How do you find other poly people?
How do you find other poly people?
For me there's a bit of a network effect where the polycule sprawls out into the distance. Partners have partners who have partners.
But for disconnected folks, it's mostly been tinder (yuck), and a local meetup.
(Also this might be the first post? That or nothing federated yet)
Mostly just in dating apps. Maybe it helps that in in a relatively large city, but Tindr and Grindr usually have plenty of other poly people. FEELD seems pretty feared towards polyamory.
With feeld, as a guy who doesn't date guys, I get about one match every 3 months. About 80% of them are immediate duds. 10% turn into dates like regular. And the last 10% immediately go to "let me show you my tits".
It has been a weird experience.
The two successful dates I got from there were people that were very proficient as polyamory, though.
My poly friend just finds people on Tinder, says they're poly, doesn't expect the Tinder person to be poly, and goes from there.
Like they don't look for poly people. They just find people, say "I'm poly btw", and see if the person sticks
I do a lot of that, but sometimes giving people the poly 101 lessons is exhausting. It's nice when you match with someone who already knows the ropes.
If it be apps you be using.
OkCupid has a decent Poly community.
FEELD seems tailored towards non-monogamy.
Maybe check around FetLife for some “munches” (vanilla social meet ups) and see if you gel with anyone.
I kind of struggle with this. Feeld has really been the only positive source of ENM connections in general, platonically and romantically, which is kind of what I'm looking for rn. I recently moved and I wanna build friends and a support network, but Feeld not exactly designed for general connections, it's very slow.
I found a local meetup just recently, I guess my hope is that will help!
So I suppose my suggestion is try feeld if you haven't already. It's got a lot of great people in my experience but it's very buggy
Various caveats apply, ymmv, etc. There is a significant overlap between Poly, and pagans, furries, kink, leather, gamers, programmers, queer folx in my experience. I suspect others could add more demographics to the list. I've found that going to pagan gatherings has been a good way for me to meet like minded people, which can evolve towards relationships of various sorts. I'm not much one for dating apps, I could tell you a few, short, unsuccess-filled experiences. But that's me, and I'm sure if I put some more energy into it, other results would accrue.
FetLife.com there are poly meetups there on the events page.