Skip Navigation
dandelion dandelion
Posts 8
Comments 173
made crunchwrap supremes over the weekend
  • aw, thank you - that's nice to hear 😊

    The color comes from the carrot and nutritional yeast, I don't really intend to mimic the look of real nacho cheese but it does sorta work out doesn't it? I find having a high-powered blender to get the cashews blended fully is the key to the consistency, which is important to me.

    The pickled onion isn't that important and is actually getting away from copycating a taco bell crunchwrap supreme. I just like vegetables a lot and I'm always lacto-fermenting something, so this is a way to use it up. It does add a nice color and flavor, though! (Or at least I enjoy it.)

    Regarding the lettuce, here is how I build it:

    1. base: tostada + melted cheese
    2. layer of "sour cream"
    3. lettuce
    4. tomato

    Then when I crisp the outside, I preheat my pan so it doesn't spend much time on the griddle. The lettuce I keep crisp in my fridge by keeping the cut stem / root area in water and covering the lettuce in a plastic bag. Then I only take the leaves I need and I rinse them well before using them (for bacteria, pesticides, bugs, dirt, etc.). This makes the lettuce turgid and full of cold water, which also would make it harder to wilt. The tomatoes are also wet and keep the lettuce wet during the cooking. I probably don't spend more than a minute searing each side of the tortilla, just enough that it starts to brown. I find this doesn't really heat up the cold ingredients much at all, so there is no wilting.

    Hope this helps. ❤️

    If you decide to make them I'd love to see photos!!

  • made crunchwrap supremes over the weekend
  • aww, thanks!

    If you end up making anything let me know - would love to see pics! 😁

  • made crunchwrap supremes over the weekend
  • yes, it does a better job of emulating meat in some ways, but it's still mostly just TVP (and really overpriced TVP at that!).

    The main advantage beyond beef has is through the use of methylcellulose, which is used to make the fat chunks. You could totally make this with your typical TVP taco meat, if you wanted more like beyond beef I would add more fats somehow, whether whole foods approach like avocado and cashews, or by making your own methylcellulose fat pucks in the freezer and shredding them into your TVP mix.

    This is a recipe on how to make your own beyond beef:

    might take a little tweaking in my experience it's hard to perfectly replicate the beyond beef

  • made crunchwrap supremes over the weekend
  • it tastes as good as it looks, too - takes some finessing to get a suitable nacho cheese flavor and to get the beef tasting like taco bell meat, but usually when I make this it tastes better than I expect it to. There have been a couple times where it didn't live up to expectations. Still trying to figure out exactly what contributes to the disappointment in those moments (but I suspect it's not adding enough seasoning to the beyond beef or cooking the beef too wet and not getting enough browning).

    Another thing I like to do is melt some shredded violife (3 cheese blend or the american / cheddar cheese) onto the tostada before adding the sour cream and other toppings. I deep fry the tortilla, then put it on a tray and add the cheese and pop it into my convection oven with the broil setting for a minute or so.

  • made crunchwrap supremes over the weekend


    • beyond beef with onions & taco seasoning,
    • nacho cheez (homemade, the base is cashews, potato, and carrot),
    • pickled onion,
    • pickled jalapeno,
    • lettuce,
    • tomato,
    • flour burrito tortilla,
    • fried 6" corn tortilla for tostada, and
    • homemade cashew sour cream.

    recipes to get you going the right direction (not all are vegan):

    • Joshua Weissman

    For the sour cream, I put 1 cup cashews with 1 TB vinegar (preferably something like sherry vinegar, ACV works too), maybe 1/4 tsp of salt (to taste), and enough water to get to the desired consistency ("as needed"). Blend in a high-powered blender like a Vitamix until smooth.

    Can also inoculate with a yogurt culture and skip the vinegar and then ferment it if you have the time (use a yogurt maker and instructions, then ferment longer for a more sour flavor).

  • thank you!!

  • Standard rule
  • It seems like a lot of people are just not reading the article or the context of the quote:

    Now, this is not Holland saying that Chalotra is ugly, or that they cast someone ugly to play the role of the most beautiful woman in the world. ... Rather, Holland is saying that she is challenging the “standard of beauty” by casting a woman with slightly darker skin.

    I do understand that traditional Western fantasy is predominantly white, but I disagree fundamentally with the notion that the “standard of beauty” for most people is being white. I don’t think anyone in the entire world outside of a tiny, tiny sliver of absolute racist scumbags would look at Anya Chalotra and think anything other than “This woman is jaw-droppingly gorgeous.” Casting Chalotra may challenge our perceptions of fantasy as white (a complicated discussion on its own) but it does nothing to challenge any standard of beauty.

    Emphasis is mine.

  • Habituation and how to change your inner voice
  • ah, that makes sense - thank you for your help ❤️

  • Trans Voice Help dandelion

    Habituation and how to change your inner voice

    Hi, just wondering if anyone else has a similar struggle as me.

    Sometimes when I'm thinking in my mind, I have a voice (I know not everyone experiences this, but it sounds common enough) and this "inner" narrative voice has habituated to a masculine sounding voice.

    I have noticed when I'm feeling connected with my gender and it's easier to stick with a feminized voice when speaking aloud (i.e. to others, not internal), my internal voice is likewise easier to be subconsciously feminine as well.

    Some days I have a really good gender day and I wake up the next morning and my mind has reverted back to that masculine-sounding voice in my head. This isn't necessarily inherently distressing as much as it can feel invalidating or make me feel doubt and cognitive dissonance, like I am not a valid woman because my unconscious has this masculine voice, or the internal masculine voice makes it harder to feel authentic using my feminine voice. Some mornings I try to consciously make it sound more feminine and that is helpful, but some mornings it can feel overwhelming or difficult to constantly correct that masculine voice, and the practice becomes a bit like when I try to use my feminine voice with others - an exercise that makes me feel inauthentic, fake, performative, and anxious.

    So far the only real solution I have to these dual problems of habituation (for inner voice and outer) is to just keep trying and persist. I have a tendency towards perfectionism, which makes me feel constantly like I am failing, and this can lead me to feel less motivated to keep trying. However, I am continuing to make an effort. I find having a weekly speech therapy appointment keeps me engaged in that process, and from letting it drop due to other pressures. It also usually makes me feel extremely affirmed, as my therapist is much happier with my progress than I am, and this usually results in finding using my femme voice easy and natural (though usually this only lasts the rest of the day, again, sleeping seems to reset everything and the next morning I wake up with a masculine voice again).

    Was wondering if anyone else has habituated their inner narrative voice, how long it took for them to do that (or if they just stopped noticing or it became less relevant?), and if anyone has tips for overcoming the anxiety of using your voice in everyday situations.

    I feel like forcing myself over and over into the situations has been effective in reducing how anxious I feel. Over time it has gone from feeling like I almost physically couldn't do it and a rising panic sensation to now it just feels like a bit of performance anxiety right before and I usually slip into it without too much issue - though sustaining it over a long period when speaking a lot can be challenging, and how anxious I feel seems connected to how confident I feel in my gender.

    So to summarize, things that have worked for me:

    • noticing masculine inner narrative voice and willfully feminizing it in my head when I notice
    • persisting in forcing myself to feminize my voice at work and in public full-time, even when it is terrifying and just continuing to get regular exposure and ignoring the anxiety that is there
    • building confidence in my gender with styling my hair, wearing jewelry, putting on makeup, wearing feminine clothes, etc. help a little with getting on-board with using a feminine voice (I think of it as I have to pass to myself before I feel like I can try to pass with others, so finding ways to look more like your gender to yourself to build confidence will help with using your voice)

    Wondering if anyone else has experiences to share or advice.

    Thank you!

  • it was so, so delicious - some of the red cabbage I used had been fermented a little bit (like a young saurkraut); I did chop up fresh dill to serve, and I served with a little dollop of vegenaise (sounds gross, but it adds richness and I didn't have time / energy to make a cashew cream).

    To adapt the recipe to be vegan, I made a few modifications, like instead of using a rich beef bone broth, I tried adding richness and making a vegan broth using no-beef bouillon, white miso, and some v. butter (any neutral fat might work here, like refined coconut oil). This mimics the umami, saltiness, and richness of a bone broth somewhat. You can also use mushroom seasoning granules, which are found in Asian food stores, or MSG to increase umami further.

    I highly recommend this dish, I had never made borscht before and I kept craving it even though I made a huge amount.

  • Borscht

    Adapted from this recipe:

  • 💀💀💀

    (danke, ich verstehe jetzt, leider)

  • ich_iel
  • Ja, aber was bedeutet Zangendeutsch und Zuhausis?

    (Ehrlich kenne ich sie nicht.)


    So es bedeutet ein wörtliche Verdeutschung z.B. Großfuß für "Bigfoot", aber warum "Zange"?

    Tut mir Leid, mein Deutsch ist schrecklich (vielleich A-2 oder B-1).

  • Rule of 400
  • You didn't fact-check how many trans people there are in the U.S.1

    It looks to be between 0.5% and 1.6% of the total U.S. population (2 - 6 in 400).


    Semi-related, the number of intersex people (in the literature they talk about people with "disorders of sexual development") have also been estimated to be around 1% of the population (4 in 400), source:

    1 yes, the U.S. isn't mentioned in the OP, but your sources are looking at U.S. demographics and so I will continue with the U.S.-centrism already present.

    Some Thoughts (oh boy):

    There is a weird logic to pointing out how few trans people there are actually are in the OP. Even if there were many more trans people, (like if there really were 1 in 5 trans people as is commonly mis-perceived), would that make the GOP's campaign of fear-mongering and animus any more justified? I don't think this is what Shon (@gayblackvet) was going for, but it almost seems like a consequence of how the message was written.

    Maybe I'm wrong here, but does it seem like way it is written implies that the problem is not that the trans panic is unjustified in its fear of trans people, but that it is merely blown out of proportion? Maybe the angle was that even if we assume trans people are a problem, it's still so few people it's not worth all this panic and legislation (there are >500 anti-trans bills in the U.S. right now, over 40 of them have already passed).

    Rhetorically this perspective-taking might be effective in appealing to mildly transphobic centrists or moderate conservatives who are not entirely comfortable with trans people but who might not want to be perceived as transphobic and don't want to be associated with the rabid and vocal transphobia of the GOP.

    That wedge between a more moderate closeted transphobe and a more openly transphobic right-wing one is politically useful, so I am not necessarily complaining, but there is a concern here about whether tackling transphobia is really the goal here, and if so how we should best go about that.

  • How important is prolactin?
  • haha, fat definitely increases calories, though I find it's less directly fattening because it doesn't seem to increase insulin resistance the way simple carbs and sugars do (and insulin seems key to controlling your weight). Though targeting insulin resistance is like aiming to get diabetes, so I don't suggest it, lol. Still, it gives you a way to really gain weight.

    I'm not the most fond of sugar though I think I crave it more since starting HRT. I do typically crave simple carbs like bread, potato chips, etc. - eating more simple carbs can definitely be another way to fatten up (they're often not as filling either!). I have noticed stress tends to push me towards eating high calorie foods like simple carbs, sugars, and fats, and Robert Sapolsky talks about the mechanism for this in Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers.

  • Just had lower surgery!
  • aww, that's wonderful to hear! You're lucky to have a supportive mom - so glad she's there to help you!!

  • How important is prolactin?
  • If you want to gain weight it helps to incorporate high-calorie foods that don't stimulate the over-full feeling, so something high in sugar like soda or ice cream. Obviously eating enough of that can cause metabolic disorders, but over time eating these kinds of foods will be fattening, though it can take a bit of time as your basal metabolism will increase and burn up the extra calories at first. Just be moderate I guess, obviously these are unhealthy tips, lol.

    I have the opposite problem though, I struggle with losing weight and not over-eating (even when I'm eating really healthy foods). Fasting has helped me lose weight, personally.

  • How important is prolactin?
  • It's probably not a healthy tip, but I think there were some studies that showed being overweight led to more breast growth. It sorta makes sense, the breasts are a place where excess fat is stored. That said, being overweight creates lots of other health risks, so it's probably not good to target that as much as fat cycling where you shed and put on weight might be part of a strategy of transitioning.

  • How important is prolactin?
  • Have you talked to your doctor about it?

    Just reading briefly, it's normal to have low prolactin levels (less than 25 ng/mL) for women who aren't pregnant. If you were trying to prepare to breastfeed and your levels remained low that might be something to talk to your doctor about. However, I wouldn't worry about it for normal breast growth.

    The things you should focus on to promote good breath growth are things that keep you in good health generally, like

    • eating a healthy and diverse diet (e.g. incorporate more salads with vegetables and nuts, choose less refined sources of carbs like whole wheat instead of white bread, etc.),
    • staying hydrated (keep water by you all day and drink it regularly),
    • avoiding drug use (especially tobacco and alcohol),
    • keeping good sleep hygiene (helpful PDF),
    • regularly exercising (both aerobic and strength training, aim for 1 - 2 hours of intense aerobic activity per week),
    • reducing stress (including worrying about your prolactin levels, lol; meditation can help with stress reduction & helping to identify and redirect unhelpful thoughts; recommended reading: Judson Brewer's Unwinding Anxiety, and for a meditation manual, The Mind Illuminated by John Yates).
  • Just had lower surgery!
  • Congrats!! Wishing you an uneventful recovery! ❤️

  • ich👵🏻👓iel
  • Ich hatte anfangs kein Joda gesehen, vielleicht ich brauche neue Brille auch.

  • HRT questions?
  • Yes, I recommend watching all those videos. They were what finally forced me to admit I was probably trans and that I should at least try hormones and socially transitioning to see whether it made things better or not.

  • How's your week been?
  • Been feeling a little bit weird gender-wise the past couple days. Yesterday especially was a "butch" day for me, spent a lot of time working in the garden in my overalls, talked to my neighbor in boy-mode. I can't bring myself to tell them I'm transitioning because they're a right-wing sovereign citizen and I think it would probably kill an otherwise cooperative and amicable relationship (don't exactly want to feel unsafe in my own home). Still, it's getting harder to hide my breasts and my face is obviously different after almost 5 months of HRT.

    Managed to get my name changed with my employer after getting my updated social security card. Mailed off my passport and waiting for that.

    Also learned that my state recently passed legislation that prevents me from updating my gender marker on any legal forms of ID, so I won't be able to update my gender marker on my driver's license. I think it's probably illegal and there is already a lawsuit by the ACLU, so I'm basically just waiting for the litigation to overturn the new law.

    Otherwise I have unprecedented amounts of energy and ability to handle stress. I've been baking a lot for other people, and going to a lot of social events, even opting to go to social events on my own (something I have never done in my life; I only have ended up in social situations through obligation and pressure from others in the past). Life is really different on estrogen, much better than I could have anticipated.

  • stable, consistent dose leading to tolerance / downregulation?


    tl;dr after injecting the same amount of estradiol valerate (subq) for a month or so, I started to experience more dysphoria and signs of testosterone (esp. mental) started to come back. Any reason this might be?

    Longer version / details:

    I injected 5 mg (0.25 mL) of estradiol valerate subq into my thighs every four days for a while, and for a couple weeks I started injecting into my abdomen instead to avoid blood supplies.

    This dose seemed like more than enough. In the past 3.4 mg every 3 days gave me blood estradiol levels of ~350 pg/mL at trough. Recent labs showed 5 mg every 4 days had ~300 pg/mL at trough for me, which was lower than I expected.

    It's a good level, but I was having weird dysphoric experiences that commonly happen when my hormones are out of wack (usually when I'm taking too little estrogen). Things like really doubting my gender identity, depression (lack of motivation, lethargic), anhedonia (little pleasure, flat affect, often leads to craving short-term reward behaviors). Physiological signs of T were not as evident in this case, and the dysphoria was not as severe as in the past when my estrogen was too low. Still, it seemed a lot like my estrogen was too low.

    I increased my dose to 5.4 mg and the dysphoria went away within a day and I felt amazing and continued to feel amazing. I intended to switch to 5.4 mg / 4 days instead, but on day 3 I could feel my hormones coming down and trusting my experience I injected 5 mg a day early with the intention of trying 5 mg / 3 days (which is a lot more than I have taken before in terms of what this should do to my overall levels). Still not sure what I will do next. Part of me wants to stick with a 4 day cycle to keep lower peaks and to minimize overall levels (out of principle, I know injecting is not as risky as oral routes).

    I'm trying to figure out why a stable dose that seems so high and was for the most part effective would suddenly not be "enough" (assuming that's indeed what's happening).

    For context I'm close to 4 months on HRT, I took bicalutamide for a bit but stopped because I don't think it helped my mental symptoms and that's the most important therapeutic goal for me with taking HRT. I switched to monotherapy after 2 months which is when I started the 5 mg / 4 days.

    I've heard sometimes the body can go through phases as it adjusts to estrogen early in HRT, so maybe this is just one of those lurches or adjustments?

    Anyway here are some guesses I came up with:

    • I gained some weight (like 15 lbs), some maybe I need a little more EV than before?
    • injecting into abdomen depots the oil differently than the thigh, so maybe I am seeing a slower or lower circulation of EV (or alternatively a much faster circulation that is causing a crash earlier?)
    • maybe the estrogen receptors are downregulating due to taking too high of a dose too regularly? (I see lots of debate about whether this is a thing, mostly people on Reddit rejecting the idea that this has any clinical relevance.)

    Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has suggestions.

    Thanks so much!


    What does "non-binary" mean?

    Non-binary seems like it could have several non-compatible meanings, so I wanted to list some of those meanings and see if there are any others out there I don't know.

    One way I could think of non-binary is as being a kind of third gender category, like there are men, women, and non-binary people. In this sense of non-binary a butch woman who considers themselves a woman would not be non-binary because they are a woman.

    Sometimes non-binary is used like "genderqueer" is sometimes used, as a generic description of anyone who doesn't fit perfectly in the narrow confines of the binary genders (i.e. men and women). In this sense a butch woman could see themselves as a woman, but also as genderqueer and non-binary, as they do not conform to binary gender norms for women.

    Another way non-binary seems to be used (related to genderqueer in its historical context) is as a political term, an identity taken up by otherwise cis-sexual and even cis-gendered people who wish to resist binary gender norms and policing. In this sense even a femme cis-sexual woman might identify as non-binary. Sometimes this political identity label might come with a gender expression that cuts against the gender expectations for the assigned sex at birth, but it doesn't have to. (I recently met two people whose gender expressions matched their assigned sex at birth but who identified as non-binary in this political sense.)

    I was wondering what other meanings of non-binary are out there, and how they are commonly used.

    Note: gatekeeping what is "really" non-binary seems pointless to me, since I agree with Wittgenstein that "language is use".

    I know people get heated about policing what a word means (and I am guilty of this myself), but in the interest of inclusion, pluralism, and general cooperation in our community I think we can find a way to communicate with overlapping and different meanings of a shared term.


    caesar salad pizza

    More photos of the pizza being made:

    based on this recipe (not intended as an endorsement):


    • herbed compound butter (fresh parsley, minced garlic, oregano)
    • tomato slices
    • red onion slices
    • mozz.
    • breaded and fried tofu (as a kind of chkn)
    • caesar salad dressing (mayo, cashew cream, mustard, capers, parm, lemon juice)
    • lettuce
    • parm
    • bacon bits (used this recipe)

    how to cope mentally during gaps in HRT

    I recently had an injection that seemed to go wrong (CW: blood, I inject EV subq and I hit something like a capillary, there was a lot of blood and it bruised badly afterwards). Within a couple days I felt unusually dysphoric as a result of what I assume was a failure for the oil to depot and slowly release over time.

    I get these "dysphoric thoughts" that maybe the estrogen is causing the problems, that I don't have objective proof that I'm trans, etc. Lots of doubt, paranoia, and increasing amounts of anxiety and irrational fear (about transition, but also in general, e.g. thinking spiders are in my bed), and I start to experience depression and anhedonia (things aren't as pleasurable, everything feels pretty flat emotionally, I just feel "bad").

    Of course when I inject again and it goes well, I feel much better and I forget about these problems.

    I was just wondering if anyone has advice on how to deal with dysphoria when there are gaps in the HRT. Obviously in the long term, surgery will fix the hormone issue and I suspect that will fix this problem. Until then, though, I am stuck in a rather fragile place where I feel normal (even good, even amazing) when my estrogen levels are high and suppressing my testosterone. Any small slip in that and I barely function as a person.

    Before HRT I would just do whatever I could to increase mental well-being:

    • physical exertion (aerobic exercise, weightlifting, etc.)
    • going outside and getting sunshine
    • keeping up with hydration
    • keeping good sleep hygiene (sleeping enough, going to sleep at the same times, etc.)
    • meditation every day

    But now it feels harder for me to "bootstrap" when there are gaps in HRT and my hormones aren't right, it's like I'm no longer used to how hard it was before.

    Anyway - any tips or thoughts, would like to hear other's experiences.


    breakfast pizza


    • tofu scramble (pressed tofu blocks broken up and flavored with black salt, turmeric, onion & garlic powder, nooch, smoked paprika, black pepper; allowed to sit in the fridge for a long time to absorb the flavor; then pan-fried with onions)
    • spicy beyond breakfast sausage
    • some violife "feta" cheez (tasted like the mildest goat cheese, could sub with Miyokos cashew mozzarella, or go with a cheddar cheez)
    • bacon bits (I was going to use Horray foods bacon but ran out, so I made some roughly based on Pot Thickens's recipe)
    • extra nooch for cheezy flavor
    • slices were garnished with green onions

    Sauce was a sausage gravy, basically I made a roux with flour and Melt vegan butter, soaked cashews and blended them with a high powered blender into a cream, added maybe 1 tsp of white miso paste and maybe a few TB of mushroom powder and a 1/2 tsp of Better Than Bouillon no-chkn bouillon. Slowly incorporated broth into the roux until it formed a paste, then I added the cream. I cooked up a single patty of Original Beyond Breakfast Sausage and broke it into pieces and then incorporated that into the gravy.

    The crust was made out of freshly milled whole wheat (I used spelt, hard red winter wheat, and soft white wheat berries) and used a sourdough starter. I also subbed a Dos Equis beer for the water (just trying to use it up) and that added some flavor.

    This pizza was much, much better than I expected. Far exceeded expectations. I had never heard of a breakfast pizza before, apparently it's something people get at gas stations? Either way, this pizza is a winner.

    Next time I plan to use omelette toppings, like:

    • spinach
    • black olives
    • tomatoes
    • avocado
    • bell pepper
    • mushrooms