I would be mad that everyone ELSE got a balloon and not me.
Then I'd be mad that I'm 41, and mad about a balloon.
Then I'd be mad at realizing I probably have anger management issues.
You sound like you're less Pig and more Rat.
I mean.......yes? That does seem like a reasonable solution to a non-problem. The real problem is the group of people who think they have a need and a right to control everybody else.
It's not a new concept. People trying to control other people is a tale as old as time. I maybe agree with the rat, but I think the solution to the problem may be the Everette True way.
If you've never heard of Everette True, he's a comic strip character from 100 years ago.
His comics all follow a very simple formula.
Panel 1 Everette incures a problem or issue
Then....
Panel 2 Everette beats the shit out of everybody.
Works for me! People want to ban books? Punch them! Or hit them in the head with a book! These are life lessions we need to teach our children!
I'll cut my balloon in half and share it with you ❤️
A modern day Solomon
My daughter had to give a guy in Walmart a sticker once, cause he "looked sad."
We saw him elsewhere in the store about 10 min later, he still had a purple stegosaurus on his forehead and didn't look sad anymore.
I'm sorry you didn't get a balloon, let me find you a sticker...
Mostly unrelated, but here's one of my favorites (I had this on a mug but I broke it :/ ):
Thanks, Stephen Pastis. I needed that.
