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She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.
This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn't I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.
Fr, she wasn't going to no 5k. She had other plans.
Because I’m procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
- average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
- average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)
Calculations
- thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
- coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus
So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.
My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times
same
Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.
That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.
He wanted that for both of them.
He signed both of them up for it. There was a confirmation email and everything.
And he was willing to be at the back. Everyone knows the middle is the best.
Anon is jealous