There are your options, America: two very old white men and an slightly less old white man whose brain was partly eaten by a worm. Of all the hundreds of millions of Americans, these three.
Ah so, it is revealed in the article that while he believes his brain was eaten by a worm, he came to that conclusion while mercury-poisoned (unrelated) and it is most likely not accurate. The brain surrounded the worm with tissue to try and isolate it and the result is similar to having a brain tumor (as I read it, sry if summary is somewhat inaccurate)