern looking clock/timer/stopwatch/alarm app
• There are a few Telegram apps on F-Droid. I have found Nekogram X to be the best. If you prefer the experience of the stock Telegram app, you can get Telegram-FOSS from F-Droid.
• For Signal, you can either use Signal-FOSS (requires a third-party repo), or an improved fork of the app called Molly (you can either get it from Accrescent, which is available in the GrapheneOS App Store), or by adding their custom F-Droid repo. Molly is officially recommended by the GrapheneOS project over the normal Signal app.
• The official GitHub app works just fine, but you can also try FOSS alternatives from F-Droid such as FastHub-Libre, or OctoDroid.

The other apps you mentioned in your post are not available on F-Droid, but I also have a few recommendations there:

• xManager for Spotify (it's a modded, patched version that removes ads)
• Aliucord for Discord (it removes some of the telemetry and tracking)
• Instagram and Steam can easily be downloaded from the Google Play Store. You can use Aurora Store, to download apps from Google Play without creating a Google Account.
• If you only need Steam for the authenticator, there is a way to get the verification codes in a FOSS TOTP authenticator like Aegis, without having to install the Steam app: https://help.ente.io/auth/migration-guides/steam/
• You can either use FFUpdate to download the Brave Browser, or use Obtainium to pull the APK from GitHub

Also check out Lawnchair launcher, since I at least find the stock launcher kinda lacking in features and UI/UX.

Feel free to ask me any further questions, either in this thread or via Lemmy DM

You sound like the ideal candidate for a refurbished Pixel 7 / 8 from amazon.

Test its hardware thoroughly on the stock os in case you need to return it.

Install GrapheneOS using the Web installer.

Install Droid-ify into your main profile from the f-droid web page. It looks much better than the official f-droid client and actually has a working auto-update

Create a work profile. I use an app called Shelter as the work profile admin app. This allows you to auto freeze your big-tech apps to help with battery life / privacy. Install google services from the built-in GrapheneOS app store.

Enjoy.

Get a Pixel 7 or newer and put Graphene OS on it. Pixels are excellent phones and have good support for custom ROMs. The Pixel 6 has a lot of weird issues that the others don't have, so avoid it. Graphene is the best ROM for privacy AND security, and it is also relatively user-friendly.

Or, if you want an older phone, try a Pixel 3, 4 or 5. They are good phones with an older design style that may appeal to you.

/e/OS (also known as Murena) is also a good ROM for privacy, and supports a broader range of devices.

I'd go either with a Fairphone 5 (or maybe wait for the 6 to release) with CalyxOS or a Google Pixel with GrapheneOS.

I should really get around to putting grapheneos on my pixel but I'm lazy.

Why not use most of the web versions of the non-free apps you mentioned? No Google needed.

A pixel phone with GrapheneOs?

Banking apps work great on second profile (user), you can use Shelter/Insular (accessible from the main user), or Android's 'Multiple Users' (which means to switch user).

E: double space

This is crazy. I’m in exactly the same situation and have been thinking about getting a mobile plan with a Pixel 8 (where I would install GrapheneOS on) as those are getting cheaper with the Pixel 9 out not.

Buy a used Pixel that fits your budget. The Pixel 6 sometimes has problems with the battery so maybe rather choose between 7, 8 or 9. But you could send it to Google to get a new one but then you have to deal with them so yeah. Ifixit also has first party replacement batteries if you would choose the Pixel 6 and you would get this problem. Still I would recommend 7 lineup. Just take a look at grapheneos.org for length of support. Also 9 will be hard to find 2nd-hand I recon ;^)

Google Pixel of some kind.

One of the only phone lineups with easy bootloader unlock, and also the only ones supported by GrapheneOS.

You can also use it as-is if needed without going crazy from ads and notifications everywhere like other brands tend to have.

Calyx OS, Graphene OS or Lineage OS with MicroG. All of those will work fine for your use case. Just aim to get as many of your apps off of F-droid as possible. F-droid is a marketplace of free software and all apps in the main repo must meet certain requirements.

I would recommend eliminating your non free apps especially the dark pattern ones like Instagram and Discord. These apps are not private and you can't make them private. They are designed to get you hooked to the point where you can not leave. Also Targeted advertising has its own dark patterns which are harmful on so many levels. I realize it is hard to move but you can be the change you want to see. Maybe make it a long term goal to try to get people to move somewhere else. You can do some research and come up with an alternative.

https://wiki.lineageos.org/devices/ and make sure to double-check that unlocking the bootloader isn't too much bother (ie. read the installation instructions)

Your "ideally would want" pretty much locks you to a Pixel phone. The 7 has serious radio issues, the 8 works great (I had the 7 Pro now have the 8 Pro, no always on GrapheneOS) and don't know about the 9, but other that all the AI bullshit they are pushing with it, I don't really see that the specs justify those prices, specially since you're looking at installing GrapheneOS on it.

I would just add a +1 for Sony Xperia phones with LineageOS support (do check). They offer OLED panels, a 3.5mm headphone jack, & microSD card—with the last two once being standard now almost impossible to find despite their usefulness.

As for services, many of them can be accessed thru a browser. There are enough Firefox forks out there that you could stay authenticated with these grimy, untrustworthy apps & another fork with your typical web browsing.

That said some of this could be given up to an extent. If you have a microSD slot or carry a separate DAP, there shouldn’t be much need for Spotify where an offline library is quicker, saves data, & can offer higher bitrates (obv no ads too). Microsoft GitHub is not useful on a phone since no one codes on a phone & you can subscribe to the things you need either their Atom feeds or via email & all of your personal code should be living somewhere off the proprietary platform—especially if you want to help access to contributions since it is blocked for US sactions in some regions & they bow out to capitalist interests (see youtube-dl, or Switch emulators, etc.), while requiring your contributors give up their privacy as there is no way to report bugs or send patches without an account. And the chat options, depending on the situation you should see if you can get folks to consider your privacy too (else why on this sub?) & switch to something decentralized & with E2EE the default for DMs & optional for groups—XMPP is a great default choice, Mumble was built for games, but there are other options. Need is a strong word, & it might take a few years, but eventually, hopefully you can ween yourself & help friends get off these platforms as it is bad for them too, but you are not going to get much privacy if the corporations & governments can still read all your chats.

We need more Lemmy posts with sections "The things that excite me"

Take a look at Nitro Key. They're like Yubikey, but they sell pixel phones with a security and privacy focused custom grapheneOS.

Buy unlocked. It’ll cost more and you won’t have the option of doing the carrier/manufacturers no interest payment system, but that’s what it costs to actually not be locked into a particular carrier for the foreseeable future.

My actual advice about phone choice is to learn the unjailbroken ios way of doing things because what you’re asking for in your post knocks out a lot of the more specific things people recommend on android devices and pushes you to smaller or not privacy focused roms.

You’re not auditing the code so you need the most eyes on it that you can get so running smaller or less privacy oriented software becomes more of an issue.

If you haven’t already, make a threat model and see if/how that changes your requirements and desires.

Google phone for Graphene is mandatory therefore not my suggestion.

Lineage should not be your alternative as it is not privacy orientated. Take a look at Divest or /e/. There are many supported devices and in terms of privacy much better than Lineage. But in terms of security it is: Divest >> Lineage > /e/

You can check what devices are supported and which suits your needs best

Check lineage's list of supported devices.

Though after 15 years of flashing phones, I'm now on the Pixel train. I love the plastic back on mine. Makes it lighter while also making it stronger. Plastic doesn't crack like glass or ceramic.

Take the Fairphone over the Pixel since you're in Europe

everyone keeps mentioning Pixel Devices, but I'd personally never use one for the same reason I won't wear branded clothes

you should check out OnePlus devices, the bootloaders are easily unlocked and they've major LineageOS support, the phones also have a high quality build, if you like the form of your XR, definitely check out the OnePlus 8/8 pro or 9/9 pro

another option is if you can get any of the Samsung S10 models with an exynos chip, they also have strong build and are supported by lineageOS as well

Throwing Fairphone into the pot. They're well supported by LineageOS and have the additional advantage of being user-repairable.
But they only ship inside Europe.

Havjng a look at CalyxOS may also be an option. It's another privacy android ROM, but it runs in more devices than just Pixels.