I'm always a little bummed when stoicism comes up. For some reason people always characterize it as "try not to feel things". But first, that's kinda twisting the intention. And second, it's only a third of the whole philosophy.
Everywhere, at each moment, you have the option: to accept this event with humility [will]; to treat this person as [s]he should be treated [action]; to approach this thought with care, so that nothing irrational creeps in [perception];
The serenity prayer more closely resembles the core idea than what most people focus on. Compare the above quote with it.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
If something is outside of your control, don't let it turn you bitter. If there is action you can take to treat those around you justly, you must do so. And then to do these things effectively takes knowledge, wisdom, and (I would argue) empathy.
But nah. Modern take: stoicism = real men shove emotions down. Bleh.
I found Meditations to be a fascinating read but as a lot of comments here pointed out, Marcus Aurelius came from a position of extreme privilege and misogyny, so maybe don't rush to build your entire life around stoicism.
A guy comes along and tells us that we should have some self control, patience and a tempered response to difficult situations instead of jumping straight into anger and fury, and your take is that this concept is just privileged sexism?
what this guy says is basically gaslighting emotional people.
also, he doesnt say "yo, if you have a bad day, just chill"
he condones the angry and complaining. that is a call to discipline. from a roman emperor.
i dont understand how this could be seen as self help advice.
if you are angry, be. if you have things to complain on, do.
and if you see someone else being angry and or complaining, how about not labeling them anything? we are all angry from time to time. and complaining about unfairness is our first nature. not acting on your complaints wont get you anywhere, but you do stay productive. not acting on your anger will keep you a nice fellow, but do consider who you want to be a fellow with.
also, i didnt say sexism.
because it isnt. it's just denying certain emotions due to them being inconvenient in a "civilized" society.
emotions caused by unfair, but "civilized" actions and norms.
i mean, i dont know exactly what he had in mind when writing that, but, like, there are only so many things that concern an emperors mind.
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
well, agriculture is a relatively fresh discovery. as hunter/gatherers we relied on one another, the concept of one human being having authority over another only developed when we "finally" had something to fight over: fertile land. game used to be divided freely prior to that