Soccer is fine. It's the flopping which makes it unwatchable.
Bro you are a full grown fucking man in the prime of your life and you just spent the last minute rolling around on the turf screaming in agony but now you're back at 100% for the next attack?
The game really needs a rule which requires any player who goes to the turf for longer than 10s to get a sub or serve a 60s penalty.
Aah, I see. Well, it varies based on what I've eaten. I ate maple sausage and scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese and chives for breakfast so I guess it'd be an American fart?
I'm afraid I don't have one in the chamber though, so no farts to share.