Why do I get a strange, yet comforting feeling when I stop in quiet places
Why do I get a strange, yet comforting feeling when I stop in quiet places
I find it extremely difficult to articulate what I mean. I've gotten this feeling throughout my entire life, even when I was a child, and I'm sure there must be many others who've experienced it; I just can't find any mention of it online.
I'll give you an example. Sometimes you might be going from place to place, doing your own thing. When you're done with whatever you were doing, you just... stop ... and take in your surroundings. Suddenly the quietness around you seems to give you a tingling, comforting feeling that's quite honestly a beautiful feeling.
I'm 22, and I've been getting this throughout my entire life; and heck, I even get it when playing videogames (particularly open-world games), if they're immersive enough. The most common place I get this feeling in the real world is when I've been travelling in a car for a while (I don't drive currently, usually it's my mother driving me), and we reach our destination: The car stops; the engine turns off; the music on the radio goes silent, and I'm in no rush to hop out. For some reason this feeling rushes over me; it feels similar to butterflies and goes through my upper legs and stomach; even in my upper arms for some reason, but is all very comforting.
My earliest memory with it (although I know I had it years prior to this), was one day when I was 7-9 yrs old. I remember it quite vividly, actually. I don't remember where I had come from (probably school or something), but my Mum had been driving me for what felt like quite a while. She pulled into our front driveway and stopped. The engine shut off; the radio went silent. It felt calming, and I didn't get out of the car because I was just appreciating and enjoying the feeling of sitting in the quietness, with the subtle ticking sound coming from the cars engine you tend to hear when turning it off, just outside. My Mum said to me, something along the lines of "Why aren't you hopping out, Liam?". I don't remember what I said in response, but I definitely had no idea how to explain the reason to her; I find it difficult to even explain now as a young adult.
Now, I've managed to learn where and when to just "stop", and have this feeling come over me, like second-nature, but I still find that I can't well explain when or how it happens with words; that's why this post is so long.
As I said earlier, I also sometimes get this feeling when playing videogames. One of my favourite games of all time is The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (The sequel, too). It's an open-world game where you can travel to almost every single nook and cranny of the land of Hyrule, on foot or by horse. One of the things I absolutely love the most, is just walking around the world, exploring, and taking it all in. I don't care about defeating every single monster in every single enemy campsite across the world, or getting from place to place in the shortest time possible, or finding the most powerful loot or weapons; I just like to immerse myself in the world, like I'm actually there. And that feeling I described: I get it around almost every single corner, especially in out-of-the-way places like the top-edges of cliff-faces, where people in Hyrule never visit. In fact, I can give you an example: I was watching IGN's video of the game from 2016 when it was still in development (video link is timestamped to where I want to show you), and because I had been watching this gameplay video for the past 20 minutes, I was very immersed and relaxed in the game world. As soon as the player climbed up to this rock that was protruding out of the cliff-face, he immediately turned around to stop and take a look at the view in the distance, due to being so high up. I immediately, immersed, had that feeling come over me again, and it felt so nice; as it always does.
Is there name for this? If so, what is this called? There has to be some kind of psychology behind all of this.
Is there name for this? If so, what is this called? There has to be some kind of psychology behind all of this.
Liminality? The same liminal as in liminal space.
One definition is:
of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition: in-between, transitionalI think pop culture references to liminal spaces have caused the term to be conflated with creepy in recent parlance. But liminal is not synonymous with creepy. It describes a transitional period between two states. Like standing in the threshold between rooms.
Your descriptions seem consistent with this: E.g., when you talk about the car ride with your mother—that moment where the car was parked in the driveway, the radio silent, and maybe just the stirrings of the engine cooling down and errant drips from the compressor was the liminal space between your journey home, and whatever your routine was once you were home, whether it was homework or a snack or something else.
I'm 22, and I've been getting this throughout my entire life
Lucky you! I've only experienced it a handful of times: most memorable at a rooftop shrine in a busy city, but in a quieter part of the city. And also at a large garden in the same city that happened to be quiet, i.e., not busy, at the time.
I don't think quiet is a prerequisite though. I felt a similar sensation in airports when I was younger, even with the noise of all the people moving about. What made airports liminal for me was the realization that, in mere hours, all of us in the airport would all take different flights and be scattered across the world, and how fleeting it could all be.
If you're only 22, then if you're attending college, graduation might be another big one where you'll get to experience the same sensation. Well, that moment after the ceremonies and dinner with the parents. You'll have maybe a week or two where you move away from campus, and you'll just be in this liminal state waiting to start a new job or grad school or whatever the next chapter of your life is.
Maybe. But I'm not really sure if the definition fully matches up with the feeling. Assuming we are both talking about the same feeling (and I think we are), you seem to have experienced it from a couple of different things I've never experienced it from before. Namely, the one at the airport, where you got the feeling from knowing how far apart everyone will be from each other in only a matter of hours. I've never gotten it from anything like that before. I don't really get the feeling from thinking about something or realising something specific like that, I just get it when I begin to "take in" my environment. Almost like I'm absorbing the atmosphere itself. And while I didn't mention it, I myself am also capable of getting the feeling within a loud environment, like you. It's just far less common for me.
I'm not sure if it has a name, but the basic principle is sometimes explored in the work of guys like Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Walt Witman. You'd probably like them, they're generally likeable guys.
Interesting. I'll try and remember to look them up. Thanks.
My Uncle Alex, who is up in Heaven now, one of the things he found objectionable about human beings was that they so rarely noticed it when times were sweet. We could be drinking lemonade in the shade of an apple tree in the summertime, and Uncle Alex would interrupt the conversation to say, "If this isn't nice, what is?"
So I hope that you will do the same for the rest of your lives. When things are going sweetly and peacefully, please pause a moment, and then say out loud, "If this isn't nice, what is?”
― Kurt Vonnegut, If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young
I like your uncle. He sounds like a wise guy.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness as a practice is described as:
- "Mindfulness is a way of paying attention that originated in Eastern meditation practices"[106]
- "Paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally"[1][note 1]
- "Bringing one's complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis"[1]
I experienced this when I was in the military doing a field training exercise. As we got in our sleeping bags for the night I noticed there wasn't a single noise. No wind, no insects chirping. Temperature outside was pefect. I felt that tingling sensation. It was the most comforting and peaceful feeling. SERENITY is what I would call it.
Hollywood taught me when there is no ambient noise shit is gonne go down. Wtf wrong with you!!
Maybe I'm the stalker in the woods. . .
Tranquility?
I think serenity seems to be the best existing term. Although I'm beginning to think that people might feel the feeling of serenity differently to each other. So if feelings were an easier thing to communicate, or if people got into more deep discussions about them more often, the exact form of serenity we are feeling might be able to be given it's own proper term.
I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but I definitely understand what you’re talking about. For me, the tingly calm feeling comes from the abrupt change between constant background white-noise and sudden quiet. I love love love that feeling. The moment after you turn off a loud fan, shutting off a car engine, when an ambulance siren finally stops, a jump cut between a loud action sequence in a movie and a normal scene. Even the moment when a song’s accompaniment drops out but a cappella vocals continue.
It’s a beautiful thing.
Edit: typo
Absolutely. The abrupt change from loud to quiet certainly does it a lot. Maybe the reason I got the feeling when watching the clip from Breath of the Wild I linked was because I had been watching (and hearing) the whole process of the player climbing the cliff-face, from the ground up to that point of the cliff. It wasn't loud, but there was the constant rustling sound of the main character, Link, climbing the cliff-face, until he suddenly stopped. That combined with the beauty of the view he stopped to take a look at produced that really strong, calm feeling.
Liminal space! Hope this helps.
That’s called “chill”. Welcome to stopping to smell the roses.
It's not the same thing as this, but frission and ASMR is nice; they just produce a completely different feeling to what I'm referring to (usually tingling in the actual skin)
The feeling I'm talking about feels similar-ish to butterflies, but it goes through the legs and arms too, and feels calming rather than nerve-racking, and it leaves you wanting to remain in the moment and continue to appreciate it.
The feeling I’m talking about feels similar-ish to butterflies, but it goes through the legs and arms too, and feels calming rather than nerve-racking, and it leaves you wanting to remain in the moment and continue to appreciate it.
That is how many describe certain types of asmr, and that’s how it manifests for me in moments of silence and serenity. I would add radiant warmth in the extremities and the feeling that my senses are reaching out into the darkness.
Regardless asmr (and to a lesser extent, frisson) is an overarching category of a variety of sensations one may experience given different external or internal stimuli, rather than a single isolated sensation one experiences while doing a particular thing (e.g. listening to asmr yt videos). These sensations are characterized simply as forms of pleasurable paresthesia with some element of euphoria or eudaimonia (sense of wellbeing).
Almost sounds like goosebumps from music that touches something, like a full body primal tingle
Probably, most people will give you answers from a psychological point of view. And probably most people will downvote me. But I encourage you to inquire this aspect of your being from a spiritual perspective. This may be a thread that could lead you somewhere. Have you learned buddhist/mindfulness meditation for example? (This is not necessarily "spiritual", though, but it is certainly beneficial). There are other realities/worlds happening and you may here have something that connects you to that. Keep deepening into this! Congratulations for being aware of it.
Before reading other comments I feel the need to put my thoughts out first.
Awesome how you can put your feelings into words. To me it is a sign that you are deaccelerating at some time and then realize it explictly. You may spot yourself reflecting on thr things you just done. Probably you developed to realize this emotion due to good parenting - would be my guess.
You would call this state inner balance but in English this isn't very percise. Ausgeglichenheit explictily includes the mental state. The jucking things in your body may simply be happiness. The clearance in your mind - since you can remember it vividly - is your good attitude.
But I have no idea and just guessing from my gut. Bet there are other valid opinions and stances within here. Anyhow I wouls try to preserve it by going to a yoga class twice a month.
Very nice read, thanks.
Maybe. But from the definition, it doesn't really sound like what I'm experiencing, since I wasn't necessarily experiencing any agitation of mind or spirit immediately prior to the feeling.
The word that comes to my mind is "contemplation", it might be used more broadly but I think it still fits.
Doesn't contemplation usually involve thinking carefully about something though? I don't need to think about anything to get this feeling, I just get it by "taking in" my environment.
I haven't found a definition that quite explains it in the way I mean it. As I see it those thought sessions (making up words) start with some quietness and then you start thinking about the deeper stuff. But without getting into the more thoughtful part I still think of it as contemplation.
I get this too. Like the Dark Souls bonfire feeling IRL
I get this feeling too and actively look for it. My best times achieving this have been scuba diving or snorkeling, sitting still after an intense ashtanga class, stopping by after a storm while driving out of a woodsy lonely area. That lack of auditory or otherwise sense stimuli makes me feel super calm but I try to watch out how I do it so I don't freak myself or others out. I have been tempted to go to a flotarium, you know like that kid from Stranger things in her giant tub of water, but it kinda scares me.
The scuba diving sounds like it would do it for me, for sure. Even though I've never done it before and might not be able to because of my asthma, just imagining it (especially if I'm by myself), slightly gives me that feeling (I'm pretty good at visualising environments). That sounds like it would be fun.
You are in for a treat I'm sure! I hope your doctor gives you the green light to go try it.
Escaping a haven of agitprop is truly special.
Touch more grass.