Damn
sometimes content creation is the way to go. Something like VAM. You don't need VR headset. A bit of learning curve but making your own custom scenes in POV view may help of you got a decent PC.
You can look forward to such exciting prospects as society telling you to just "feel better" and gaslighting yourself into thinking you're just lazy!
But wait there's more! If you act right now you can also experience self loathing for not being you're best self for your loved ones!
In all seriousness help is available. Take time to reconnect with yourself and seek out resources. Lean on your friends when you need to. Healing is a process and it doesn't happen all at once.
If I may ask as an edc lurker, I love the idea of edc, but how do you carry so many useful gadgets? If I put stuff in my phone pocket then it scratches up my phone. If I put stuff in my key/wallet pocket then it unlocks my car randomly. I would carry my lathe in my pocket if it was feasible.
I generally don't carry that much on me. Phone in left pocket, Leatherman, keys, and pen in right pocket. Wallet and notebook in back pockets. Any more than that goes in my work backpack.
I would say "thousands" is not really "niche" but yeah, I love small communities. It's how I started on the internet, and it's finally where I'm back at now